Relationships

Relationship problems come in all shapes and sizes, and truth be told, there isn’t any single “cure” to these. The best a couple can do is to work things out from both ends.

While there may be a plethora of issues couples face, here are some of the most common relationship problems and possible solutions, in no particular order.

Most common relationship problems

Lack of communication

[tweetthis url=”https://www.thedailymind.com/deeper-thinking/5-most-common-relationship-problems-and-how-to-solve-them/”]“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.” ~Henry Winkler[/tweetthis]

This is perhaps at the core of most common relationship problems. For one reason or another, a couple may be unable to talk things out. One may think that the other should know what he/she is thinking or expecting, all the while the other partner is totally clueless.

Another matter that falls under this is when one partner stonewalls the other, that is, he/she retracts into a shell and does not express his/her thoughts. With this attitude – conscious or not – couples will not be able to understand each other, leading to a bigger wedge in the relationship

SOLUTION: Make an effort to share your thoughts even if it’s not your personality. Don’t assume that your partner knows what you’re thinking, and don’t assume you know what your partner is thinking. Ask outright. Say your thoughts verbally.

Wrong way of communicating

While you may be communicating with each other, if the manner by which you do so is not right, then it is not helping at all. There are two things to consider.

Criticism. It is easy to point out each others flaws, even if the intention may be good. This may come across as criticism, and that is not always constructive.

Defensiveness. As a response to criticism, some people naturally put up their defenses. They respond in a negative manner, defending their case adamantly without realizing that perhaps, the criticism was meant to be constructive.

SOLUTION: Start out by making it clear that you are not criticizing your partner. Choose your words carefully. For example, instead of saying “You always stay too late at the office. It’s not helping our relationship,” you can say “I noticed that you have been working long hours. Is everything okay at work?” Then you can express how it makes you feel and present possible solutions to the problem.

Finances

For some people, finances is never an issue. They share their resources and even rely on a joint account. For many, though, finances is a huge matter. This is especially true when one partner earns more than the other. It’s even worse when one partner is not responsible when it comes to money.

This can result in resentment, which builds up if not dealt with early on. If financial disagreement becomes worse, it can result in breaking up the relationship.

SOLUTION: Go back to the first problem – communication. If you’re facing money stress in your relationship, here is a good resource on how to talk to your partner about it: Money Stress: How to Talk to Your Husband, Wife or Partner About Money.

Life stages

We all go through different life stages, and even couples who may have the strongest bond and a lot of common interests may find themselves at different stages at some point. When this happens, a couple may drift apart and find themselves feeling disconnected, not content, and wondering why they are still in the relationship.

SOLUTION: Think about yourself and what stage in life you are in. What do you want? What are your goals, and how do you mean to achieve them? Then think about your partner. What does he manifest in this regard?

Don’t stop there. Set aside time to talk about what you’re both going through and how you can make adjustments to accommodate each others’ needs at this stage in your lives. Be open. Be ready to make concessions.

Infidelity

This may very well be the deal breaker for most couples. That doesn’t mean, however, that there are couples who haven’t been able to get past through a traumatic experience such as infidelity.

SOLUTION: First, decide for yourself if you can accept and forgive your partner’s infidelity. Or, if you were the one who cheated, decide if you want to continue with the relationship. If the answer is no, then sad to say, but it is better for both of you to part ways.

Second, know why you want to continue.

Third, talk about everything – no holds barred. Together, discuss what happened, together with the points mentioned above.

If you’re both determined to keep the relationship going, you’ll be part of that percentage of couples who get past infidelity.

Note: If this happens several times, my personal opinion is to get out of it.

What other common relationship problems have you experienced? What did you do to solve them?

You might also find this useful:

How to Handle Difficult Conversations with Your Partner

Originally posted on May 19, 2015 @ 8:00 am