Spirit – Page 17

5 Miracle Recoveries after Life-Threatening Accidents

You only need to peruse the CDC accident statistics to see that injuries are not just something that happens to other people. Each year millions of people fall victim to forces beyond their control and wind up in emergency rooms across the country. Sadly, these injuries are often life threatening, and at the very least they result in protracted periods of recovery. But while medical miracles can and do occur in this world, medical-billing miracles are a little harder to come by. Those who have found themselves the victim of an accident need vast reserves of cash in order to cover weeks, months, or even years of healthcare costs. And the best way to build this war chest and ensure the best chance for a miraculous recovery is with the help of professionals, such as those available at the Farar Law Group. Here are some examples of folks who made such recoveries. [Read more…] about 5 Miracle Recoveries after Life-Threatening Accidents

Originally posted on August 27, 2015 @ 10:00 am

How to Be Assertive Without Being Rude

Inspiration, Life, Personal Growth, Spirit

Assertiveness is a trait that is usually associated to Westerners. In other parts of the world, say, the East, this trait can be misunderstood as being abrasive, or even rude. It can be a cultural thing, or it can be a personality issue.

But no one should be a doormat just because one doesn’t want to risk offending others!

I am a non-confrontational person, and I am afraid this comes across lacking assertiveness, which is true to a certain degree. However, there are situations when being assertive is necessary.

On the other hand, there is a difference between assertiveness and rudeness (and/or abrasiveness).

In this article, let’s look at how to be assertive, thus avoid being a doormat, and yet not be rude.

Know your core principles.

Knowing who you are and what you believe in is essential in being able to assert yourself when others try to wear you down or bully you. If you yourself are not sure about your core principles, then how can you let others know what you stand for?

If, even right now, you cannot give answers as to what your core principles are, ask yourself some questions.

What matters most to me?
If I had several choices at the moment, which one would I instinctively choose?
What are the best moments of my life that I can think of off the top of my head?
What would I do if I knew I would die tomorrow?

Set clear boundaries.

Knowing your core principles clearly will lead to setting boundaries.

What are boundaries?

Simply put, boundaries are “rules” which you follow in life, saying what you will or won’t allow.

If you have difficulty saying no, override your needs to please others, or are bothered by someone who is demanding, controlling, criticizing, pushy, abusive, invasive, pleading, or even smothering you with kindness, it’s your responsibility to speak up. – Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT

By setting boundaries, you let others know what you will tolerate and what you won’t. This can be done verbally or through actions. It is best, however, to implement your boundaries so that other people fully understand them.

For example, if you tell your superior that you don’t appreciate how he shouts at you in public and berates you for mistakes that you didn’t do, and that you will file an HR report if he doesn’t stop, then follow up with an action.

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

A critical element in being assertive and yet not being rude is to have a degree of understanding of the other party.

While you may not fully grasp what the other person’s situation is, the idea of being kind because you never know what he is going through always applies. Always.

Being assertive does not mean you have to shout your way to getting your point across. It doesn’t mean being condescending, insulting, or defensive. Choose your words carefully. Think before you speak. Watch your body language.

It boils down to one thing: being able to let other people know what you feel and think and that you stand by that.

Conclusion

It may be daunting to think you can stand up to your intimidating boss, your controlling mother, or your manipulative friends, but you can do it by taking small steps. Believe in yourself, and you’ll get there.

Another useful read: 6 Small Steps to Big Benefits for Self Improvement

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Originally posted on August 21, 2015 @ 8:00 am

Making Decisions Following Buddhist Principles

Personal Growth, Spirit

Decision-making is one of the toughest things in life, albeit in varying degrees. Some people are decisive to the extent we think they were born that way – and perhaps they were. For some people, however, making a decision can be an excruciating process. Often, the process takes too long that a decision is not made at all.

Or, the power of decision is taken away.

[tweetthis url=”https://www.thedailymind.com/how-to/buddhist-decision-making/”]When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice. – William James, American philosopher and psychologist[/tweetthis]

Sit there and listen to the thoughts in the echo chamber that is your head, and you’ll end up not making a decision – with someone else (or life in general) making the decision for you.

Isn’t it better to be in control of a decision, being responsible for it, rather than being passive and just let life go by? I like what American writer and feminist Rita Mae Brown says about making a decision, no matter what it is.

[tweetthis url=”https://www.thedailymind.com/how-to/buddhist-decision-making/”]A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one. – Rita Mae Brown[/tweetthis]

But it’s easy to read these quotes. Actually having to go through the process of making a decision is still a different story. At least for me.

That being said, I’ve been trying to improve on this aspect. There are many ways to approach decision-making and learn how to make a choice within a reasonable amount of time. You can even go the business way by doing SWOT analysis, but what I find most interesting – and show most potential to be effective – is “Buddhist decision-making”, or rather, applying Buddhist principles to the decision-making process.

Here’s my take on how to make decisions following some Buddhist principles.

Settle into a state of mindfulness

Mindfulness is an oft-talked about concept, although its practice may not be consistent. To make things easier to absorb, consider mindfulness as being aware of yourself, the situation, and the decision to be made.

Mindfulness: Choosing How to Think and Act

Being aware of yourself means identifying how you feel – physically, emotionally, and mentally. What is your body and soul telling you? By paying attention to these things, your intuition will probably come into play, which is already a step toward making a decision. Even more importantly, by consciously taking a close look at the state of your body and mind, you don’t let your thoughts run amok. You don’t panic, and you stay in control.

Once you’ve settled into this state, you can now identify what it is that you need to decide. Often, decision-making becomes complicated when it is not clear what decision needs to be made. When you’re fully aware of the situation and are able to identify your options, then you can take the next step.

Assess your options

This activity falls under the concept of mindfulness since you are immersing yourself in the situation and facing the issue head on. You are choosing to think about and weigh your options in an informed manner.

Do your research, much like doing homework. Now that you are clear regarding your options, it is best to take time to assess them. Just because you know what your options are doesn’t mean you should close your eyes, jump, and hope for the best.

Ask these questions:

How important is this decision?
What will happen if I choose option 1 (or 2)?
Do I have to deal with this decision now, or can it wait a few more weeks (or months)? This is important because you may be stressing over something that can wait or, on the other hand, you may be avoiding making a decision that needs to be dealt with ASAP.

Having the answers to these questions will give you a clearer perspective.

Make the decision, and let go

At this point, it is up to you to summon the strength and courage to make the decision. It may be easy, thanks to the points above. It may still be one of the most difficult things to do. But you do have it in you to make that decision. The biggest question may be “When?”

When you’re truly ready, however, you will make that decision. You may or may not live to regret it, but one thing is for sure: you are only going to stress yourself out if you keep obsessing about whether it’s the right decision or not.

Once you’ve made that decision. Let go. It’s done. Again, go back to the main principle of mindfulness.

I leave you with this.

[tweetthis url=”https://www.thedailymind.com/how-to/buddhist-decision-making/”]The past is already gone, the future is not yet here. There’s only one moment for you to live, and that is the present moment. – Gautama Buddha[/tweetthis]

You might also like: Life lessons from Buddhism

Originally posted on August 5, 2015 @ 8:00 am

How to Cope With the Sudden Death of a Loved One

Family, Healing, Life, Spirit

Although we all know that death is inevitable, it still doesn’t stop the mourning that follows the dying of a loved one. Impending death from a lingering illness and death that comes suddenly may cause the same level of grief for the people left behind. But the difference lies in how they cope with the loss.

When a person dies unexpectedly, it takes the family and friends by surprise. Sudden and unanticipated death may be caused by an accident, suicide, accidental shooting or murder, and certain medical conditions. Unlike the dying of someone who has been sick for a long time, the shock and bewilderment of people left behind in a sudden death are so acute and intense that the coping capacity is greatly impaired. The overwhelming grief of the parent or life partner can affect them to such a great extent that functioning is significantly diminished.

Bereaved survivors are plagued by feelings of despair, numbness, anger, guilt for still being alive and often an immeasurable sense of yearning that strikes any time. These feelings persist longer and are more intense than the emotions that assail the normal grieving person. There were no goodbyes and no more chance to do or say anything you would have wanted to, to the dead one. In the dual process model of coping with grief, the individual swings between loss-oriented responses and restoration activities to learn how to accept the reality and live life without the beloved. The back and forth seesaw creates a balance that enables the grieving person to cope with the sudden death of a loved one, reenter the daily normalcy of living grounded in reality.

It helps to know what to do in dealing with the unexpected death of a loved one, for one’s self and for learning how to help others who may go through it.

Allow yourself to grieve to be able to cope with sudden death.

Mourn by crying and thinking about your beloved who has passed away. By going through the process, you will learn to accept the reality of your loss.

Get psychotherapy if you feel it’s necessary and will help.

Seek out a support group where you can share experiences and hear about other people’s own agony.

If you belong to a religious community, perform the rituals and traditions of your faith and seek spiritual guidance from your church.

Maintain communication with your close friends whose shoulders you can cry on when the going gets rough.

Engage in restoration activities.

Although you are still in prolonged grief, keep in mind that life has to go on even in the absence of your dear one. Restoration activities give you a reality check and having to focus on day to day activities keep you from brooding over your tragic loss.

Get physical. Go to the gym regularly or take 30-minute long walks frequently. Aside from the benefits on your body’s health, physical activities release brain chemicals that help combat the depression and anxiety that come with grief.

Learn new skills. Budgeting finances, cooking, minor house repairs are useful skills to have, especially if you were dependent on your partner for them. The internet has many free courses, or enroll in a community class and make new acquaintances on the side.

Take care of your physical and mental well-being. Get enough sleep and eat healthy. Don’t tire yourself out and avoid turning to alcohol and drugs to get relief.

Don’t isolate yourself totally. Join social activities to keep your mind off your loss, even if only temporarily.

The sudden demise of a loved one can turn your world upside down, and there’s no denying that that someone is gone forever. But it can also make you aware of what’s important in life and not get lost in the trivialities.

3 Things (Even) Intelligent People Forget

Inspiration, Personal Growth, Spirit

There are all sorts of people in the world, and some are more gifted intellectually than others. From grade school to high school to university to the workplace, these people are used to performing better than most of their peers. This doesn’t mean, however, that they know everything.

As a matter of fact, high intellect may sometimes be a deterrent in growing as a person. Emphasis on sometimes.

Indeed, some of the smartest people have been dubbed “stupid” because of the choices they make in life, or how they perceive certain issues. This is, of course, due to different factors, but one thing to consider is that they may have forgotten some facts, leading to struggles they have difficulty understanding.

Let’s take a look at some things even intelligent people forget.

Education and intelligence are not all that matter.

Recently, a post on Facebook went viral in my neck of the woods. It was a university professor bashing a recent graduate who got the highest grade in the last several decades. He went on and on about grades not being what matters. I’m not condoning his actions. In fact, it is distasteful and inappropriate, especially coming from a person of his stature.

However, his point about education and grades holds some truth. You may be the best in your class, but that does not mean much if you don’t do anything with it.

Relying on scholarly success doesn’t make a difference without action.

So you’re smart. Do something with it.

Success has different definitions.

What’s your definition of success?

For some people, when they’ve reached C-level, they consider themselves a success. Others consider having their own property and car being a success. Some think raising a family is success.

The point is that different people have their own definitions of success, and just because you have reached your goals doesn’t mean you can look down on others for not being where you are. Having this perception will not only limit your way of thinking but can also harm relationships.

It’s okay to consider emotions and not to over rationalize things.

Smart people are rational above all else, aren’t they? When making a decision, they set aside their hearts and their emotions because they interfere with decision-making, yes?

Well, yes and no.

There are certain situations when being rational is necessary, even if the decision may hurt others. An example would be if you absolutely have to cut back on expenses in the company, and the only way is to let go of people.

On the other hand, when it comes to personal matters, it’s all right to listen to how you feel. It doesn’t mean you don’t think about the repercussions of whichever decision you take.

What you should remember is that relying too much on being rational isn’t the smartest way to go.

Important: As with most things, balance is key. While emotions should play a part in your life, you can’t let them reign free. Emotions + being rational = best results.

Do you sometimes forget the things above? Or are there other things that you can add to the list? Let us know in the comments!

You might also want to read: How to Control the Ego at Work

Originally posted on July 3, 2015 @ 8:30 am

What the NBA Playoffs Can Teach Us About Life

Inspiration

Come NBA Playoffs time, the routines of basketball fans around the world experience a massive shift. Some even change their schedules to make sure they catch their team’s games live. It gets even worse when the Finals begin.

Arguably, this year’s Playoffs has been one of the most interesting in recent times, and even if you are not a basketball fan, there are some things you can learn from the game, the team leaders, and the sportsmanship of the players.

With the season being over, let’s take a look at some life lessons the NBA Playoffs can teach us. [Read more…] about What the NBA Playoffs Can Teach Us About Life

Originally posted on June 17, 2015 @ 8:00 am