Online dating has become a widespread activity among men and women. But just like in the traditional dating styles, there are principles of behavior to live by, if you want to find a decent partner worthy of your love and respect.
Men, especially, are not very mindful of how they present themselves to women and repeat the same actions that turn off the opposite sex. Women, on the other hand, have become more discerning and can filter out the misfits and creeps among the lot.
Mindfulness in online dating sounds contradictory. The goal of finding someone you can hit it off with lead to people lying about their physical attributes, skills, interests and a lot more. Here are tips for men to practice mindfulness when you sign up in the real dating sites.
Create a mindful online dating profile.
Be honest when creating your profile. You want to have a profile that will stand out without laying every bit of information on the internet. Make your profile interesting to catch the right kind of attention and women. But be mindful of your online security and don’t reveal too much about yourself that could put you at risk.
Keep your description truthful and specific, and avoid the clichés. When you show your hobbies and interests in a forthright but appealing manner, you will invite the right connection and retain enough mystery to hold their curiosity.
Upload some pictures of yourself. Professor of Psychology Benjamin Le of Haverford College agrees that physical attraction is important for a potential relationship to move to the next level. And with online dating, that primary attraction starts with pictures.
A too common mistake for both sexes is posting photos of themselves in their much younger years, minus the beer bellies and wrinkles that are now conspicuous in person. Or pictures that have been photoshopped to the point of being unrecognizable from the real you.
Don’t overcrowd your account with too many pictures of yourself in different poses, attires and occasions. It will give out the impression of superficiality and shallowness. A few good quality images should be sufficient to give women a peek into your personality. Avoid pictures that show you half-clad, unless you’re really a model for men’s underwear. Mindfulness is depth of character and does not unduly depend on physical attributes.
Be friendly without being overly familiar.
Be nice but don’t cross the line. In online or traditional dating, being friendly puts the other person at ease. But overdoing it can be irritating. Listen to her with genuine interest. She is talking to a complete stranger she hasn’t met face to face.
Say something nice about her profile and ask about things that she has already mentioned, like her hobbies. If she likes books, ask her about her favorite authors. Or certain foods if she’s into culinary arts. Don’t probe into her personal life unless she opens up first, as it could be unsettling and make her uncomfortable. Strike a balance by showing sincere interest but not prying too deeply.
If she asks about you, take the time to form an answer that won’t make you come out as a know-it-all. Be humble. Have a sense of humor but don’t make fun of anything at her expense.
If you sign up on a dating site in USA, imagine going into a bar and striking up a conversation with a random person. The same rules of behavior apply. Mindfulness in online dating is being aware of the other person, listening to what she’s saying and understanding her. Instead of trying to think up smart and witty things to say, focus on her and be authentic about it.
Follow these tips and you will find that online dating done properly can lead to a lasting and happy relationship.
Related Reading
The Art of Meaningful Connection With Others
Originally posted on April 25, 2017 @ 12:15 pm
