It is easy to feel angry these days. With all that is happening in the world – from the pandemic to riots to economic hardships, not to mention personal experiences – even mild-mannered individuals may find themselves having to face angry emotions to a degree they never had to before. Normal it may be, what you have to be careful of is the situation when you allow anger to dictate your actions.
What we may not be aware of is that when anger surfaces, it may be an indication of deeper issues. It could be, in fact, something inside of you that is shouting out to be heard and acknowledged.
Perhaps, you are turning to anger as your default reaction than to actually face other harder-to-deal with emotions like hurt, sadness, or loneliness.
Indeed, it is easier to allow anger to run its course rather than to sit down quietly and admit that you have deep-seated issues like abandonment or rejection, which result in being hurt. Or you may be feeling intense sadness and instead of addressing the underlying reason, you turn to anger.
While allowing anger to stew inside is in itself detrimental to your emotional and mental well-being, allowing anger to dictate your actions can even be worse. You end up hurting not only yourself, but others around you.
Words best unspoken are said. Things best left alone are stirred up.
If this strikes a chord, you may want to examine yourself whenever you feel angry. First, take a moment to acknowledge what you are feeling. Then, perhaps, you can ask yourself what it is that is making you angry. After identifying it, you may want to go deeper and determine if it really is anger that you’re feeling or if the issue is actually making you feel something else and that you are simply turning to anger out of habit. Or as a cop-out.
Start a journal highlighting moments when you feel anger and write down your thoughts. Even if the what and why may not always be accurate, you may be able to identify a pattern and eventually get in touch with your real emotions.
By doing so, not only do you stop anger from being the driving force behind your actions, but you also eventually resolve issues you may not even realize you have. Best of all, you take ownership of your feelings and actions and not blame everyone – and everything – else for what’s happening.
You may also want to read “Chronic Anger: Its Consequences and How to Manage It“
