The Daily Mind
Daily Steps To Mindful Living
Parenting may be the best job in the world, but it is not without its pitfalls. No doubt that (most) parents have their children’s best interests at heart, but we can’t deny that even parents with the best intentions can make mistakes – sometimes unwittingly.
Here are some of the most common parenting mistakes and tips on how to avoid them. [Read more…] about 5 Common Parenting Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
Originally posted on December 29, 2015 @ 8:30 am
Positive affirmation is essentially thinking positively, believing in yourself and that you’ll get what you want. One of the most important elements of positive affirmation is repetition. In order for them to be effective, it is necessary to repeat them to yourself (write them down even) several times a day. Additionally, they have to be very specific.
While positive affirmation is not accepted by everyone as effective, there is strong evidence that it works, if used properly.
Our own Liz Parry has written about this in an article titled “How to use the power of positive affirmations“, where she suggests practical ways of making them work:
The way to use affirmations is to repeat them on a constant, daily basis so that they sink into your subconscious. You could incorporate this as part of your daily routine. For example, as you are brushing your teeth or showering, remind yourself to repeat your affirmations. As you are doing your hair or dressing, look at yourself in the mirror and repeat your affirmations. This is a very powerful way of making these statements hit home.
In many cases, when we talk about positive affirmations, it is in relation to adults; but that doesn’t have to be the case. In fact, children can benefit from them as well.
Children are not exempt from issues adults face – from lack of self-esteem to depression. There are, of course, professionals who deal with these children. They use various tools and methods – from personalised children’s books to storytelling to social activities to role-playing and much more – to help children become well-adjusted.
Positive affirmations for kids are also a useful and effective way to boost their confidence, especially if they see the same effect on their parents. If your child needs some help, then you may want to harness the power of positive affirmations together.
To make the impact even stronger, shake things up. Don’t limit yourself to reciting the affirmations throughout the day. Write short notes and put them inside your kid’s lunchbox. Place those notes on their nightstand. Spend time in the park and utter the affirmations.
Here are some positive affirmations for kids that you can use to give your child the help he/she needs, or even if simply to instill values.
Positive affirmations for kids is a fun way to teach your kids how to have a good outlook on life. Whether they need help for specific issues or not, integrating positive affirmations in their lives can only result in something worthwhile.
Do you use positive affirmations? Have you tried them with your children?
Originally posted on September 21, 2015 @ 8:00 am
Childhood emotional neglect. It’s not something we hear about when talking of typical developmental childhood conditions. But it’s actually more common than we think, albeit less noticeable because the manifestations are not as alarming as, say, autism, ADHD or defiant behavior. Yet, CEN can lead to serious problems in adulthood, which we shall enumerate in this article.
Parents who learn about emotional neglect in childhood often wonder what they have done that resulted in CEN. Dr. Jonice Webb, a clinical psychologist, defines the condition as the effect of a parent’s failure to respond enough to a child’s emotional needs. When your kid comes home from school looking sad or upset and you don’t bother to ask what happened, or the pet dog died and you did not comfort him, those are examples of emotional neglect. Done often enough, it has a cumulative effect that exhibits itself later in life, from the teen years to adulthood.
Parents are often too busy to take notice of their child’s feelings. Or if they do, they ignore them or read something else into the child’s high-strung or defiant behavior. True, they provide for the physical and educational needs of their offspring and the children grow up medically healthy and finish school. But there’s less talking, sharing of experiences and bonding over meals and short vacations. The child ends up feeling distant and unloved. He learns to inhibit himself from others and repress his emotions in the absence of a positive response from his parents.
Depression affects 20% of teens in the United States, regardless of gender, social status, race and other demographics. A study by psychologists at Leiden University in the Netherlands found that the primary cause of depression in later life is emotional neglect, exemplified by lack of attention, empathy and support from their parents or guardian.
Although child sexual, physical and emotional abuse are key factors that contribute to substance addiction, habitual indifference to a child’s feelings also lead to addictive behavior. Trauma in childhood has been linked to a person’s predisposition to addiction. Trauma in its broad sense is stress that may be physical or emotional from which a person cannot remove himself. CEN stems from a parent’s chronic lack of attention, which is a traumatic situation for a child.
A child who grows up emotionally neglected often becomes an unhappy and discontented adult. He or she may have a good family and a great well-paying job but there’s an unexplainable emptiness in his or her life. Often, the unhappy adult feels he has not reached his true potential and compares himself with others more successful than he is. This “grass is greener” outlook leads to constant job hopping, believing the perfect job is yet to come. It can also lead to unstable relationships, especially with a significant partner.
Unhappiness also comes from a learned technique in childhood of suppressing one’s own needs yet meeting the needs of others. He presents a cheerful face and is thought of as a caring and thoughtful person but deep inside, the unhappiness lingers.
Childhood emotional neglect is not easily evident and so has the tendency to remain unchecked. Parents who are aware of the disorder and wish to avoid doing it to their own kids can use the following approaches:
Image sources: Pixabay
Originally posted on July 24, 2015 @ 9:09 am
Although we all know that death is inevitable, it still doesn’t stop the mourning that follows the dying of a loved one. Impending death from a lingering illness and death that comes suddenly may cause the same level of grief for the people left behind. But the difference lies in how they cope with the loss.
When a person dies unexpectedly, it takes the family and friends by surprise. Sudden and unanticipated death may be caused by an accident, suicide, accidental shooting or murder, and certain medical conditions. Unlike the dying of someone who has been sick for a long time, the shock and bewilderment of people left behind in a sudden death are so acute and intense that the coping capacity is greatly impaired. The overwhelming grief of the parent or life partner can affect them to such a great extent that functioning is significantly diminished.
Bereaved survivors are plagued by feelings of despair, numbness, anger, guilt for still being alive and often an immeasurable sense of yearning that strikes any time. These feelings persist longer and are more intense than the emotions that assail the normal grieving person. There were no goodbyes and no more chance to do or say anything you would have wanted to, to the dead one. In the dual process model of coping with grief, the individual swings between loss-oriented responses and restoration activities to learn how to accept the reality and live life without the beloved. The back and forth seesaw creates a balance that enables the grieving person to cope with the sudden death of a loved one, reenter the daily normalcy of living grounded in reality.
It helps to know what to do in dealing with the unexpected death of a loved one, for one’s self and for learning how to help others who may go through it.
Although you are still in prolonged grief, keep in mind that life has to go on even in the absence of your dear one. Restoration activities give you a reality check and having to focus on day to day activities keep you from brooding over your tragic loss.
The sudden demise of a loved one can turn your world upside down, and there’s no denying that that someone is gone forever. But it can also make you aware of what’s important in life and not get lost in the trivialities.
Originally posted on July 15, 2015 @ 9:04 am
It’s summer time, and while the kids are jumping all over the place happily thinking of school-free days, parents are thinking about what to do.
There are the usual summer camps and vacations, but why not consider adding something to your summer activities? Take advantage of the fun and teach kindness to kids. Isn’t that an idea worth considering?
Here are some things you can do to teach kindness to kids.
[tweetthis url=”https://www.thedailymind.com/how-to/summer-parenting-project-how-to-teach-kindness-to-kids/”]“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” – Lao Tzu[/tweetthis]
Children learn best by example, and they are more perceptive than we adults may sometimes think. What they see from our behavior, they imbibe and carry on to adulthood. This summer, pay more attention to how you treat people around you – from family members to friends to the grocery cashier to strangers. And, I think it goes without saying that this should be practiced not only this summer but every day.
While children learn by observing their parents, it is also important for them to understand the underlying concept. You can do this by talking to them about the idea of kindness.
What is kindness? What does it mean? Why is it important?
If you need some help, you can read some research articles that can give you an idea on how to explain kindness to kids. Here is another useful read.
Here are some things you can do to teach kindness to kids and have fun while at it.
Tip: make sure you turn these activities into learning moments.
What activities are you planning for the summer? Have you thought about imparting an attitude of kindness to your children? What other ideas would you add to the list above?
Originally posted on July 11, 2015 @ 2:00 am
Father’s Day is the special day of the year when all of us can show our love and appreciation to our dads. While I believe that we should do this all year round (just like with Mother’s Day), it does not hurt to designate a specific date to pay tribute to our fathers – more than usual. After all, it is quite a feat to balance fatherhood and a career, and even the simplest gesture of appreciation will make our fathers’ day.
This year, Father’s Day falls on June 21, so there’s ample time to plan something special for your fathers. Whether it’s a material gift, an experience, or extending an olive branch, it doesn’t matter. One thing is for sure: your dad will greatly appreciate the gesture.
In anticipation of Father’s Day, I’ve gathered some of the most heartwarming and best fatherhood quotes. While some may not be able to relate to them, now is a good time as any to reflect on your relationship with your dad. You never know what might come out of it.
1. I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom. – Umberto Eco, Foucault’s Pendulum
2. The monsters are gone.”
“Really?” Doubtful.
“I killed the monsters. That’s what fathers do.”
– Fiona Wallace
3. I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection. – Sigmund Freud quotes
4. My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me. – Jim Valvano
5. My dear father; my dear friend; the best and wisest man I ever knew, who taught me many lessons and showed me many things as we went together along the country by-ways. – Unknown
6. Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express. – Joseph Addison
7. My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. – Clarence Budington Kelland
8. When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry. – Unknown
9. A dad is someone who wants to catch you before you fall but instead picks you up, brushes you off, and lets you try again. – Nishan Panwar
10. I’ve had a hard life, but my hardships are nothing against the hardships that my father went through in order to get me to where I started. – Bartrand Hubbard
11. A working definition of fathering might be this: fathering is the act of guiding a child to behave in ways that lead to the child’s becoming a secure child in full, thus increasing his or her chances of being happy and fruitful as a young adult. – Clyde Edgerton
12. My dad is my best friend, my father, and my boss. When I do something that is exciting and he likes it, it feels three times as good as you can imagine. – David Lauren
13. When my father didn’t have my hand….he had my back. – Linda Poindexter
14. The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get. – Tim Russert
15. No matter how stronger and harder a man appears to the outside world in the life’s challenges, but he still remains the weakest and softest inside in his heart to fulfill the demands and desires of his children. – Anuj Somany
All you dads out there, we salute you.
Originally posted on May 26, 2015 @ 8:00 am
