Personal Growth – Page 23

Accepting Defeat: How to Deal With Defeat Like a Professional

Everyone fails. Michael Jordan, Oprah, you, me. Everyone. The difference between regular people and great people is how they deal with the defeat. In this post I want to look at how to deal with defeat like a professional.

See defeat as a positive

“Defeat should never be a source of discouragement but rather a fresh stimulus.” – Robert South.

This is not always easy to do but it is one of the most common things that famous, rich, great and successful people cite when asked about how they got to where they are. They all say they see defeat as a positive.

When you see defeats as a positive you are opening yourself up to the fact that you still have a lot to learn. It won’t drag you down and you will move on from the event to bigger and brighter futures.

See defeat as inevitable

“It is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life. The human spirit is never finished when it is defeated…it is finished when it surrenders.” – Ben Stein

The next thing you need to do is realize that no matter who you are, what industry you are in and how good you are at what you do you are always going to experience some defeats. It might not happen every day but it will happen. No one in the world has lived their whole life without ever being defeated at what they do.

When you see it as being inevitable you are preparing yourself subtly for when it happens. This way you will not be surprised and you will be able to gather yourself quickly and effectively.

See defeat as a learning opportunity

“I learned much more from defeat than I ever learned from winning” – Anonymous

When asked how he got so good at boxing Muhammad Ali replied that for three seconds after making every mistake he thought about it, re did the move and then moved on. This is smart. [Read more…] about Accepting Defeat: How to Deal With Defeat Like a Professional

Originally posted on May 25, 2008 @ 3:04 am

Is Greatness Born or Made? Can Anyone Become Great if They Put Their Mind to it?

Inspiration, Personal Growth, Spirit

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” – Nelson Mandela

Americans have the strong belief that if they put their minds to it they can achieve anything. But is this really true? Could your average Joe play pro ball with Mike or take on Warren Buffet in an earnings race? I am not so sure.

In this post I want to take a look at whether greatness is born or made. Is the belief that anyone can achieve anything they want really true? I am going to weigh up BOTH sides of the argument. Perhaps after that you could leave your comments and let me know what you think. An advanced warning – this post has a lot of opinions and very little facts! I am writing more for my own personal interest than anything else.

Greatness is Born: The Arguments

First I want to start off with the idea that greatness is born and not made. There is plenty of evidence to support this side of the argument. Some of it you can find on Youtube.

The first video is of a violin prodigy. Watch the finger movement and the superb control. This guy is only 12. Seeing something like this leads me to believe that true greatness is born because no matter how many hours some of us put in we would never been that good in that amount of time. Check it out:

Now I want to show you a video of a young boy who was on Ellen recently. This kid saw a dancing movie and thought he might like to copy it. The result is some amazing dancing. By anyone’s standard. Again, this leads me to believe that talent and greatness are somehow born within some people and cannot be learned. Myself, as a white male, could never dance as well as this kid. Take a look.

Now take a look at a two year old Tiger Woods. I know a lot of people say that his father made him practice a lot and that he was pushed very hard to become great. But he is two! How many two year olds do you know that can hit a golf ball like this?

Then there is the example of people like Martin Luther King Jr., Muhammad Ali, Michael Jordan, Kennedy, Gandhi, etc. These people are born with “something” that other people do not seem to have. It might be a charisma or a look in their eye. It might be the way they look or their ability to speak powerful words. Whatever it is it seems as though it is something that cannot be developed. You either have it or you don’t.

Many people (including some scientists) think that greatness, ability, talent, skill, etc. are born into people. They think that only a select few people with perfect genetics and predisposed qualities can rise to be something great. This means that not everybody could be as good as Michael Jordan or as smart as Albert Einstein.

Greatness is Made: The Arguments

Now lets take a look at the arguments that greatness is NOT born in a person but acquired through determination, training and perseverance. There are some good arguments to be made for this side of things.

The major argument is this. No body was ever actually born great. Bill Gates was not born as the CEO of Microsoft. Michael Jordan was not born into the Chicago Bulls. Bruce Lee was not born knowing all those moves. All of these people had to train and work hard. None of them got to be great by sitting around on the couch all day.

Perhaps the question is not whether anyone can be great, it is whether anyone can do what it takes to be great. Some people are habitually lazy. Some people are afraid of trying new things or afraid of failing. These are the types of habits and concerns that great people simply do not have. They have excellent internal discipline and ways to deal with these disturbing thoughts when they arise. Remember, bravery is not the absence of fear, it is being afraid and doing it anyway. Great people are a lot like that.

Here are a few examples that greatness is made.

Oprah Winfrey

“In every aspect of our lives, we are always asking ourselves, How am I of value? What is my worth? Yet I believe that worthiness is our birthright.” – Oprah Winfrey

Oprah Winfrey started out with nothing. She had no father, was raped at age nine, at fourteen lost a baby in infancy and was sent away to a new city to live with a foster parent. Now she is the richest African American in the world, the most powerful woman in the world, has the most successful talk show in history and inspires millions of people on a daily basis.

Oprah is living proof that greatness is made. Greatness comes about through hard work and pushing through adversity.

Gandhi

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Gandhi

Gandhi is a prime example of someone whose rise to greatness was solely because of the work he did in his lifetime. When he was trying to make a difference he staged protests. When he wanted people to pay attention he deprived his body of food until they listened. This man studied, meditated and worked until he got the results he wanted. He was continually trying to become a better man.

Lance Armstrong
Lance has had his whole body riddled with cancer and then come back and won more Tour de France races than anyone else. People have accused him of being a drug cheat but in the end I think there is one reason that Lance Armstrong is great. Hard work. Take a look at this inspiring video.

The Argument for Both and Why it Doesn’t Matter

In all honesty I think my personal position is a mixture of the two. I think that while anybody can become good at something they put their mind to, not all of them will turn out great. I think certain people are predisposed to certain activities. Some are natural leaders. Some are natural athletes. Some can do math sums in their head extremely fast. This gives them a massive advantage over the rest of us.

The tricky question is “why”? Why do some people have this natural ability and others don’t? Perhaps it is in the genetics and passed down from parent to child? This might be the case for certain sports people. Perhaps it is something to do with karma and how the particular person was in their previous lives? Perhaps it is to do with the early upbringing? I am not sure.

And in then end I don’t think it matters. I think the pursuit of greatness is completely hollow unless it is in order to help others. Do you ever ask yourself why you want to be different to who you are now? I ask myself this all the time and I still am not sure. It is almost like I’ve been brain washed. For so many years I have been told to do something great and wonderful that when I can’t achieve it I get anxious. I am stressed because I don’t feel like life is where it should be.

I think people (myself included) should start focussing on making other people happy instead of trying to make themselves better than everyone else. What do you think?

top image: photo credit: Mars Hill Church Seattle

Originally posted on May 15, 2008 @ 3:25 am

Career Change: How Do You Know When to Change Jobs?

Life, Personal Growth, Spirit

Mrs Daily Minder has a dilemma. She is currently being offered two jobs and doesn’t know which one to take. We have been talking about it for days and still haven’t come to a solution so I thought I would write about it and see if we can come up with a clear process for figuring out when to change jobs.

I would love your suggestions, help and words of wisdom too.

How do you know when to change jobs?

Here is the scenario: A competitor firm is offering her a new job with some nice little bonuses. Her current job found out about this and is offering her more hours and a better deal to encourage her to stay. She has no idea which one to take. Here are some issues we have looked at:

1. Are you happy at your current workplace?
If you are not happy at your workplace and you have tried making friends, meditating at work, becoming more mindful, de-stressing and so on and still haven’t had any luck then perhaps it is time to change jobs. Regardless of how much money you are being paid, if you are not happy your life will be miserable. This is the most important question to ask yourself when deciding if you should change jobs.

2. What are your short and long term goals?
It is important to sit down and establish what your short and long term goals are. If you do not have any goals it will be too easy to float around with no real direction. However, once you write down some concrete goals you will have more of a “guide” as to which option will be better for you.

For example, if you long term goal is to earn enough money to buy a house then you should go with the job offering more money. On the other hand, if your long term goal is in a completely different area then you should take the job that offers the best deal in the short term.

Make sure your goals are in your mind when you make a job changing decision.

3. What is your gut telling you?

photo credit: Paladin27

A dear friend of mine told me that the best piece of advice he had was to always trust your gut. I think this is very good advice. Sometimes we might be seduced by a financial incentive or we might be tempted by the allure of a new and exciting job. However, take some time to listen to what your gut is telling you. 90% of the time you know what is best for you – despite what the money is whispering in your ear.

4. Have you done a PRO and CON list?
Something my father always used to do before a big business decision was write down a PRO and CON list or a cost-benefit analysis. Sometimes this would be two manila folders, sometimes it would be a napkin on the kitchen bench. I quite like this approach as it is very systematic and allows you to look at the options visually. We are very visual creatures and writing things down on paper in two neat columns labeled GOOD and BAD is a great way to gain some perspective.

The problem with this (according to my father) is that it is very difficult to assign some “weight” to each PRO or CON. For example, job no.1 might offer you a great car park while job no.2 might offer you a great desk and a Christmas bonus. How do you establish which option is better? Do you do it financially by working out how much a year the car park saves you in parking costs and whether that is equal to the Christmas bonus the other guys are offering? Or, do you just go with the quantity of PROs in the column?

This is tricky.

5. Have you talked to other people?
Sometimes talking to people who already work at the place you might be going is a good idea. I just got a phone call from the Missus and she told me that she went to talk to someone who used to work at the place. They went out for a coffee and talked about all the good and bad elements of the firm. This seems to have given her some new perspective.

However, the downside to talking to other people is that you often get a lot of emotional opinion instead of facts. People’s views are swayed by their experiences and if the person had a bad experience with a manager or another staff member they might paint the firm in a bad light. Be careful of who you talk to and how much import you attach to their opinion.

6. Have you looked at the “external” factors?
Something that you need to look at are the factors that aren’t directly related to the job but will be affected if you change workplaces. For example, if you change from a 9 to 5 job to one that includes night shifts will you still be able to take the kids to work the next morning? These kinds of factors are affected when you change jobs and as such you should make sure you address them before you make the move.

Other tips and advice for changing jobs?

Now I would like to open up the comments to you all. Please share with us your experiences and stories about changing jobs. What made you leave? What did you regret? What advice do you have? Let’s see if we can compile a list of tips in the comments that might really help someone who encounters this post.

top image: photo credit: mringlein

Originally posted on May 6, 2008 @ 8:06 am

History’s Great Speeches: How to Make Work Presentations and Speeches Like the Greats

Personal Growth, Spirit

Martin Luther King Jr. giving the 'I have a dream' speech

Giving a speech or presentation can be scary. You have a few moments to convince a room of strangers to buy your product or get them to trust what you are pitching. But there is hope! History has shown us many ways to give a truly great speech – a speech that goes “bang” in people’s hearts and minds.

In this article I want to look at a few of those great speeches and talk about how you can give a work presentation that hits the point and makes an impression.

1. Martin Luther King Junior: I Have a Dream

Connect with the audience’s emotions and repeat the message

In 1963 Martin Luther King Junior gave what is probably the most recognized and famous speech of all time. It is a speech that changed the nation forever and burned its way into the memory of millions of Americans. How did he do this? He connected with the emotions of the audience. Take a look:

Martin Luther King uses the phrase “I have a dream” to rip his way into the hearts of his listeners. The dream he speaks of is, in fact, the same dream of everyone listening – this is why the speech is so emotionally powerful. I challenge anyone to watch this clip and not shed a tear. He is speaking directly to the innermost sanctum of the human heart. He is speaking about human experience, love, parenthood, freedom – these things evoke emotion.

If you want to make a great speech you need to connect to the emotions of those listening.

The second thing King Jr. did was repeat a key phrase. “I have a dream” was said at important points throughout the speech and it was this key phrase that made the speech so memorable. By repeating “I have a dream” at important junctions he was able to associate certain emotions with that phrase. Now, whenever anyone hears “I have a dream” they think of equality, freedom, brotherhood and so on.

Make sure you have some repetition in your speech. If you say something once people will forget. Say it twice, people will remember.

2. John F. Kennedy: Inaugural Address (Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You)

Increase volume at the right time, evoke people’s imagination and ask questions

Volume is a very important part of a great speech. If you use volume correctly you can draw your audience’s attention in or you can emphasize a point. A whisper can be just as powerful as a shout. Kennedy increases his volume at the key points of this speech and as such forces people to pay attention. [Read more…] about History’s Great Speeches: How to Make Work Presentations and Speeches Like the Greats

Originally posted on May 3, 2008 @ 4:38 pm

Gordon Ramsay: 4 Lessons this Angry Chef Can Teach You About Success

Inspiration, Personal Growth, Spirit

Gordon Ramsay

Gordon Ramsay is an angry man. He is also a very inspiring man who knows a lot about the hospitality industry. In his massively popular television series, Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares, he takes God forsaken eateries and turns them in to five star restaurants. Love him or hate him he knows how to do his job.

In this article I want to take a look at a few lessons Gordon Ramsay has taught me about the pressures and stresses of my work and how to turn them into success.

What Gordon Ramsay can teach you about work success

1. When you are wrong, admit it
One of the first things you notice about the show is that Gordon Ramsay goes after people who don’t admit they are wrong the hardest. He rides their backside until they either cave in and start crying or they storm out and quit. In Ramsay’s restaurants there is only room for those people who are willing to learn and grow and if you are not ready to admit that you were wrong you are going to lose out.

In this video you will see Chef Ramsay go to town on a French Chef who won’t admit that he was wrong. It starts a huge argument and the two almost have a fist-fight. In the end Ramsay walks out and the chef misses out on an opportunity to learn from one of the most successful restaurant owners in the world.

Sometimes it is better to leave your ego at the door and admit that you are wrong. [Read more…] about Gordon Ramsay: 4 Lessons this Angry Chef Can Teach You About Success

Originally posted on April 10, 2008 @ 8:00 am

Buddhist Work: Things I Learned About Work from my Tibetan Friends

Mind, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Spirit, Spirituality

Every year I travel to the North Indian Himalayas to see my Tibetan friends and Buddhist teachers. In that time I have learned a lot of life lessons and a lot of lessons about how to make my work more meaningful. In this post I want to look at a few things my Tibetan friends taught me about work.

Tibet, Buddhism and a happy workplace

Before I get into the lessons I thought I would explain why I feel the Tibetan people have a lot to offer us westerners in terms of work lessons.

Tibet was a Buddhist country where the peaceful religion permeated every single household, shop, farm, school, etc. It has been there for hundreds of years.

Tibet was invaded by the Chinese in 1959 and many took refuge in India. Here they continue to live as practicing Buddhists – their culture still alive and well. And one of the first things you see when you go into a Tibetan owned business is Buddhist imagery. They base their work around their spiritual life and because of this steadfast trust in their spirituality they learn to deal with stress, anger and work pressures in a very different way. These methods are what we are going to look at today.

Lessons I learned about work from my Tibetan friends

With all that in mind here are a few things I learned from my Tibetan friends about making my work a happier and more spiritual place.

1. Compassion for all beings

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – HH the Dalai Lama

The very core and basis of Buddhism is that all beings are suffering and wish to be happy. With this in mind Buddhists take a vow where they promise to serve and protect all sentient beings for as long as they live. This compassion is not biased or choosy – all sentient beings deserve this compassion – even people we meet in the workplace! [Read more…] about Buddhist Work: Things I Learned About Work from my Tibetan Friends

Originally posted on April 7, 2008 @ 1:24 am