“Everyone just relax, all right? Believe me, if there’s one thing Ron Burgundy knows, it’s women.”
Ron Burgundy knows women. He said so himself! If you want to know how to start an office romance you should listen to all the things Ron has to say… and then forget them.
Complimenting her perfume
When you compliment a woman’s perfume you should be full on and intimidating. Try to scare them as much as possible.
“It’s a formidable scent… It stings the nostrils. In a good way.”
or…
“You are a smelly pirate hooker”
Telling her about yourself
If you want to start a romance you should talk about yourself until she knows every little facet of your life. Make sure she especially knows about all of your achievements and about how superior you are to her. In fact, why don’t you just flat out insult her?
“I don’t know how to put this but I’m kind of a big deal.”
or…
“I’m a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man I am. You’re just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It’s science.”
Choosing the right pick up line
And this is where the magic happens. If you want to start a hot office romance you need to make sure your pick up line is pure gold. You need to make sure it melts her as soon as she hears it. Luckily for you Ron Burgundy has it sorted out for you.
“I wanna say something. I’m gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don’t, send it right back. I want to be on you.”
See the way he structured that? It is direct and awkward. It is probably bordering on sexual harrassment.
You see with the Anchorman it is all about confidence. He knows women want him and he likes to show it. He isn’t afraid of being shut down because he has never been shut down before.
Now forget it all…
Originally posted on February 27, 2008 @ 11:38 pm
