Meditation – Page 5

The Excuses Culture: Why We Protect Ourselves With Excuses

He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. – Benjamin Franklin

When was the last time you made a resolve to achieve something, set a deadline and then achieved it? Can you even remember the last time? I’m struggling. And the reason I am struggling to remember such a time is because of excuses. I make them for everything; consciously and unconsciously. Without noticing it, excuses have become a habit that I am struggling to shake.

In this post I want to talk about the excuses culture that we have develop within ourselves and why we use excuses to protect ourselves from feelings of failure and fear. Hopefully it will spur some readers out there into action.

Why we make excuses

exc

Photo credit: Franzi in der Wiese

A few years ago I was sitting in the car with a friend of mine having a conversation (argument) about how I always seem to find a way out of things. At the end of the debate he said something that has stayed at the front of my mind, something that I think about whenever I am feeling like making an excuse. He said:

“You have always found things easy. You are good at everything. But you aren’t great at anything because you make excuses. You would rather be the ‘potential’ to be great than actually try and fail. And that is sad.”

He was right. All my life I have been naturally gifted at sport and academics. I didn’t have to work hard to get good. But I never really excelled at anything. I never worked really hard to become great at a certain activity. Why? Because I was afraid of failure. I was afraid of trying and not getting there.

My parents role in this habit
I never blame my parents for anything in my life. I simply do not feel like it is a productive exercise. But I can see how certain things they did impacted the way I turned out. And one of those things was how my mother always told me how amazing I could be. She would constantly tell me how smart I was, how good at soccer I was and how I could become something truly special.

But rather than spurring me on to excellence it seemed to do the opposite. I was comfortable being the potential for greatness. I was afraid to actually give it a shot for fear that I wasn’t actually as smart, talented and athletic as she thought. So I made excuses. Excuses so I wouldn’t have to try.

And we all do it. All the time.

Fear: the reason for most excuses
So why do we make excuses? Why do we find ways to get out of things? Well, for the most part, it is because we are afraid. We are afraid of trying and we are afraid of failing. We are afraid of change and we will do anything to keep the norm functioning. Fear is the reason most of us make excuses.

If you look deep into your own mind and your own behavior you will see that you make excuses to protect your sense of self. We spend our whole lives developing and ego and decorating it with friends and family and money and success and we will do anything to protect our concept of that self. Even if it makes us depressed and unfulfilled. And ultimately that is what excuses do, they make you feel unfulfilled.

How to stop making excuses and move forward

Stretch it Out!
photo credit: Triphamr

People say that the hardest thing you will ever do is quit smoking. But quitting excuses is 10 times harder. Excuses are the reason you started smoking, drinking and eating bad food. You make an excuse not to be healthy and an excuse not to be happy. Breaking the excuse culture is damn hard work. Here are some things you can do.

1. Realize that you do it all the time
As always, you need to take a look at yourself and really truly realize that you make mistakes. Find concrete examples of where you have sabotaged your progress by making an excuse and remember that incident. Bring it to mind whenever you feel like doing it again.

2. Look at your (lack of) progress
Take a look at how much progress you have made with your meditation, athletics, mortgage repayments or family weekend time. See how many excuses you have made and how that has affected your progress is a very real way. Until you can see that it is doing damage you will have no real impetus to stop.

3. Realize that death is coming
People always send me emails saying that I am too depressing when I talk about death. I always reply saying “it is depressing not to talk about it”. For too long our species has made death a taboo subject when, in fact, it is the only thing in life that is certain. Understand that death is coming and that you have no time for excuses. Not any. Its too hot, too cold, too nice inside, I’m too tired, I have a headache… all of those sound like absolute bullshit when you are on your deathbed looking back at what you didn’t achieve.

4. Realize you do it out of fear
If you go up to a fat man in the street and tell him that he is a coward he will probably punch you in the face. Men don’t like to be considered afraid, but that is exactly what we are. We make excuses because we are afraid. Why, then, do we still do it? If someone told us that we were afraid of something else we would do everything in our power to change and prove that we are brave. Do that now with excuses. Prove that you are not afraid of failure, change or losing the norm.

5. Be different in five years time
How different are you now to five years ago? Are you more loving, compassionate, patient, strong, rich, happy, thin, etc.? Take a look at whatever goal you have in your life and see how much closer you are to it now than you were five years ago. If you can say you are happy with your progress then chances are you don’t have a problem with excuses. If you are almost exactly the same then you can bet your right eye on the fact that you are stagnant because you are sabotaging your progress by saying “its too hard” or “its too cold outside”. Be different in five years time and stop making excuses.

Do you make excuses?

I would love to know how many of my readers consider themselves to be excuse makers. What kind of excuses do you come up with and how (if at all) have you dealt with them? Have your excuses held you back from being all that you can be? And how have you felt the weight of this “potential” slowing you down in life? Is it easier to not try?

Originally posted on September 27, 2009 @ 3:43 am

Matters of the Mind: A Look into the Psychology of Meditation

Meditation

This is a guest post by Psychology student Brittany Miller from Rose Tinted Glass.

You’ve heard the popular mantra, you’ve seen the forms and know the behavior. It’s even prominent in the popular movie series Star Wars. Meditation is a mental discipline in which one “thinks” his or her way to a deep, relaxed state of awareness. How do we generate inner-peace through use of our own mind? Every day, your mind processes a barrage of emotions, visual images, memories, and more. Overcoming that internal chatter is hard, but when you meditate, you teach your mind to narrow its concentration to one thing, limiting the stimulation to your nervous system.

There are many ways to meditate, but they all strive for the same goal: Relaxation.

Since mediation is a mental discipline, one has to wonder: what exactly changes in the brain of a long-time meditator? Psychology is the study of mental processes and behavior, and by applying a psychological perspective, I want to find out why meditation works so well as a simple stress reducer.

Physiological Psychology: What changes in the brain?

This subdivision of psychology studies the mechanisms of the brain and their relation to one’s behaviors and perception. I’ve done some research and listed a few important findings on what meditation accomplishes within the brain of a meditator.

Though your mind is focused, some activities inside your brain go unchecked. In EEG (electroencephalograph) studies, brainwaves of different frequencies are measured, and many found an increase in these following brainwaves:

Alpha Waves: Healthy alpha wave production supports mental resourcefulness, better mental coordination, and improves the general sense of relaxation and weariness. Many believe alpha waves are the bridges between consciousness and unconsciousness. Meditation synchronizes alpha activity between the four regions of the brain: left, right, anterior, and posterior, which positively correlates with creativity.

Theta Waves: Theta waves come in strong bursts in long-term meditators who report a peaceful, drifting, and pleasant experience at the time. These waves enhance creativity, intuition, and daydreaming. It is also a storage area for memories, emotions, and sensations. Theta waves are strong during any sort of spiritual focus and they reflect the state between wakefulness and sleep.

Beta Waves: When the EEG shows bursts of Beta waves, experienced meditators report an approach of yogic ecstasy or a state of intense concentration sometimes accompanied by an acceleration of heart rate. Beta waves can increase mental ability, focus, and alertness.

Meditation in Relation to Brain Hemispheres

Meditation seems to give us slight control of specific brain functions as well. We have two hemispheres to our brain each with different predominant functions: left (language/math/logic) and right (spatial abilities/face recognition/visual imagery/music).

Some studies show control of brain functions the importance of the right hemisphere during meditation:

Bennett and Trinder (1977) reported that transcendental meditators could shift brain activity
Davidson (1976) reported that, during mystical experience, the right hemisphere dominates cerebral function.

One study concluded that meditation might begin with activity in the left hemisphere, which then gives way to functioning characteristics of the right hemisphere. Another study suggests that meditation may inhibit the left hemisphere, shifting the focus of consciousness to the right hemisphere.

In conclusion, the right hemisphere (being synthetic and holistic) seems to be dominant in meditation. Both left and right hemisphere activities are slightly repressed in advanced meditation, however. These findings are evidence that meditation does indeed narrow focus in the brain and can even transcend a meditator to an even clearer mind by repressing both hemispheres.

“Self-awareness is the path to self-mastery; self-mastery is the way to happiness.”
-Unknown

Meditation vs. Frustration

The best way to notice the benefits of meditation is to take a close look at the behaviors and health of meditators versus non-meditators. A study by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn of the University of Massachusetts Medical School recorded the brain waves of stressed-out employees working in a high-tech firm in Wisconsin. The subjects were divided into two groups: 25 subjects were asked to learn meditation over eight weeks and the remaining 16 were left as a control group.
All participants had their brain waves scanned three times during the study: once at the beginning, once after eight weeks when the 25 subjects completed their meditation course, and once four months afterward.

The results?

The meditation group showed a shift in activity to the left frontal lobe. People with more activity in the left frontal cortex than in the right tend to have a cheerful temperament. These people tend to have a more positive disposition and are more willing to interact with people and be content with their lives.

Those with more activity in the right frontal area of the brain hesitate during encounters with people or situations and stress out over the smallest of situations.

Those who meditate and are happy are healthier on all levels and their brains are free to process information and solve problems more creatively. Meditation clears out the insignificant junk in your mind and boosts its performance.

There are many other effects of meditation from which a stressed out high-tech firm employee would benefit:

Regulates heart rate, breathing, cholesterol, and blood pressure
Increases creativity
Reduces tension, anxiety, and stress
Less activity in the amygdala where the brain processes fear
Clears state of mind and makes it easier to kick addictions and self-defeating behaviors
Greater intimacy with friends and family members
Over-all positive emotions and state of mind
Increases power of awareness by developing concentration on a particular object
Investigate your inner self and question and contemplate the nature of existence itself

Go out and explore for yourself!

These are just a few aspects in which meditation can shape your life, but there are so much more. The mind is a powerful tool and mechanism with thousands of undiscovered talents and processes. Feel free to explore the inner workings of your mind, strive towards improving it for the better, and treat it well. Meditating gives your mind a healthy refreshing, just what it needs to keep you and your outlook healthy and positive.

Originally posted on January 5, 2009 @ 12:52 am

How to Make a Cheap Fish Pond for Meditation and Good Feng Shui

Home, Life, Meditation, Mind

To me there is nothing more relaxing than a nice pond with trickling water and fish swimming about. Ever since I was very little I have found great pleasure in sitting by a lake or river for a few minutes of relaxing meditation. Recently I also discovered that a fish pond is great for Feng Shui. The Chinese even believe a pond by your front door can bring great wealth and success to the household.

A few weeks ago I set up my own very cheap fish pond complete with a solar powered water fountain. It is really quite sharp! In this post I will show you how to make a beautiful fish pond for around $100. It will take about an hour to set up but you will be extremely glad you took the time to do it.

What is Feng Shui?

I am not normally into Feng Shui but lately I have become a little more interested in it. As you know I have started my own business and when you are out on your own trying to earn money you will take any help you can get. And when I heard that certain Feng Shui activities could help to improve my financial situation I thought I would give it a whirl.

Now Feng Shui is an art that originated in China and is all about using positive energies in your home or office to bring about certain outcomes. Many people think the whole thing is baloney but the more I look at it the more I can see there is some wisdom behind its practices.

For example, Feng Shui tells us that you should have pictures of running water, good crops and symbols of money on your work desk. This makes sense because they all act as mental ques for you and help to get you in the “money making zone”. You wouldn’t really want pictures of death and destruction in your workplace would you?

There are Feng Shui tips for money, health, a good sex life, love, spirituality, etc. Depending on your level of interest you can rework your whole house to be Feng Shui ready or just change a few positive items in a room. The hard thing about Feng Shui is that it is different for the Northern and Southern Hemisphere and there are different lines of thinking. For example, some schools work around magnetic North while other school believe North indicates the main entrance of your home (even if it faces another direction). So if a Feng Shui website tells you that the wealth section of your home is in the East you better make sure you know which way East really is!

Feng Shui, millionaires and fish ponds

I recently read an article about a whole pile of Asian millionaires who believed that a beautiful flowing water fish pond at the front of their businesses and homes was a big factor in their level of success. There was even a story about a Malaysian hotel (maybe the Hilton?) which was about to go bankrupt and in a last ditch effort to save the joint the owner built an elaborate fish pond at the entrance.

They are now the most popular hotel in the region.

If you think this is all hocus pocus I don’t blame you. It does sound very new-age. But, as I said earlier, when you start your own business you want all the help you can get. And seeing as we are in a big financial crisis right now maybe we all need a little more positive Feng Shui in our lives!

Fish ponds and relaxing meditation

Let’s put all this Feng Shui stuff aside for a moment and talk about creating a relaxing outdoor area for your meditation practice. A fish pond with trickling water is one of the best ways to turn a boring area into a place that is alive, inspiring and extremely relaxing.

Everyone these days is struggling with stress. We go to work and then come home tight bundles of anxiety. But a flowing fish pond can really help this. It has helped me. Every time I feel an attack of the stresses coming on I make myself a cup of tea and head out to sit by the fish pond. The sound of the flowing water alone is enough to calm me down and leave me feeling relaxed and rejuvenated.

The fish pond I built cost around $250 but you could do it for much less. It is a small price to pay in order to have an area in your house that can act as a mini retreat center – peaceful, calm and beautiful – especially if you live in the middle of a busy city.

How to make a cheap fish pond for meditation and wealth

In order to maximize the Feng Shui related benefits of a fish pond it should be placed directly in front of the main entrance of your house. Now, your main entrance is the one you use the most often, not necessarily the front door. So, if you park the car out the front and then walk around the side gate entrance to come inside then that is your main entrance and that is where the pond should be placed.

The water also needs to be flowing. A Feng Shui teacher once told me that stagnant water is a very bad thing to have for creating wealth so make sure your pond is moving. As I said, I have a neat little solar powered water fountain in mine. Costs me $0 to run and works a treat.

Here is how I built my cheap fish pond. If anyone knows a better way feel free to leave a comment and let us know.

1. Get a cheap wine barrel or water tight pot

My fish tank from IKEA

The cheapest way to make a fish pond is to use an item like a wine barrel or a giant pot. I found a fantastic iron plant pot at IKEA which is about a four feet high and cost me $40. It is completely water tight and looks pretty nice.

You can go the whole nine yards and dig up an area, cover it in black plastic and then put rocks all around the outside but I didn’t have the time or the room. I needed something simple and portable and the IKEA pot worked perfectly.

A special note here – make sure the pot is fish-friendly. Many people use bathtubs (which look great) but for some reason the fish always die. They also don’t like zinc, lead or some plastics so make sure you read up on the material before you buy it. My tank is made of iron and the fish have been happy in there for about a month so far.

2. Fill up the pot with water and leave it to de-chlorinate
The next step is to clean out the pot and fill it up with water. You need to leave the water in the pot for about a week before you add any fish. The reason for this is that our tap water has a lot of chlorine in it and you need to let that evaporate out before adding your scaly friends. If you rush this part of the process your fish will die within a few hours.

There are also some products that you can buy at a pet shop to make this process a little quicker. One is a water ager that helps make the water the right environment for the fish and one is a bacteria mix which puts a good level of healthy bacteria in the water so the fish feel like they are in their natural environment. I bought both of these for around $15 but I am not sure how essential they are.

3. Add some plants

You need to have plants in the fish tank as they take out carbon dioxide and help to oxygenate the water. The fish also eat some of the algae that grows on the plant and they often use the plants to hide from birds and other animals that might pluck them out and eat them.

I bought a simple long leafed water plant (you can see some of it above) and put it in an empty ice cream container filled with rocks and gravel. I then sank it down to the bottom of the tank and it has flourished – its now about four times as big as when I first got it. Simple, cheap and effective.

4. Select the right fish
If your tank is going to be outdoors and unheated you really only have a few options. You can’t have beautiful tropical fish like Angels and Discus, you can only have goldfish. And as far as outdoor goldfish go the best breed is called a Comet. They are very hardy, tough and can survive some pretty cold temperature.

Now here is the weird part. Feng Shui teachers assert that you have to have eight golfish – seven orange ones and one black one. Eight is a very auspicious number in China (the Olympics even started on the 8th of the 8th, 2008!) and having eight fish is seen as essential. The one black fish is supposed to act as the fall guy – Feng Shui states that he absorbs all the bad energy.

In my opinion it is cruel to have eight fish if you don’t have a big enough tank. If you are buying a massive wine barrel then eight should fit no problems, but any smaller and you might be cutting it a bit thin. Ask your pet shop owner about how much room they need in order to be happy and healthy.

5. Introduce the fish to the water
Now that you have your fish you can introduce them to the water. The best way to do this is to leave them inside the plastic bag and plop them in the fish tank. Don’t take them out of the plastic bag for about 20 minutes as this lets them acclimatize to the water slowly. If you just pour them straight out of the bag and into the water they often die due to shock from the change in temperature.

6. Set up your solar powered water fountain

I was lucky enough to get given a solar water fountain for Christmas so I saved about $150. I am pleased to report that the technology is excellent and as long as the solar panel (pictured above) is in full sun the water fountain works a treat. However, it is fine to use a normal electricity powered water fountain as long as you are prepared to pay a bit extra on your power bill. I highly recommend the solar version as it will save you lots of money over the long run.

It is pretty simple technology. The solar panel sends power down a long chord which spins a little propeller inside the fountain itself. The whole thing is waterproof which means you can have chords going under water as you can see in some of the photos above.

Ideally you would mount the solar panel on your roof but I am unable to as the possums in my area seem to really like electricity chords! At the moment it is just on the ground but I will think of a better solution soon.

The best way to set up the water fountain itself is to jam it in between some nice rocks in the water. I used some broken bricks that were lying around my backyard and it works (and looks) fine. Just make sure you clean the rocks before you put them in and be careful to leave your fish enough swimming room.

7. Feed your fish
The only other thing you need to do is feed your fish occasionally. They do not need to be fed very often as they get a lot of bugs and algae from the pond already. There is a great saying, “a hungry fish is a happy fish” and I think it is quite true. Make sure your only feed your fish a tiny pinch every day or even every second day. That is all they need.

Conclusion

That’s it! Now you have your very own fish pond meditation sanctuary. If anyone gets around to doing this I would love to see some photos of what you create. And, if you make a lot of money maybe you could send me some! 🙂

Originally posted on December 23, 2008 @ 7:15 am

Mediation Masters, Secret Yogis and Enlightened Beings (Videos)

Learning, Meditation, Mind, Videos

Last week I showed you a video that contained rare footage of some of Tibet’s greatest meditation masters. Today I present you with the full series.

What’s in the videos?
In these videos you will see Tibet’s most famous meditation masters, its most secret yogis and its most enlightened beings. Anyone interested in meditation or spirituality will find the footage in these clips and the associated commentary truly amazing.

These videos are gifts. There is nothing else like them in existence. Many of these masters have passed away and this is the only footage we have of them.

I hope you will take some of your Saturday to sit back with a cup of tea and revel in the magic that is Tibet’s Tantric Yogis!

Originally posted on November 8, 2008 @ 4:36 am

9 Cheap Ways to Make Your Place Peaceful and Conducive to Meditation

Home, Life, Meditation, Mind, Mindfulness

photo credit: Eddi 07

Advanced yogis may be able to meditate in the midst of chaos and turmoil but we beginners need an environment that is peaceful and conducive to meditation. In this post I want to show you some cheap and easy ways to make your place a perfect venue for introspection, calmness and quiet practice.

9 Cheap ways to make your place peaceful and conducive to meditation

1. Use candle light
Candles are a traditional offering that originated in India. Candles were the main representation of light which is an offering that is made to your teacher or the Buddha as a symbol of the light of the teachings. When you offer a candle on your altar you make the aspiration that the light of peace and happiness spreads throughout the universe and that the light of compassion vanquishes the darkness of anger and hatred. They are a very nice way to calm your senses and the room.

2. Create more space
The great masters of the past recommended that beginners meditate in a place with lots of space. This could mean a hill, mountain or a valley where you can look out over a big view. In occurred to me recently that many people live in apartments with a view of the city or neighborhood. Sitting by your window would be an ideal place to meditate. Failing that, at least create some space in your room by removing clutter and mess.

3. Clean up
An old Buddhist teacher once told me that it was important to clean your room before every session of meditation. As I grow older I see the importance of this – the mind settles a lot easier in a neat and tidy room. Your eyes have less material to wander on to and you feel less anxious because you know you have done a small part of the house chores.

4. Get natural light
I really don’t like meditating in a room with fluorescent lights flickering away. It is much better to have some sun or the natural light of a candle. Again, I think this type of light is “warmer” and much more natural. A strong fluoro light will be distracting and harsh on the old eyes.

Originally posted on October 1, 2008 @ 5:23 am

Using Panic Attacks as Meditation

Meditation, Mental Health, Mind, Mindfulness

I want to show you a video by one of my buddhist teachers, Mingyur Rinpoche.

Rinpoche is a very high lama of the Tibetan Kagyu tradition; he has spent over ten years in isolated meditation retreat working with his mind. He is known worldwide as a great meditation master and has been recognized by the Dalai Lama as one of buddhism’s best teachers. I have spent some time with Rinpoche in India recieving teachings from him and I can attest to the fact that this man has something special going on. His presence is quite remarkable and he is funny, loud and very loving.

In this video he talks about how he used to be affected by panic attacks. He explains how to use these panic attacks as part of your meditation. Anyone who has read my ebook will have already seen this video but for the rest of you, enjoy!

Originally posted on September 1, 2008 @ 1:20 am