Healthy boundaries in your relationship are the limits you set on what is and is not acceptable behavior from your partner. They pave the way to mutual respect, understanding, support, and caring – essential elements for strong and enduring love. On the other hand, weak or nonexistent boundaries open you up to exploitation, abuse, hurt, and a damaged self-esteem. [Read more…] about Healthy Boundaries You Should Set in Your Relationship
In a relationship, could you be confusing commitment with attachment? You’re proud of your commitment to your partner. So you don’t bail out when they’re abusive or unfaithful. You change your usual behavior and keep silent on your opinions so as not to anger them. You know in your heart that the relationship couldn’t have lasted this long if you were not committed. [Read more…] about Commitment Or Attachment in a Relationship: Don’t Confuse One With The Other
There is an art to emotional detachment in a relationship to make it work for you. On the one hand, when you constantly tune out your partner during a conflict, you’re slowly chipping away at the ties that bind your relationship, and you’re caught unawares when it finally crumbles like a sand castle. Then again, emotional detachment can save you from unwelcome afflictive emotions, such as anger, hatred, envy and fear, because you are able to set boundaries, and step back and disconnect, thereby maintaining your calm and objectivity. [Read more…] about Emotional Detachment in a Relationship: How to Make It Work for You
Divorce is one of the ugly realities of life. The pain and anguish are intense even for the one initiating it, more so if the split is contentious and involves property and child issues or infidelity. It is also a complicated litigation process. Emotions are high and the battle for child support and custody, and division of assets is mentally draining. Then there is the anxiety of facing life alone again and wondering if you can adapt to the changes in financial and social circumstances. [Read more…] about 5 Ways to Rebuild your Life and Be Happy Post-Divorce
This article is primarily for women, as studies show that the female species are more inclined to take on prosocial behavior (selflessness) than men. In relationships with your partner, parents and friends, do you feel that you are giving too much of yourself? [Read more…] about Are You Giving Too Much of Yourself in Your Relationships?
Online dating has become a widespread activity among men and women. But just like in the traditional dating styles, there are principles of behavior to live by, if you want to find a decent partner worthy of your love and respect.
Men, especially, are not very mindful of how they present themselves to women and repeat the same actions that turn off the opposite sex. Women, on the other hand, have become more discerning and can filter out the misfits and creeps among the lot.
Mindfulness in online dating sounds contradictory. The goal of finding someone you can hit it off with lead to people lying about their physical attributes, skills, interests and a lot more. Here are tips for men to practice mindfulness when you sign up in the real dating sites.
Create a mindful online dating profile.
Be honest when creating your profile. You want to have a profile that will stand out without laying every bit of information on the internet. Make your profile interesting to catch the right kind of attention and women. But be mindful of your online security and don’t reveal too much about yourself that could put you at risk.
Keep your description truthful and specific, and avoid the clichés. When you show your hobbies and interests in a forthright but appealing manner, you will invite the right connection and retain enough mystery to hold their curiosity.
Upload some pictures of yourself. Professor of Psychology Benjamin Le of Haverford College agrees that physical attraction is important for a potential relationship to move to the next level. And with online dating, that primary attraction starts with pictures.
A too common mistake for both sexes is posting photos of themselves in their much younger years, minus the beer bellies and wrinkles that are now conspicuous in person. Or pictures that have been photoshopped to the point of being unrecognizable from the real you.
Don’t overcrowd your account with too many pictures of yourself in different poses, attires and occasions. It will give out the impression of superficiality and shallowness. A few good quality images should be sufficient to give women a peek into your personality. Avoid pictures that show you half-clad, unless you’re really a model for men’s underwear. Mindfulness is depth of character and does not unduly depend on physical attributes.
Be friendly without being overly familiar.
Be nice but don’t cross the line. In online or traditional dating, being friendly puts the other person at ease. But overdoing it can be irritating. Listen to her with genuine interest. She is talking to a complete stranger she hasn’t met face to face.
Say something nice about her profile and ask about things that she has already mentioned, like her hobbies. If she likes books, ask her about her favorite authors. Or certain foods if she’s into culinary arts. Don’t probe into her personal life unless she opens up first, as it could be unsettling and make her uncomfortable. Strike a balance by showing sincere interest but not prying too deeply.
If she asks about you, take the time to form an answer that won’t make you come out as a know-it-all. Be humble. Have a sense of humor but don’t make fun of anything at her expense.
If you sign up on a dating site in USA, imagine going into a bar and striking up a conversation with a random person. The same rules of behavior apply. Mindfulness in online dating is being aware of the other person, listening to what she’s saying and understanding her. Instead of trying to think up smart and witty things to say, focus on her and be authentic about it.
Follow these tips and you will find that online dating done properly can lead to a lasting and happy relationship.