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kindness

Wonderful Examples of Kindness

Inspiration, Life, Spirit

Feeling stuck in life is normal for many. When you have been going through the same motions for what feels like an eternity, it can easily wear on you. While you might feel like you have tried everything to break away from routine, there are probably still countless options you have not yet considered.

In many cases, feeling better about your own life is all about taking a moment to see how you can make a difference in someone else’s life. Acts of kindness can get you far and most of them do not require much from you. [Read more…] about Wonderful Examples of Kindness

Originally posted on March 14, 2018 @ 11:00 am

How to Be Assertive Without Being Rude

Inspiration, Life, Personal Growth, Spirit

Assertiveness is a trait that is usually associated to Westerners. In other parts of the world, say, the East, this trait can be misunderstood as being abrasive, or even rude. It can be a cultural thing, or it can be a personality issue.

But no one should be a doormat just because one doesn’t want to risk offending others!

I am a non-confrontational person, and I am afraid this comes across lacking assertiveness, which is true to a certain degree. However, there are situations when being assertive is necessary.

On the other hand, there is a difference between assertiveness and rudeness (and/or abrasiveness).

In this article, let’s look at how to be assertive, thus avoid being a doormat, and yet not be rude.

Know your core principles.

Knowing who you are and what you believe in is essential in being able to assert yourself when others try to wear you down or bully you. If you yourself are not sure about your core principles, then how can you let others know what you stand for?

If, even right now, you cannot give answers as to what your core principles are, ask yourself some questions.

  • What matters most to me?
  • If I had several choices at the moment, which one would I instinctively choose?
  • What are the best moments of my life that I can think of off the top of my head?
  • What would I do if I knew I would die tomorrow?

Set clear boundaries.

Knowing your core principles clearly will lead to setting boundaries.

What are boundaries?

Simply put, boundaries are “rules” which you follow in life, saying what you will or won’t allow.

If you have difficulty saying no, override your needs to please others, or are bothered by someone who is demanding, controlling, criticizing, pushy, abusive, invasive, pleading, or even smothering you with kindness, it’s your responsibility to speak up. – Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT

By setting boundaries, you let others know what you will tolerate and what you won’t. This can be done verbally or through actions. It is best, however, to implement your boundaries so that other people fully understand them.

how to be assertive

 

For example, if you tell your superior that you don’t appreciate how he shouts at you in public and berates you for mistakes that you didn’t do, and that you will file an HR report if he doesn’t stop, then follow up with an action.

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

A critical element in being assertive and yet not being rude is to have a degree of understanding of the other party.

While you may not fully grasp what the other person’s situation is, the idea of being kind because you never know what he is going through always applies. Always.

Being assertive does not mean you have to shout your way to getting your point across. It doesn’t mean being condescending, insulting, or defensive. Choose your words carefully. Think before you speak. Watch your body language.

It boils down to one thing: being able to let other people know what you feel and think and that you stand by that.

Conclusion

It may be daunting to think you can stand up to your intimidating boss, your controlling mother, or your manipulative friends, but you can do it by taking small steps. Believe in yourself, and you’ll get there.

Another useful read: 6 Small Steps to Big Benefits for Self Improvement

Feature image via

Originally posted on August 21, 2015 @ 8:00 am

Summer Parenting Project: How to Teach Kindness to Kids

Family, Life

It’s summer time, and while the kids are jumping all over the place happily thinking of school-free days, parents are thinking about what to do.

There are the usual summer camps and vacations, but why not consider adding something to your summer activities? Take advantage of the fun and teach kindness to kids. Isn’t that an idea worth considering?

Here are some things you can do to teach kindness to kids.

Set an example.

[tweetthis url=”https://www.thedailymind.com/how-to/summer-parenting-project-how-to-teach-kindness-to-kids/”]“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” – Lao Tzu[/tweetthis]

Children learn best by example, and they are more perceptive than we adults may sometimes think. What they see from our behavior, they imbibe and carry on to adulthood. This summer, pay more attention to how you treat people around you – from family members to friends to the grocery cashier to strangers. And, I think it goes without saying that this should be practiced not only this summer but every day.

Explain the concept of kindness.

While children learn by observing their parents, it is also important for them to understand the underlying concept. You can do this by talking to them about the idea of kindness.

What is kindness? What does it mean? Why is it important?

If you need some help, you can read some research articles that can give you an idea on how to explain kindness to kids. Here is another useful read.

Plan activities to apply kindness.

teach kindness to kids

Source

Here are some things you can do to teach kindness to kids and have fun while at it.

Tip: make sure you turn these activities into learning moments.

  1. Go to the playground, and ask your kids to remember to practice kindness. You can then talk about their behavior after. Praise them for the good that they did, and make suggestions – in a positive way – what they could do better. Be as specific as possible.
  2. Go to a public place like the zoo, beach, or park and pick up trash you see. This is a way of teaching the kids respect for the environment and people as well.
  3. Drive the point home by going to a recycling center! Make a family trip and have some treats after.
  4. Give food to people who live in the streets. Just make sure it’s a safe area.
  5. Alternatively, if you have elderly neighbors who live alone, encourage your kids to talk to them. They can start by saying hi, and visiting (with you). Occasionally bring flowers and food as gifts – always with the children involved.
  6. Ask your kids to pick out toys and clothes that they don’t use. Take them to a place that accepts donations.
  7. If you’re visiting a friend who is sick or needs help in any way, involve your kids if appropriate. If you’re baking a cake or a casserole to take with you, ask the kids to help.

Your turn.

What activities are you planning for the summer? Have you thought about imparting an attitude of kindness to your children? What other ideas would you add to the list above?

Here’s another useful article on kindness: The Power of Kindness

Originally posted on July 11, 2015 @ 2:00 am

14 Ways to Make Someone Smile Any Time

Life, Mental Health

Have you ever had those days when you just feel like the world is

1. Take the first step: smile first. As they say, smile and the world smiles with you. Even better, smile at a stranger. You never know what a person is going through. Your smile might very well make the difference between a horrible day and a great one.
2. Hold the door open for the person behind you. Simple courtesy is taken for granted a lot these days, and being at the receiving end is sure to make one smile.
3. Say thank you to people who are part of your day but you may not know – to the traffic enforcer who helped you cross the street. To the doorman in your building. To the lady manning the elevator. Oh, and say it with a sincere smile.
4. Say thank you to a co-worker, to your boss, to a friend, or to a family member. It doesn’t have to be about something in particular. Just let them know you appreciate them.
5. Bring food to work, and share it with your colleagues. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. The gesture is what counts, and the fact that you can all spend some down time together.
6. Invite someone out to lunch or coffee. Especially if you know the person could use a shoulder.
7. Help a stranger. For example, if you see a mother struggling with her kids, bags, and everything a mom carries around, offer your help. Help an elderly person cross the street.
8. Buy someone at the bar a drink. While this has the potential to be misconstrued, use your judgement. If you spot someone who looks like he/she could use a break, send a drink their way.
9. Give up your seat in the bus or subway. Sometimes I think that people who do this voluntarily is a rare and dying breed. Prove me wrong. Give up your seat without hesitation if you see that another person could use the seat more than you do.
10. Buy a stranger coffee. While waiting in line for coffee, buy someone a cup of coffee.
11. Give food to the homeless. Depending on where you live/work, you’re bound to pass by a homeless person every day. Instead of merely walking by, prepare some food or buy something from the deli and give hand it over.
12. Give a generous tip. You may tip regularly, but once in a while, splurge a little. Especially if you see that your server looks like he/she needs a pick-me-upper.
13. Compliment someone. Say something genuinely nice about someone’s hair, clothes, or even socks.
14. Take a silly photo of yourself and send it to a friend or loved one. Selfie syndrome aside, a little silliness is good for the heart.

It doesn’t take much to make people smile – strangers and friends alike. All you really need is to be genuine, and you can be the source of a smile epidemic. 😉

Lessons From India 4: The Importance of a Smile

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Originally posted on March 11, 2015 @ 1:00 pm

4 Ways to Celebrate Christmas Differently

Family, Life

The Christmas fever can hardly be ignored, with every commercial establishment playing Christmas songs and flaunting decor all over the place. From Santa to fake snow to Christmas sales – no one can escape the Christmas “spirit”.

But what does Christmas really mean to you? What do you do during this period?

For many, Christmas is the time to get together with family to reconnect over a special meal. There are also the numerous Christmas parties people go to, whether for business or social purposes. With these traditions come gift-giving, the idea of being generous to one another.

While Christmas is traditionally considered a religious holiday, over time, it has taken on a secular aspect as well. Yet no matter how you approach Christmas, you probably have your own traditional activities to celebrate the season.

My challenge to you is to celebrate Christmas differently this year.

Volunteer

celebrate christmas differently
There are many charities that need volunteers during this period. While the idea that suicide rates go up during Christmas has been debunked, there is still proof that there is such a thing as holiday depression. Whether you are the one experiencing this, or you can help others who are in the throes of holiday depression, why not considering offering your time to a local charity? Try the Salvation Army for starters. You can also check your local hospitals and homes for the elderly if they need volunteers for the season.

Give gifts to the homeless

Chances are that you see at least one homeless person on your way to work. You might not have done anything for them all throughout the year, but this is your chance to make someone else’s day brighter.

Why not give that homeless person a gift for Christmas? It doesn’t have to be an expensive one. A Christmas package, a winter jacket, or even a take out meal would make a difference to that person. And you will also have the satisfaction of making another human being happy.

Encourage your children to donate to the less fortunate

If you have children, you’re probably up to your neck in Christmas gifts shopping lists. While you don’t have to deprive your kids of their Christmas gifts, why not help them become aware of the world outside and how they can help others?

One thing you can do is to encourage them to give away their toys and clothes to children who are in need. Ask them to pick out items that they don’t really use but are in good condition and help them wrap the gifts. You can choose to turn in the gifts to a charity or you can hand out the gifts yourself. This will be an enlightening learning experience for your children.

Spend time to reflect

celebrate christmas differently
Instead of spending two weeks on parties – and having hangovers every morning after – why not set aside time to reflect? Think about the past 11 months. What have you done? What have you achieved? What do you need to change in the coming months?

This is one commonly suggested activity during the end of the year, but why don’t you block a sizeable chunk of time during the Christmas season for reflection instead of merely an hour or so? You can even go to a retreat or any place where you can spend time in solitude. This will not only help you understand yourself better, but also help you focus for the year to come.

If you celebrate Christmas differently, it does not mean totally disregarding tradition. However, it may involve going out of your comfort zone, having new experiences, and learning new things.

Also read:

Kindness at Christmas

Originally posted on December 17, 2014 @ 8:30 am