Sticking out your neck for your friend in trouble or having their backs in their time of need is a true sign of friendship.
But offering your helping hand will do just fine as well.
If your friend is going through depression, divorce, loss, or others, then the best way to help them is by reaching out. A simple gesture that acknowledges that you are there for them is a testament to your friendship.
Below are examples of ways how you can lend your hand to your suffering friends.
Be there
It’s one thing to say that you’re there for your friend. It’s another to actually be there.
Cancel all your appointments and find a way to get to where your friend is. Travel light or book your flight and inform your friend when you will be arriving to meet him or her. Bring them something that gives comfort to your friend or makes them happy in an effort to cheer them up. Bringing them comfort food is the good place to start.
Listen
For your friends going through a divorce, it’s tempting to pass judgment on what they should have done as a couple. For that, they can just speak to a divorce lawyer. If you’re not one, don’t act as if you are by suggesting things that your friend should do.
Here’s the thing: it’s not always about giving advice that makes you a friend. Instead, just him or her do the talking and get off some steam. Let your friend express their emotions and allow them to process through it. Your role as a friend is to be the buffer and support in all of this. Hear them out with everything they have to say and only share your thoughts when asked by your friend.
Offer to do an errand
The saying, “If there’s anything I can do for you, let me know” applies here.
If there’s paperwork that needs to be filed or even children who need to be looked over in a day, be gracious enough to do this to your friend. Even offering to do menial tasks such as household chores can be of great help to them, given that most people don’t like cleaning.
If these tasks will bring a smile to your friend or help them lighten the burden they’re carrying, then unconditionally do these for him or her.
Be strong for them
Don’t let their grief affect you. As their support system, it is your duty to remain their rock in all of this. They will lean on you and the best thing you can do is not fall.
You can refer to these quotes about strength of the human will to not only inspire them with the challenge in front of them, but also yourself.
Treat them to something nice
Most grieving people are brought down a couple of notches due to the devastation brought by their loss. As as friend, you want to give a lending hand to bring them back to their normal self.
Doing something with your friend together can bring wonders. Going to bars, getting a massage therapy, going on a road trip, travelling abroad , or following these tips should help your friend get out of a funk.
Before doing these, it is important to talk your friend into doing these with you and your other friends. Don’t force him or her to do any of these things with you but make your friend understand the importance of this activities for his or her well-being.
At the end of the day, there’s so much you can ask from your suffering friend. But leading them to choose happiness and showing them that life is indeed beautiful despite everything is the best thing that you as a friend can do.
More on suffering friend:
How to Become More Patient With Friends, Enemies & Circumstances
Buddhist Work: Things I Learned About Work from my Tibetan Friends
Originally posted on February 24, 2015 @ 9:34 am