Mind – Page 2

Tips for Fighting Depression Caused by Financial Problems

In a country that runs on credit cards and is teeming with frivolous lawsuits, it’s not surprising to see a substantial majority of Americans in debt and depressed over their finances. The uncertainty over the government healthcare program, student loan issues, looming retirement, mortgages and credit card debts hound baby boomers, Gen Xers, and millennials, which is why more people are suffering from depression and anxiety than before.

Financial problems-induced depression cannot be overcome by medications and a bury-your-head-in-the-sand approach. Debts don’t go away because you ignore them. And taking pills will only add to your expenses, not pay for them. Alleviate your worries and despondency by taking concrete action. [Read more…] about Tips for Fighting Depression Caused by Financial Problems

Originally posted on July 14, 2018 @ 9:11 am

How to Recognize and Stop Passive Aggressive Behavior Before It Destroys You

Mental Health, Mind, Personal Growth, Spirit

You may have heard of passive-aggressive behavior but have only a vague concept of it. It’s a personality disorder characterized by subtle and covert negative acts to show defiance to requests and demands, but avoid direct confrontation. In the long-term, like all disorders, it has a destructive effect on our personal relationships, our careers and the quality of our lives in general. Hence, you should stop passive aggressive behavior.

People resort to passive-aggressive behavior for the following reasons:

An open display of negativistic behavior is not socially acceptable. It is unbecoming of us to rant and rave at our co-worker or partner or hurl insults and criticisms because we were taught that it’s not good behavior. So we ventilate our anger and hurt with subtle antagonistic acts.

How can you tell if you have passive aggression?

You employ the silent treatment. In your relationship, there is clearly an issue you cannot agree on. Instead of discussing it, you keep silent. But deep inside, you resent having to give in, and you’re angry and hurt. At work, you intentionally ignore the co-worker you have an issue with, and avoid socializing in situations where the person is present.

[bctt tweet=”“Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.”” username=”thedailyminder”]

You resort to sarcastic jokes and subtle insults. These can be in the form of caustic remarks or backhanded compliments. Examples of these are, “You’re really pretty even if you’re fat,” and “I didn’t expect you to get the job – Congratulations!”

You have a chronically morose disposition. Although you don’t explicitly say or show you’re angry or sad, it’s evident in your nonverbal conduct. You’re grumpy and sullen, and you give the impression you dislike your current company. You don’t join in the conversation, and you don’t laugh at the jokes. You don’t smile, and your behavior causes the people around you to be uncomfortable.

Effects of your passive-aggressive behavior:

Your intimate relationship will gradually deteriorate. When there is a clash of opinions or desires, you don’t talk about it but give your partner the silent treatment, reply in monosyllabic words, ignore them or make funny jokes at their expense. Eventually, the love and affection will fade away. Left unresolved, it leads to perennial acrimony or divorce.

Your career will stagnate or suffer a setback because of your poor performance, inability to fulfill duties on time or at all, and your poor relationships with your co-workers or boss. When your peers climb up the corporate ladder and leave you behind, you become angry and resentful, and intensify your negativistic acts.

Your friendships dwindle, and your friends stay away from you because you always act sullen, and are constantly complaining and gossiping. Without your friends, you feel isolated and unwanted. Self-pity, depression and anger sets in.

How to stop passive aggressive behavior:

1. Be aware that you have passive-aggressive behavior.

Check your actions against the signs. If you have more than half of them, you’re most likely one.

2. List possible reasons and recent events that made you angry or hurt you, but you kept your emotions locked inside.

3. Look at each upsetting situation from another angle and be objective about it.

4. Learn to be assertive. Express your opinions and feelings in an honest and nonconfrontational manner.

5. Reflect on your negative moods and disposition, and their effect on you and the people around you. Cultivate optimism and a happy attitude.

6. Take accountability for your passive aggressive behavior instead of blaming the other person.

Originally posted on July 12, 2018 @ 10:00 am

What Samurai Philosophy Can Teach You About Modern Life Part 2

Inspiration, Mind, Mindfulness, Spirit

This is the second part of our Samurai philosophy series. See Part One: What Samurai Philosophy Can Teach You About Modern Life 1

The Samurai philosophy is composed of universal lessons and timeless truths to live by. It’s not surprising to see that they are as relevant now as they were then. But the abstruse and lengthy prose of medieval Japanese philosophers presents a challenge. Bushido or the Samurai code of moral principles, according to educator and diplomat Nitobe, consists of eight virtues. Here are four of them, explained in simple and concise concepts.

[bctt tweet=”What Samurai Philosophy Can Teach You About Modern Life Part 2″ username=”thedailyminder”]

If we could all learn from them, and use them as a way of life, there would be much less discord and hostility among communities and countries.

4 Virtues of the Samurai philosophy

1. Rectitude and Justice

[bctt tweet=”Rectitude is one’s power to decide upon a course of conduct in accordance with reason, without wavering; to die when to die is right, to strike when to strike is right. – anonymous Japanese Samurai” username=”thedailyminder”]

Rectitude to the Samurai is better known to us as moral integrity. It is adherence to the moral values we believe in, the foundation of which is love. Therefore, our love for others govern our fundamental behavior, even during times when that behavior goes against what is currently popular.

With rectitude, we don’t use words and deeds that demean and humiliate others. We don’t engage in underhanded dealings and crooked business practices to enrich ourselves. We avoid falsehoods, refrain from unfair criticisms, dishonesty, and other hurting actions. We are kind even to those who have hurt us, while at the same time we seek justice.

2. Benevolence and Compassion

[bctt tweet=”Rectitude carried to excess hardens into stiffness; benevolence indulged beyond measure sinks into weakness. – Date Masamune” username=”thedailyminder”]

The Samurai philosophy of benevolence, manifested as altruistic acts of kindness to those in distress, is likened to compassion in the modern-day world. Compassion is an awareness of the sufferings of another, and a deep desire to relieve that person of his suffering. More than the desire to help, compassion should go hand in hand with action.

But our kind acts to the destitute and to those who are hurting should be done mindfully. Benevolence should not be bestowed recklessly, lest we are abused by greedy and unprincipled individuals or groups

3. Politeness

[bctt tweet=”When someone is giving you his opinion, you should receive it with deep gratitude even though it is worthless. If you don’t, he will not tell you the things that he has seen and heard about you again. It is best to both give and receive opinions in a friendly way. – Yamamoto Tsunetomo” username=”thedailyminder”]

In the Western world, politeness does not rank as high a quality as empathy, gratitude, generosity, etc. But in Samurai philosophy, being polite is a noble virtue. It is our outward expression of our respect for the dignity of other people. Politeness is not about social etiquette, like knowing which fork to use at a guest’s dinner table. It’s about gentle behavior, about being able to maintain composure in the face of rudeness, even if the rude behavior deserves to be called out.

Politeness is not obsequiousness or sycophancy. It’s being able to exchange differing points of view with civility, without insulting or demeaning the other person. Moreover, the constant application of polite behavior in our daily lives leads to the development of a strong moral person. A calm mind, a placid temper, and a quiet demeanor lay the groundwork for ethical actions, thoughts and feelings.

4. Courage

[bctt tweet=”If you fear death, you will die. – an old Samurai saying.” username=”thedailyminder”]

In Bushido, courage was essential for its Samurai warriors, In contemporary setting, it’s being afraid yet doing what we believe is right. Sometimes, what is right may also be unpopular. Physical courage when faced with a threat is bravery. Moral courage is integrity and righteousness – sticking to our values and beliefs regardless of social disapproval. It’s the perseverance to continue when we must contend with challenging circumstances.

Courage is seen in the women who spoke out against sexual harassment in a field where male power dominates, and suffered loss of jobs and image. It’s talking to your boss or quitting your job when the company’s strategies conflict with your own values. Everyday life presents a myriad of situations where your courage, or lack of it, will be put to the test.

Overcoming Challenges to Meditation

Meditation

Meditation has its own peculiar challenges, not least of which are the obstacles you encounter going into meditating. Some meditation challenges are tougher to overcome than minor distractions, like the noise outside or thoughts inside your head. They are physical, emotional and mental factors that impede your progress in this spiritual discipline.

If you want to start a regular meditation practice, or are already into it but you feel like quitting, it helps to familiarize yourself with these challenges and obstacles. Knowing what they are is arming yourself with the weapons to overcome them, and reaping the good things that come with daily meditation routine.

5 Meditation challenges and how to overcome them

1. Attachment to the trappings of wealth and fame

An obsessive attachment to possessions, events, and relationships makes you lose the focus that meditation requires. A materialistic mindset is constantly seeking the temporary happiness that the flesh desires, such as fame, wealth, good food, luxury things, and carnal pleasures. It’s one of the meditation challenges that presents difficulty because meditation calls for concentration, clearing the mind of thoughts and surrendering to silence and stillness.

To overcome thoughts and feelings of worldly attachment, you must first accept that it exists, recognize its transitory nature and experience it fully, then banish it from your mind. Conquering your attachment even if only for the time you are in meditation will allow you to go into contemplation, bring you calm and serenity.

2. Negative emotions

Anger, hatred, envy and resentment – all these lead to bitterness. These destructive feelings are directed at people who have hurt you and caused you pain, and you have a burning desire to hurt them back. It’s ironic that in wanting to hurt others, you are hurting yourself more because being angry and envious makes you unhappy, frustrated and bitter. When you meditate in this state of mind, your focus wanders to thoughts of revenge and retaliation, and you have difficulty reining in your brain processes to go back to stillness and silence.

Conquer your hostile feelings by being compassionate and empathetic. Buddhist monk Ajahn Brahmavamso says loving kindness is a way to overcome this obstacle. Loving kindness helps you see the good in the person who has hurt you, helps you understand the story behind their ill will, and enables you to set aside your own resentment and anger, stripping them of the power to hurt you more.

3. Lethargy and sloth

Lethargy as a meditation challenge is both physical and mental, characterized by the body and mind’s unusual lack of energy to do the practice. It can be caused by the feeling that meditating is not doing anything good to you, or by other problems that on its face seem insurmountable. You feel dispirited and lose your enthusiasm to meditate.

You can beat lethargy by looking at meditation from a fresh angle. One is to be patient and not expect instant changes in your life from your meditation practice. The calm and inner peace you seek comes to you in a quiet and subtle manner, so that you may not even notice you already have it. Develop the passion and motivation to meditate and acknowledge the well-being it brings to you.

4. Restlessness of the mind

The mind becomes restless when you give in to the clamor for attention from earthly concerns. The demands from work and the daily activities of living compete to be noticed by you. It’s a struggle to meditate when your mind keeps wandering and worrying. You lose your focus when your thoughts stray, and it takes effort to bring you back to the present. A restless and preoccupied mind brings about stress and anxiety.

When you catch yourself reminiscing or making plans, simply stop and listen to your breathing. Appreciate and be grateful for the simple joys. Contentment helps you get rid of your fault-finding tendencies, which contributes to an agitated state. Meditation quiets the restless mind. These attributes will let you see things more clearly and help control your worries and restlessness.

5. Doubt, skepticism, lack of trust

You’re unsure about your ability to successfully meditate. You are stuck in analyzing the methods of meditating. You’re skeptical of its benefits, or you’re too jaded to believe that meditation can bring you into a tranquil state. All these questions and uncertainties are meditation challenges that hinder you from maintaining the practice of meditation.

Instead of trying to achieve perfection in the meditation techniques or anticipating the benefits that the discipline gives, put your trust in simplicity, silence and stillness. Meditation doesn’t need goals. It only needs your awareness of the present, and the benefits will follow without fail.

How Cycling Can Help People with ADHD Gain Control Over Their Condition

Body, Mental Health, Mind

Mental health comes in many forms. For some, the simple act of taking medication and watching how they behave is enough to manage symptoms of a variety of conditions that can prove disruptive to daily routines. For others, relief requires more than medication. Be it a change in diet or radically altered daily activities, those who deal with ADHD on a day to day basis might find solace in a bit of help from exercise in the form of cycling. [Read more…] about How Cycling Can Help People with ADHD Gain Control Over Their Condition

Originally posted on June 21, 2018 @ 9:00 am

Easy Steps You Can Take for a Healthier Lifestyle

Body, Mind

One of the most important – yet often overlooked – aspects in life are your physical and mental wellbeing. It’s crucial to keep yourself healthy, well-fed and properly rested every day to make sure your body and mind are at their peak. There are many things that can cause stress every day: poor diet, lack of physical activity, long work days or even triggers such as loud noises or irritating coworkers.

These issues can build up to cause heart problems, anxiety and poor health later in life. And while there are tons of ways to stay fit and healthy, it often comes down, “Where do I begin?” Try focusing your efforts on a few simple tasks: sometimes all it takes is a helpful mobile app, a tweak of your diet and a few more physical activities to make a difference. Take a look at these ideas to make this year healthier and happier.
[Read more…] about Easy Steps You Can Take for a Healthier Lifestyle

Originally posted on June 18, 2018 @ 9:22 am