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30 Positive Affirmations for Kids

Family, Inspiration, Life, Spirit

Positive affirmation is essentially thinking positively, believing in yourself and that you’ll get what you want. One of the most important elements of positive affirmation is repetition. In order for them to be effective, it is necessary to repeat them to yourself (write them down even) several times a day. Additionally, they have to be very specific.

While positive affirmation is not accepted by everyone as effective, there is strong evidence that it works, if used properly.

Our own Liz Parry has written about this in an article titled “How to use the power of positive affirmations“, where she suggests practical ways of making them work:

The way to use affirmations is to repeat them on a constant, daily basis so that they sink into your subconscious. You could incorporate this as part of your daily routine. For example, as you are brushing your teeth or showering, remind yourself to repeat your affirmations. As you are doing your hair or dressing, look at yourself in the mirror and repeat your affirmations. This is a very powerful way of making these statements hit home.

In many cases, when we talk about positive affirmations, it is in relation to adults; but that doesn’t have to be the case. In fact, children can benefit from them as well.

Children are not exempt from issues adults face – from lack of self-esteem to depression. There are, of course, professionals who deal with these children. They use various tools and methods – from personalised children’s books to storytelling to social activities to role-playing and much more – to help children become well-adjusted.

Positive affirmations for kids are also a useful and effective way to boost their confidence, especially if they see the same effect on their parents. If your child needs some help, then you may want to harness the power of positive affirmations together.

To make the impact even stronger, shake things up. Don’t limit yourself to reciting the affirmations throughout the day. Write short notes and put them inside your kid’s lunchbox. Place those notes on their nightstand. Spend time in the park and utter the affirmations.

Positive Affirmations for Kids

positive affirmations for kids

Here are some positive affirmations for kids that you can use to give your child the help he/she needs, or even if simply to instill values.

  1. I am blessed.
  2. I love myself.
  3. My family, friends, and teachers love me for who I am.
  4. My parents are proud of me.
  5. I am special.
  6. I can control my emotions if I focus.
  7. I am calm and peaceful.
  8. I am friendly.
  9. I am a fun person.
  10. My friends enjoy playing with me.
  11. I am polite and courteous, even in the face of rudeness.
  12. I am helpful.
  13. I am thankful. (You can make variations of this. “I am thankful for ____.)
  14. I am happy.
  15. I have fears, but I have the courage to face them.
  16. When I am angry, I don’t stay that way long.
  17. I talk about my feelings.
  18. I love going to school because learning is fun.
  19. I do my best in school.
  20. I am always on time.
  21. I like new challenges.
  22. I have a lot of brilliant ideas.
  23. I do my best in finishing my household chores.
  24. I am a loving and kind sibling.
  25. I listen to my parents and obey them.
  26. My imagination is amazing.
  27. I like to eat fruits and vegetables.
  28. I like to play outside.
  29. I see beauty in nature.
  30. I believe in my dreams. (Tip: Identify a dream – or dreams – and emphasize it together with this affirmation.)

Positive affirmations for kids is a fun way to teach your kids how to have a good outlook on life. Whether they need help for specific issues or not, integrating positive affirmations in their lives can only result in something worthwhile.

Do you use positive affirmations? Have you tried them with your children?

Also read: How to Make Sure You Have a Good Day By Using Positive Affirmations

Originally posted on September 21, 2015 @ 8:00 am

What Is Childhood Emotional Neglect And How It Affects Your Child

Family, Life

Childhood emotional neglect. It’s not something we hear about when talking of typical developmental childhood conditions. But it’s actually more common than we think, albeit less noticeable because the manifestations are not as alarming as, say, autism, ADHD or defiant behavior. Yet, CEN can lead to serious problems in adulthood, which we shall enumerate in this article.

Parents who learn about emotional neglect in childhood often wonder what they have done that resulted in CEN. Dr. Jonice Webb, a clinical psychologist, defines the condition as the effect of a parent’s failure to respond enough to a child’s emotional needs. When your kid comes home from school looking sad or upset and you don’t bother to ask what happened, or the pet dog died and you did not comfort him, those are examples of emotional neglect. Done often enough, it has a cumulative effect that exhibits itself later in life, from the teen years to adulthood.

Parents are often too busy to take notice of their child’s feelings. Or if they do, they ignore them or read something else into the child’s high-strung or defiant behavior. True, they provide for the physical and educational needs of their offspring and the children grow up medically healthy and finish school. But there’s less talking, sharing of experiences and bonding over meals and short vacations. The child ends up feeling distant and unloved. He learns to inhibit himself from others and repress his emotions in the absence of a positive response from his parents.

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The Insidious Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect

Depression

Depression affects 20% of teens in the United States, regardless of gender, social status, race and other demographics. A study by psychologists at Leiden University in the Netherlands found that the primary cause of depression in later life is emotional neglect, exemplified by lack of attention, empathy and support from their parents or guardian.

Addictive behavior

Although child sexual, physical and emotional abuse are key factors that contribute to substance addiction, habitual indifference to a child’s feelings also lead to addictive behavior. Trauma in childhood has been linked to a person’s predisposition to addiction. Trauma in its broad sense is stress that may be physical or emotional from which a person cannot remove himself. CEN stems from a parent’s chronic lack of attention, which is a traumatic situation for a child.

Pervasive sense of unhappiness and discontent

A child who grows up emotionally neglected often becomes an unhappy and discontented adult. He or she may have a good family and a great well-paying job but there’s an unexplainable emptiness in his or her life. Often, the unhappy adult feels he has not reached his true potential and compares himself with others more successful than he is. This “grass is greener” outlook leads to constant job hopping, believing the perfect job is yet to come. It can also lead to unstable relationships, especially with a significant partner.

Unhappiness also comes from a learned technique in childhood of suppressing one’s own needs yet meeting the needs of others. He presents a cheerful face and is thought of as a caring and thoughtful person but deep inside, the unhappiness lingers.

Childhood emotional neglect is not easily evident and so has the tendency to remain unchecked. Parents who are aware of the disorder and wish to avoid doing it to their own kids can use the following approaches:

  1. When your child is sad, angry or upset, do not give a general assurance that everything will be alright. You are not addressing the problem nor showing you understand his emotions. Instead, ask your child what happened and identify what his specific feelings are toward the incident.
  2. After knowing the cause of his emotions (for ex., anger,) poke and find out what he is angry about. If he got into a fight at school, was he angry at his opponent for upsetting him, or angry at himself for being humiliated? When you know what the underlying cause of the feeling is, you are better able to offer appropriate support.
  3. Show sympathy. Show your child that you support him and understand what he’s going through. Reassure him that no matter what happens, you’ll be there for him.
  4. Teach him to let go of control. The child must realize early on that he cannot control everything and that it should not be a source of frustration or anger. Train him to be accepting of events and other people’s behaviors.

Related Readings

Summer Parenting Project: How to Teach Kindness to Kids
Determine If You’re Lacking Self-Compassion, and Learn How to Develop It

Image sources: Pixabay

Originally posted on July 24, 2015 @ 9:09 am

How to Cope With the Sudden Death of a Loved One

Family, Healing, Life, Spirit

Although we all know that death is inevitable, it still doesn’t stop the mourning that follows the dying of a loved one. Impending death from a lingering illness and death that comes suddenly may cause the same level of grief for the people left behind. But the difference lies in how they cope with the loss.

When a person dies unexpectedly, it takes the family and friends by surprise. Sudden and unanticipated death may be caused by an accident, suicide, accidental shooting or murder, and certain medical conditions. Unlike the dying of someone who has been sick for a long time, the shock and bewilderment of people left behind in a sudden death are so acute and intense that the coping capacity is greatly impaired. The overwhelming grief of the parent or life partner can affect them to such a great extent that functioning is significantly diminished.

Bereaved survivors are plagued by feelings of despair, numbness, anger, guilt for still being alive and often an immeasurable sense of yearning that strikes any time. These feelings persist longer and are more intense than the emotions that assail the normal grieving person. There were no goodbyes and no more chance to do or say anything you would have wanted to, to the dead one. In the dual process model of coping with grief, the individual swings between loss-oriented responses and restoration activities to learn how to accept the reality and live life without the beloved. The back and forth seesaw creates a balance that enables the grieving person to cope with the sudden death of a loved one, reenter the daily normalcy of living grounded in reality.

It helps to know what to do in dealing with the unexpected death of a loved one, for one’s self and for learning how to help others who may go through it.

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Allow yourself to grieve to be able to cope with sudden death.

  • Get psychotherapy if you feel it’s necessary and will help.
  • Seek out a support group where you can share experiences and hear about other people’s own agony.
  • If you belong to a religious community, perform the rituals and traditions of your faith and seek spiritual guidance from your church.
  • Maintain communication with your close friends whose shoulders you can cry on when the going gets rough.

Engage in restoration activities.

Although you are still in prolonged grief, keep in mind that life has to go on even in the absence of your dear one. Restoration activities give you a reality check and having to focus on day to day activities keep you from brooding over your tragic loss.

  • Get physical. Go to the gym regularly or take 30-minute long walks frequently. Aside from the benefits on your body’s health, physical activities release brain chemicals that help combat the depression and anxiety that come with grief.
  • Learn new skills. Budgeting finances, cooking, minor house repairs are useful skills to have, especially if you were dependent on your partner for them. The internet has many free courses, or enroll in a community class and make new acquaintances on the side.
  • Take care of your physical and mental well-being. Get enough sleep and eat healthy. Don’t tire yourself out and avoid turning to alcohol and drugs to get relief.
  • Don’t isolate yourself totally. Join social activities to keep your mind off your loss, even if only temporarily.

The sudden demise of a loved one can turn your world upside down, and there’s no denying that that someone is gone forever. But it can also make you aware of what’s important in life and not get lost in the trivialities.

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Originally posted on July 15, 2015 @ 9:04 am

Summer Parenting Project: How to Teach Kindness to Kids

Family, Life

It’s summer time, and while the kids are jumping all over the place happily thinking of school-free days, parents are thinking about what to do.

There are the usual summer camps and vacations, but why not consider adding something to your summer activities? Take advantage of the fun and teach kindness to kids. Isn’t that an idea worth considering?

Here are some things you can do to teach kindness to kids.

Set an example.

[tweetthis url=”https://www.thedailymind.com/how-to/summer-parenting-project-how-to-teach-kindness-to-kids/”]“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” – Lao Tzu[/tweetthis]

Children learn best by example, and they are more perceptive than we adults may sometimes think. What they see from our behavior, they imbibe and carry on to adulthood. This summer, pay more attention to how you treat people around you – from family members to friends to the grocery cashier to strangers. And, I think it goes without saying that this should be practiced not only this summer but every day.

Explain the concept of kindness.

While children learn by observing their parents, it is also important for them to understand the underlying concept. You can do this by talking to them about the idea of kindness.

What is kindness? What does it mean? Why is it important?

If you need some help, you can read some research articles that can give you an idea on how to explain kindness to kids. Here is another useful read.

Plan activities to apply kindness.

teach kindness to kids

Source

Here are some things you can do to teach kindness to kids and have fun while at it.

Tip: make sure you turn these activities into learning moments.

  1. Go to the playground, and ask your kids to remember to practice kindness. You can then talk about their behavior after. Praise them for the good that they did, and make suggestions – in a positive way – what they could do better. Be as specific as possible.
  2. Go to a public place like the zoo, beach, or park and pick up trash you see. This is a way of teaching the kids respect for the environment and people as well.
  3. Drive the point home by going to a recycling center! Make a family trip and have some treats after.
  4. Give food to people who live in the streets. Just make sure it’s a safe area.
  5. Alternatively, if you have elderly neighbors who live alone, encourage your kids to talk to them. They can start by saying hi, and visiting (with you). Occasionally bring flowers and food as gifts – always with the children involved.
  6. Ask your kids to pick out toys and clothes that they don’t use. Take them to a place that accepts donations.
  7. If you’re visiting a friend who is sick or needs help in any way, involve your kids if appropriate. If you’re baking a cake or a casserole to take with you, ask the kids to help.

Your turn.

What activities are you planning for the summer? Have you thought about imparting an attitude of kindness to your children? What other ideas would you add to the list above?

Here’s another useful article on kindness: The Power of Kindness

Originally posted on July 11, 2015 @ 2:00 am

Best Fatherhood Quotes: A Tribute to All the Dads Out There

Family, Life

Father’s Day is the special day of the year when all of us can show our love and appreciation to our dads. While I believe that we should do this all year round (just like with Mother’s Day), it does not hurt to designate a specific date to pay tribute to our fathers – more than usual. After all, it is quite a feat to balance fatherhood and a career, and even the simplest gesture of appreciation will make our fathers’ day.

This year, Father’s Day falls on June 21, so there’s ample time to plan something special for your fathers. Whether it’s a material gift, an experience, or extending an olive branch, it doesn’t matter. One thing is for sure: your dad will greatly appreciate the gesture.

In anticipation of Father’s Day, I’ve gathered some of the most heartwarming and best fatherhood quotes. While some may not be able to relate to them, now is a good time as any to reflect on your relationship with your dad. You never know what might come out of it.

1. I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom. – Umberto Eco, Foucault’s Pendulum

2. The monsters are gone.”
“Really?” Doubtful.
“I killed the monsters. That’s what fathers do.”
– Fiona Wallace

3. I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection. – Sigmund Freud quotes

4. My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me. – Jim Valvano

5. My dear father; my dear friend; the best and wisest man I ever knew, who taught me many lessons and showed me many things as we went together along the country by-ways. – Unknown

best fatherhood quotes

6. Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express. – Joseph Addison

7. My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. – Clarence Budington Kelland

8. When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry. – Unknown

9. A dad is someone who wants to catch you before you fall but instead picks you up, brushes you off, and lets you try again. – Nishan Panwar

best fatherhood quotes

10. I’ve had a hard life, but my hardships are nothing against the hardships that my father went through in order to get me to where I started. – Bartrand Hubbard

11. A working definition of fathering might be this: fathering is the act of guiding a child to behave in ways that lead to the child’s becoming a secure child in full, thus increasing his or her chances of being happy and fruitful as a young adult. – Clyde Edgerton

12. My dad is my best friend, my father, and my boss. When I do something that is exciting and he likes it, it feels three times as good as you can imagine. – David Lauren

best fatherhood quotes

13. When my father didn’t have my hand….he had my back. – Linda Poindexter

14. The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get. – Tim Russert

15. No matter how stronger and harder a man appears to the outside world in the life’s challenges, but he still remains the weakest and softest inside in his heart to fulfill the demands and desires of his children. – Anuj Somany

All you dads out there, we salute you.

More on family:

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Why You Shouldn’t Be An Absent Father And How To Avoid Being One

Originally posted on May 26, 2015 @ 8:00 am

Why You Shouldn’t Be An Absent Father And How To Avoid Being One

Family, Life

The typical father of earlier generations was seen as the breadwinner and the disciplinarian. He may be an absent father in the sense that he worked all day and only came home at night. This is true both in the Eastern and Western hemispheres. The traditional father figure in China, for example, is one who can be trusted to provide for the family’s needs and the new-age dad who gets involved in child-rearing is seen by older Chinese men as weak and effeminate.

But times have changed. Modern women choose to have children without marrying the fathers. The absent father is now defined as those who are not married to the mothers of their kids and those who are divorced. Divorce too is accepted and allowed in almost all countries. In other words, we are talking about fathers who are physically absent from the home on a regular basis.

While unhealthy relationships should not be continued only for the sake of the children nor should pregnancy be a reason for a couple to marry, it is also true that kids who grow up without a father around generally are more problematic than those who have a good father figure to guide them.

The Negative Effects of an Absent Father on Children

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They have more likely to have emotional and behavioral problems.

They are more aggressive than children in two-parent households and are three times more likely to have problems with friendships. They are prone to exhibit more antisocial behavior.

Boys are more hostile towards adults and other children and destructive of property.

They are at higher risk for depression and low self-esteem,  and are more irresponsible.

They do not do as well in school as children who are living with both parents.

Children who grow up without a father figure fare worse in tests on reading, mathematics and thinking skills. They have difficulty with teacher-student relationships and get poorer grades. But children living with biological fathers, stepfathers and single fathers do better in academics than fatherless kids.

They have an increased risk for getting involved in crimes and getting themselves in jail.

A study of juvenile offenders showed that most of them live in mother-only households. Teenagers also have a 25% higher chance of committing offenses.

They are more likely to become parents themselves at an early age and have higher chances for divorce.

Girls who grow up without a father figure have a higher chance of teen pregnancy and early marriage while boys become fathers by the age of 22.

They are more likely to start smoking and drinking alcohol earlier than children in two-parent households. They are also more likely to do drugs.

Children who grow up without their fathers start smoking at 15 and 16 years old, drinking alcoholic beverages at 16 and 18 years old, and twice as likely to have tried drugs at 15 years of age.

They have more health problems.

Children from one-parent homes suffer more from obesity, asthma, headaches, gastrointestinal problems and have lower immune systems than their peers living with both mother and father.

They are more likely to be poorer in their adult lives.

Children without fathers are poorer as adults. They have less employment opportunities because of lower educational achievements and poorer psychosocial skills.

How to Solve the Father Absence Issue

Unless legal issues are involved, the solution to father absence is easier. Fathers who are not living with the mothers of their children because they are not married or are divorced from their wives should reach out and develop a good relationship with the mothers so that they are allowed more involvement in raising their child. In divorce cases, shared parenting should be the goal and the child’s needs should be the priority so that parent absence is minimized as much as possible and children grow up in homes that mimic a two-parent arrangement.

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Originally posted on May 22, 2015 @ 10:09 am