Life

Lessons From India 5: Appreciating the Kindness of Others

These days people are so quick to point out the flaws in others but very hesitant to recognize their kindesses. You notice this happening a lot in the workplace. People take credit for other people’s work, blame others for their own mistakes and so on. However, in India I discovered an interesting thing – all of us would be f#$*ed without the kindness of others.

How are others kind to us?

If we take the time to look closely we will see that people are kind to us all the time and often in ways that we don’t even notice.

There are the easy ones to recognize, like our family. Our parents love us unconditionally and take care of us through thick and thin. Even if we had really crappy parents we can still appreciate the kindness of our dear mother who gave birth to us, fed us and protected us from harm in the early years.

Then we have our friends and distant relatives. These are the people you go to when you are sad or need a few bucks for lunch. It is easy to see how these people are kind to us. They put our needs ahead of their own and take care of us and entertain us when we are bored.

However, there is one group of people I am particularly interested in. This group is the kindest we know but we never recognize this kindess. In fact, quite often we hate these people.

They are our enemies.

How are our enemies kind to us?

If you look closely you will see that our enemies are the kindest people in our lives. The reason is simple. Without our enemies we would have no opportunity to practice patience and develop other similar qualities.

This is a basic buddhist mind training strategy. Instead of getting angry at our enemies we should treat them like our own personal teachers for without them we would not be able to practice and develop patience.

This is a very different approach to the traditional western view.

I wonder how you all will react to this strange idea. What do you think?

Originally posted on August 10, 2008 @ 11:59 am

Lessons From India 4: The Importance of a Smile

This is part four in my Lessons From India series. As you all know, I have been travelling the Indian Himalayas for the past three weeks and during this time I have been planning and writing a series based on all the things I am learning. My aim in doing this is to bring you all along with me on my trip – you can learn what I learn and experience what I experience.

The importance of a smile

His Holiness the Dalai Lama often says that he thinks he would be a lonely old man if he didn’t smile so much. He thinks this simple physical act has brought him closer to people from all walks of life.

And he is right.

On my travels in India I am often amazed at how powerful a simple smile can be. You can be down in the dumps feeling sick and tired and then someone will flash you a smile and your whole day can be transformed.

Let me tell you a story.

Two years ago in India I got extremely sick. I had a bad case of food poisoning and over a period of a week lost seven kilograms. I was really ill. I was in Sarnath and I ate at a small cafe called Ice Spice. Never again.

Anyway, I was lucky enough to be staying next to a Tibetan Buddhist monastery and during the first few days of sickness I was looked after by all my monk friends. One monk in particular (who is now one of my closest friends) stayed with me all night patting my forehead and making me sugar and salt drinks to get me hydrated.

And the whole time he was smiling.

When I look back on this experience I realize how much his warm and loving smile meant at the time. It reassured me that everything was going to be okay and that I wasn’t alone. At that point in time (when I thought I was going to die!) that sense of affection meant more than anything in the world. I was being taken care of.

And that is the power of a simple smile.

A smile can can also transform not only other people’s day but also your own. Scientific studies have shown that smiling causes your body to release chemicals that make you happier. What better way to make yourself a happier person than by smiling at others. This also shows that you don’t have to wait to feel happy to start smiling, if you smile first you will cause yourself to feel better.

Now for another story.

A friend of mine from England told me that on the London subway no one looks at each other. No one smiles, greets the person next to them or even makes eye contact. It is an environment of pure fear. Everyone just sits there looking down or out the window like a bunch of anti-social zombies.

Sounds horrible.

I really feel that a smile can change all of that. A genuine smile puts a person at ease and shows them you are a friendly person and that you have good intentions. It can disarm even the most angry of situations if done correctly.

So the question is: do you smile enough?

Originally posted on August 5, 2008 @ 5:41 am

Lessons From India 3: Dealing With Hardships

photo credit: Kannan Kartha

“There is no vice like anger and no virtue like patience.” – Shantideva

As you all know I am currently in India on my yearly battery re-charging holiday. One of the best and most important things you learn in India is how to deal with hardships. In this post I want to give you some tips so that you might be able to better deal with your own personal hardships when you next encounter them.

Dealing with hardships – the Buddhist approach

I want to give you some of the Buddhist methods for dealing with hardships. This makes sense because I am here studying buddhism and meeting with my buddhist teachings. These methods are therefore the freshest in my mind.

Using patience
The first method of dealing with hardships is to develop patience. The old master Shantideva used to talk about how hardships have no solid reality. They aren’t intentionally trying to hurt you so why do you get angry with them?

Shantideva also used to use the example of mucas. He would ask his students why they don’t get angry at mucas and other illnesses but you get angry at other circumstances that are causing you hardships. He said this was illogical because both are due to causes. That is, nothing that causes you hardships has a solid reality – nothing is inherently trying to make you suffer.

So… be patient.

Meditating on karma
Another method that buddhists use to deal with hardships is meditation on karma.

Buddhists assert that everything that happens to us is because of things we have done in past lives. For example, if we are sick it might be due to something we did in previous lives that left that imprint on our mindsteams.

When hardships occur it is then considered to be a positive thing. The reason for that is that the negative karma is being purified. If bad things happen because of bad things we have done then when we experience hardships we are exhausting the cause for bad things to happen for us. Therefore it is a positive event.

While this may be too farfetched for some western mind’s to accept it is a useful thing to contemplate the next time we are undergoing some hardships. It helps us to be less selfish and self centered and stops us from becoming someone who blames everyone else around them when things go wrong.

Meditating on compassion
Compassion is the king of all meditations. The whole point of buddhism is to get people to become more compassionate.

When you are undergoing hardships it is a great time to develop compassion. You can think that there are other people undergoing similar things to me and arouse compassion in your mind thinking how horrible it is that other people have to feel this crap.

When buddhists get sick we have a short aspiration that we recite that helps us make our compassion more limitless and less ego driven. It goes:

“May all the sufferings of all sentient beings ripen on me right now. May I take on their pain so that they don’t have to.”

This is a powerful thing to do because for the first time in a long time we are putting other people ahead of our own needs.

These are only a few methods but they are some of the most important that you can encounter if you want new ways to deal with hardships.

Originally posted on July 20, 2008 @ 11:45 am

An Indian Update From The Daily Minder

Hi guys! I hope all of my fantastic readers are well and not missing me too much!

I just wanted to write a quick post to give you an update of where I am and what I am doing as well as to give you an idea of what posts I will have in the coming days and weeks.

Where am I?
I am now in the North Indian town of Mcleod Ganj (pictured below). This is just above Dharamsala and is the home of the Dalai Lama and the Tibetan people in exile. This is where the Dalai Lama went when he left Tibet and where he has been for over half a century.

photo credit: kristianfrisk

Mcleod Ganj is a massive melting pot of buddhists from all over the world. There are so many cultures and personalities all in the one town – it is quite incredible.

I have been to Mcleod Ganj many times but never in the monsoon season. It rains every day at the same time. You could set your watch to it. At 11am every day the rain clouds come in over the mountain and drop their rain for about five hours. It is very wet.

I will be here for the next two weeks as my main buddhist teacher lives a few minutes down the road. More about him later!

Whats coming up on The Daily Mind?
Over the next few days and weeks I will have a whole lot of posts and photos for you from India. I have seen some amazingly inspiring things on this trip and I seem to be recieving lesson after lesson wherever I go and whatever I do.

Some posts I will be publishing include:

how to deal with hardships
how to develop generosity
where to find new sources of inspiration
much more

Make sure you are subscribed to the feed so you don’t miss out. See you soon!

Originally posted on July 16, 2008 @ 12:20 pm

Lessons From India 2: Being Grateful For What You Have

photo credit: just beachy

This is part two from my Lessons From India series. I am holidaying in India right now so make sure you subscribe to my feed so you don’t miss out on the up-coming stories and lessons.

This lesson is about simply being grateful for what you have. It is a lesson that hits you like a tonne of bricks when you arrive in India – there is poverty, disease and suffering everywhere and your intial reaction to those things is always “BOY AM I LUCKY”.

As you guys know, I have been to India many times. The funny thing is you never get used to the suffering. On my trips I have seen children who have their legs broken so that they can beg better. I have seen street dogs so diseased they can hardly walk. And I have seen men die in the streets while onlookers simply ignored them.

Intially I got depressed about all of this. I spent a lot of time in my hotel room hiding away from the suffering and the chaos. It took me a long time to learn that getting depressed about the suffering is not the right way. It took me a long time to realize that there was a lesson amongst all this garbage.

Now when I see suffering in India I think about how lucky I am. I am comparatively very wealthy – I have a house, a job, a family and a whole set of immunisations. I have it made.

The suffering still upsets me. It upsets me a lot. But it no longer gets me down and out. When I see people suffering I try to help where I can but I also make sure I take some lesson away from the situation. In some round about way this makes the suffering of the world not so obsolete.

So today’s lesson for all of you out there is simply to take a moment to reflect on how lucky you are and be grateful for that. The next time you feel like the world has you on your knees remember that there are others out there worse off than you and be happy for what you have.

I am convinced this is a big key to achieving satisfaction at work and in life.

See you soon!

Originally posted on July 13, 2008 @ 5:58 am

Lessons From India: Having a Purpose at Work

Guru Rinpoche Statue in Tso Pema

I am in India at the moment so there will be lots of posts coming soon in my “lessons from India” series. Make sure you subscribe to the feed so you catch them all!

Today is the birthday of the most important meditation master in Tibetan Buddhist history. His name is Guru Rinpoche and he is the Indian yogi who brought the teachings to Tibet from India where they stayed safe for over a thousand years.

His birthday is a special occasion for Buddhists; especially those in the town of Tso Pema where I am currently living. The reason for that is because Tso Pema was Guru Rinpoche’s last stop in India before he went into Tibet. There are over 10 caves in this town where he meditated and is said to have attained great realization. These caves are wonderful places to meditate and are very still and quiet.

To celebreate his birthday my three friends and I decided we would hike up the mountain to his caves. The hike takes about four hours and is extremely tough on the back and legs. It is well worth the trek, however, as the experience at the top is incredible. It was during this massive hike that I realized how important it is to have a purpose at work.

Having a Purpose at Work

Let me set the scene for you. It is 39 degrees celcius, pouring with monsoon rains and very sticky. The altitude is Himalayan; we are so high that it is difficult to get your breath back when you are puffed out. We walked the hill at a snail’s pace and we were still dripping with sweat and struggling to take each step.

But we made it because we had a purpose. We wanted to see Guru Rinpoche’s special caves on his birthday.

Having a purpose in the back of our minds made the difficult trek easier. Each step had a purpose and each hardship became part of something more meaningful. It was not hardship for the sake of hardship, it had a deeper purpose for us.

Half way up the hill it struck me how important this sense of purpose is for accomplishing difficult taks.

This is especially true for the workplace.

So the first lesson from India for you all is about finding your sense of purpose at work. Why do you go to work every morning? It can’t just be for the money. It has to be something deeper and more satisfying. Something that can keep you going when the times get tough.

If you have a good purpose you will find it easier to reach your goal, endure hardships and make it to the top. And then you will see a view like this…

The vew from the top of the mountain

Originally posted on July 12, 2008 @ 1:41 pm