Inspiration – Page 19

5 Habits That Help Cultivate Greatness

Muhummad Ali

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle

Do your daily habits affect how successful you are in life? You bet they do. Can you change your habits and point you life in the direction of greatness? Absolutely. Here are 5 habits that will help you cultivate greatness.

Habit 1: Wake up early

I can not think of a single great person in the course of history who did not rise early to work on their art. Waking up early is one of the hardest habits you will ever attempt to develop but if you are successful you will reap tremendous benefits.

photo credit: -RejiK

Some successful people throughout history who have woken up early include:

the Dalai Lama
Gandhi
Aristotle
Sir Isaac Newton
Buddha
Barack Obama

Waking up early and links to a clear mind
What you will notice about the majority of the people on this list is that they are pioneers in critical thinking and inventiveness. One of the main benefits of rising early is that you have an increased clarity of mind. Your faculties are sharper and you will be much more productive. Add this with the fact that by waking up early you will have more time to work on your goals and you have a pretty successful formula.

How to wake up early
So how do you wake up early? I have written entire posts on waking up early and some tips for waking up fresh but I will give you a basic overview. The main points to remember are:

Go to bed at the same time
It is not so important to go to bed early. What you really need to focus on is going to bed at the same time each night. Remember, waking up early is a habit and we create habits by repetition. Let your body settle into the routine and go to bed at the same time each night.
Wake up at the same time
For all the reasons above, you need to wake up at the same time. Waking up at the same time is even more important than going to bed at the same time as this is the part of the habit that you are affecting the most. Even if you cannot get to bed at your proper bed time try to still get up at the same time.
Make a strong vow
If you only have some vague idea that you are going to get up early you never will. You need to sit down and figure out exactly why you are getting up early and take a personal vow to stick to that time. Only with a strong motivation will you be successful.
Avoid coffee, wine and chocolate at night
These three foods are said to be the worst thing you can have before bed. Why? Because they are all stomach irritants that cause you to have a restless sleep. If your sleep is restless you will be less likely to wake up in the morning because you are way too tired.
Exercise in the morning or at night
Fitter people are more able to get out of bed at the crack of dawn. And what’s more, if you exercise before bed you go to sleep quite relaxed and full of endorphins. This will send you straight into a deep sleep and you will wake feeling refreshed and alive.
Get out of bed as soon as you’re aware
As soon as your awareness comes back to your mind it is really important to jump up and get out of bed straight away. If you take too long your awareness will shift towards how beautifully comfortable you are under those sheets and blankets and you will have missed your chance!
Recognize the opportunity
I am a big fan of using logical arguments to improve your lifestyle. For me, waking up early is a gift not to be squandered. We only get a few short years on this planet. I for one do not want to waste them sleeping in. I just don’t see the point.

Waking up early is the first habit you should try to develop. It is one daily habit that will directly impact the quality of your life and how much you are able to achieve. If greatness is your goal – be it in sport, business, spirituality, etc. – then rising early should become your new secret weapon. [Read more…] about 5 Habits That Help Cultivate Greatness

Originally posted on December 8, 2008 @ 2:39 pm

9 Things I Learned From the Coolest Wedding Ever

Inspiration

Yesterday, all day yesterday, I was at the coolest wedding ever. Two of my close friends were getting married and, despite my hatred of big weddings, I had a really amazing time. In this post I want to show you nine things I learned at this wedding and how they might help you. I actually learned quite a lot about myself yesterday.

9 things I learned at the coolest wedding ever

1. Your day will be about as good as you want it to be
Before the wedding I was a bit of a grouch. I was walking around the house looking for my fancy clothes thinking about how stupid weddings are and about how much I didn’t want to go. After a few hours of this negativity I snapped myself out of it and realized that the day would probably be a lot better if I approached it with a more positive attitude. Guess what? I was right.

Our mental attitude shapes the way we view the world. Sure, everyone sees the same things but we all perceive them differently. If you choose to perceive an event as a negative thing then you are going to have a bad experience. If, on the other hand, you approach it with a positive outlook you day is going to be a lot better.

2. Everyone has a story
When you are at a wedding (or any other function for that matter) it is easy to think that there is no one there worth talking to. You sit alone in the corner with your drink and just stare at all the people chatting away. It can get quite lonely. But one thing I learned yesterday is that everyone has a story.

I was seated at a table with a bunch of people I didn’t know. At first I thought it was going to be a long meal but as soon as I sat down I made the effort to introduce myself and flash everyone a big smile. Within two minutes I was talking to the lady next to me about her travels through the Middle Easy and by the end of the night everyone at the table was a new friend. Everyone has a story. Just give them a chance to tell it.

3. Ethics filters down to everyone
Today over lunch I was thinking about how lovely everyone at the wedding was. I was simply blown away by how kind each and every person in the bride’s family were. They were warm, loving, funny and very gentle. And then I remembered who their mother was – one of the nicest ladies I have ever met. And these nice people were here children and grandchildren.

This family, to me, is proof that ethics filters down to everyone. The mother had brought her children up in an ethical and loving way and as a result everyone they meet gets touched by their example. This is how we can really change the world and seeing it in action was extremely inspiring.

4. No one cares what you look like
At about 9pm the entire population of the wedding jumped on to the dance floor to consummate the marriage. It was time for the chicken dance! As I was shaking my tail feather I looked around to see about 15 or 20 of the younger guests just sitting back and watching. It was a little sad as we were having a lot of fun and they were missing out.

Later on I was in the bathroom and got back in time to watch the last minute or so of another ridiculous looking group dance event. And what I noticed, as an onlooker, is that I really didn’t care about how people were dancing or whether or not they looked foolish. I just enjoyed seeing everyone so happy and having such a great time. This was interesting to me because I realized that no one REALLY cares about how you look. Don’t ruin a good fun event because you are worried what other people are going to think. It isn’t worth it. Life is short!

5. Overdoing the booze is a bad idea
I do not drink alcohol so I cannot really comment on how it causes me to act like an idiot. I have never personally experienced being drunk. But, I went to high school and college and as such I have a pretty good idea about what a drunk person is capable (or not capable) of doing. And yesterday at the wedding I saw some pretty dumb stuff.

Towards the end of the night one of the guests got so drunk that he lost all his inhibitions and did some things that really upset the bride. At the time he didn’t care but I imagine he will feel like a right idiot when he realizes today what he has done. If you drink make sure you do it responsibly. One or two hours of hard drinking might have ruined a 20 year friendship for one person yesterday.

6. Love is good but it is not the only thing
One thing that struck me about the wedding is how much emphasis the celebrant put on “passion” and “love”. And while I think love is nice and should have a huge role in a marriage, it should not be the only thing mentioned.

Anyone who has been in a long term relationship will tell you that things like trust, honor, loyalty and respect are just as important as love. Love does not solve all the problems in a marriage and so I thought it was a little odd that the vows were based entirely on this one aspect of the partnership. Perhaps I am a little off with this one. What do you think? Should those other things be given as much weight as love in the ceremony?

7. The “thank yous” should come out more often
During the speeches a lot of time is given to the “thank yous”. The best man thanked the bridal party for all they had done. The father of the bride thanked his wife and the parents of the groom. And the groom thanked his best man for being such a good friend. It occurred to me during all this that we should spend more time saying “thank you” to those we love.

Think about your parents or your spouse. They spend a lot of time doing things for you just because they love you. We don’t always ask them to do it but they do it anyway and often without appreciation or a “thank you”. Yesterday’s wedding reminded me how important it is to say those two special words and inspired me to say them more often.

8. Being outside brings people to life
The wedding itself was held in a botanical garden up in the hills near my city. It was an amazing location. There were flowers, birds and a giant lake and forest behind us. The family handed out bubbles and throughout the day people were floating in a sea of bubbles and sunshine. Everyone felt alive.

Being outside in the garden reminded me how much I used to love going for walks alone in the forest. I promised myself that I would pick this habit up again because it made me feel so alive and close to nature. If you ever feel depressed or cooped up in your office a walk in the park is a great way to cheer yourself up.

9. Our parents did the best they knew how
Everyone has parental issues. For most of my childhood and teenage years I hated my dad. And I know a lot of people who feel the same. At the wedding I was told that it wasn’t always smooth sailing for the groom and his father and that for a long time they didn’t even speak. Yesterday, however, they seemed very close.

During the speech the groom’s father burst into tears when talking about how proud he was of his son. He related a few stories and admitted to the fact that he didn’t always do the right thing by his son even though he tried his best. At that moment the groom got up and gave him a big hug in front of everyone. It was as if he was forgiving him or showing him that he loved him anyway. It was quite an intimate moment and it reminded me of the fact that our parents did the best job they knew how to do.

Conclusion

Quite often life throws us an event that opens us up to some new lessons. For me, this wedding was a reminder of a few important things that I had forgotten or put on the back burner. I am glad I went. I feel like I learned a lot.

Originally posted on November 30, 2008 @ 7:56 am

What Tibet’s Greatest Ever Yogi Can Teach Us About Living Life

Inspiration, Meditation, Mind, Spirit

Milarepa

His name was Milarepa and he was a murderer. The start of this yogi’s life was marred by violence, hatred and revenge. But mention his name to any Tibetan and their eyes will well up with tears of devotion and joy. For this is a story about change. This is a man who recognized his flaws and mistakes and turned his life around. This is a man who became the greatest yogi the world has ever seen.

Who was Milarepa?

The murders
Milarepa was born into a wealthy family in the snowy land of Tibet in 1052. Early on in his teenage years his father passed away and, with no one left to control the estate, his aunt and uncle stole his entire inheritance. Filled with rage and hatred the young Milarepa went away to learn various dark arts and soon returned to murder them. In fact, it is said that the vengeful Milarepa was so angry that he killed 35 people in his uncle’s village on the night of the revenge.

Meeting his Guru
Soon after these dreadful events Milarepa’s life started to fall to pieces. He had reached an extremely dark place and realized very deeply that his life had turned out all wrong. He was ashamed of who had become and what he had done to his family. He realized the grave mistake he had made.

So he set out to make things right. On his quest of redemption Milarepa met a man named Marpa who had brought all of the Buddhist teachings to Tibet from India. Marpa had endured great hardships to bring these teachings back and it is said that without Marpa the Buddhist teachings would not have survived in the land of snows.

The moment Milarepa first saw Marpa was magic. Legend tells us that Marpa was out in a field having a drink and Milarepa passed him on the road. When his eyes first fell on Marpa the whole world stood still and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. Milarepa had no idea who the man was but due to their strong connection from past lives it is said that Milarepa experienced a deep state of meditation by just looking at Marpa.

The great hardships that Marpa put him through

Pictured: the final tower built by Milarepa

Milarepa studied with many Buddhist masters but none of them seemed to be able to help him. In his heart he knew had to study with Marpa. So he went back to ask Marpa and asked for help but Marpa just scolded him and chased him away. Each time Milarepa requested teachings the wrathful Marpa would beat him and kick him out. Finally, though, he gave in and made a deal with Milarepa:

“Build me a large tower and I will teach you the Dharma,” he said.

So Milarepa set to work. He gathered stones and rocks and wood from all over the country side. After many weeks of backbreaking labor Milarepa went back to Marpa and told him the tower was complete. Marpa went to inspect the work and upon seeing it started yelling at Milarepa telling him that he had done it all wrong and that he needed to start again!

This went on nine more times.

The last tower Milarepa built was nine stories high and took many months to complete. Remember, this was before cars, cranes and cement mixers. It took such a toll on his body it is said that he had open sores all over his back and that he was now a hunch back from carrying all the rocks. But he did it. And his dedication to Marpa never wavered. He wanted the teachings so much.

After the last tower was built Milarepa stumbled back to Marpa’s house where the teacher was giving some advanced teachings to some other yogis. Milarepa fell on the floor by Marpa’s feet and begged for teachings. But, as always, Marpa told him to go away.

Completely at his wit’s end Milarepa decided to kill himself. He had murdered 35 people and without the teachings of the Buddha he felt there was no way he could make things right and no way to benefit those dead people. So he hung a rope on a tree and put it around his neck. He took a deep breath and braced himself and just as he was about to step to his death Marpa approached and said that he was now ready to receive the highest teachings of Buddhism. Marpa had accepted him as a disciple.
[Read more…] about What Tibet’s Greatest Ever Yogi Can Teach Us About Living Life

Originally posted on November 26, 2008 @ 10:05 am

6 Ways to Beat Depression During the Winter Months

Inspiration, Mental Health, Mind, Spirit

photo credit: jdebner

The days are getting shorter, the air is getting colder and you are starting to feel pretty down. It’s winter. A lot of people suffer from increased feelings of depression during the winter months. In this post I want to show you a few ways that you can help beat the winter blues.

Seasonal Affective Disorder – Clinical Winter Depression
Did you know that there is actually a clinical form of depression that only occurs during winter? It is called Seasonal Affective Disorder and it is much more than just the winter blues. People who are affected by winter depression have serious symptoms like anxiety, fatigue, weight gain and more.

If you think that your winter blues are more than just winter blues then it is important to go and see your doctor. The tips I have given here will help but they are not a replacement for a medical diagnosis.

6 ways to beat depression during the winter months

1. Get outside often
As you might have already figured out, there is scientific evidence showing that depression increases when there is less sunlight. Sunlight causes the production of Vitamin D in your body and this is a natural antidepressant. If you don’t get a good amount of sunlight it is likely that you will start to feel depressed.

It is important to get outside in the sun often. Now I am not talking about getting dangerous amounts of sun as this can lead to sun burn and skin cancer. What I am talking about is a sensible amount, morning or late afternoon, when the sun is not too powerful.

2. Exercise regularly
Exercise is a fantastic way to help beat the winter blues. I love to get out and go for a run in nature. Near my house there is an old forest with a beautiful creek running through it. For many years I have gone jogging there just to be alone, enjoy the wildlife around me and breathe some fresh air.

But exercise makes you feel good for other, more scientific reasons. When you exercise your body releases a hormone called endorphins which make you feel happy. So every time you exercise you are helping to beat your depression in a very natural and healthy way.

3. Drink green tea
Recently I wrote about the health benefits of tea and in that post I mentioned that tea is a very helpful antidepressant. Green tea in particular is said to be very good for the mind.

The best green tea to buy are those from Japan and Central China. Green tea needs a certain temperature to grow properly and it seems as though these ancient cultures know exactly where to get the best green tea.

4. Avoid coffee
Coffee agitates your mind. It can cause you to feel anxious stressed and depressed. The problem with this one is that I know that most of my readers drink coffee. And according to the poll that we ran some of you drink a LOT of coffee!

If you are feeling down this winter I would like you to try cutting back on the coffee. Switch to green tea and watch the changes that occur in your mood and how you feel. I guarantee that after the initial slump of getting over coffee you will feel much better.

5. Keep eating fruit
When summer comes around we get a burst of amazing fruits like mangoes, grapes, raspberries, melon and so on. And the hot weather makes you want to eat them! It is too hot for heavy meals so you start eating a lot more fruit. And fruit is a natural antidepressant.

But when winter floats around all the good fruit disappears and we start getting cravings for carbs and heavy fatty foods. We want to eat hot stuff, not cool fruits. This is a bit of a shame. Try to keep your fruit intake up in the winter if you start to feel a bit down. I try to eat a fruit salad for breakfast everyday and I swear it is what keeps me healthy and well.

6. Be aware of the depression
One technique that you can use is to be aware of the depression creeping in during the winter months. The simple act of just being aware of it will actually make it feel a whole lot more manageable.

This is a simple meditation technique called mindfulness. All you are doing is becoming aware of the thoughts and watching them come and go. You don’t need to judge them or try to conceal them – just observe them and let them go. This is a powerful way to combat depression.

Conclusion
Winter time is difficult for a lot of people. For many people the winter months mean depression and fatigue. But there are some things that you can do. Try the tips I have suggested above and see how they work for you. But, remember, if you think your winter blues are getting worse you should always see you doctor.

Originally posted on November 18, 2008 @ 1:44 am

Think for Yourself: Why Being a Conformist in Life is Dangerous

Inspiration, Personal Growth, Spirit

“Humanity’s most valuable assets have been the non-conformists. Were it not for the non-conformists, he who refuses to be satisfied to go along with the continuance of things as they are, and insists upon attempting to find new ways of bettering things, the world would have known little progress, indeed.” – John Kenneth Galbraith

Are you a Republican because everyone else in your family is? Did you go to college because all your friends were going to college? What about your job? Did you become an accountant or lawyer because that was what was expected of you? What about religion? That’s a tricky one. Are you a Christian or a Muslim or a Hindu just because your parents were? Are you happy with those decisions?

Well I’d like to put it to you that sheep-like beliefs are dangerous. Conformity is dangerous. It is dangerous for our society and it is dangerous for your happiness. In this post I am going to talk about why you need to learn to think for yourself if you want to be truly happy.

What is conformity?

Conformity is a process by which a person’s attitudes and beliefs become influenced by other people. It can be something that happens quite openly like peer pressure or it can be a more subtle influence that takes place over a number of years. The result is that you end up behaving like everybody else. That is why it is called being a sheep.

How sheep-like are you?

As you sit there reading this post you might think that you are pretty free, independent and that you don’t let other people’s beliefs influence you. You might be right. However, conformity can be extremely subtle and you might not notice how influenced you have become. Here are some ways in which you might conform without realizing:

the way you eat food
your manners
the way you drive your car
the type of music you like
the news channel you watch
the religion you practice
the political party you vote for
the job you have

What do you think? Are you a conformist in any way? I am betting that everyone here drives on the correct side of the road! And that is a good thing. You should continue to drive on the correct side of the road. That is a good type of conformity. Not all conformity is dangerous. But it does prove that you have, in some ways, become a conformist. Perhaps now you are open to the possibility that you conform in other more dangerous ways.

Why being a conformist is dangerous

Go on. Admit it. There are some things you do in life only because everyone else is doing it. Human beings are pack animals. They like to be in a group and they like to be like other people in that group. Being different is not seen as a good thing because it is threatening. And so we conform. We try to be like everyone else.

And here is why that is dangerous: because critical thinking goes out the window. Logic goes out the window. We don’t stop and think about what we are doing because everyone else is doing it. We forget to question whether it is right or wrong and we just follow the other sheep.

Take the example of religious extremists. These people have conformed to a particular ideal out of fear and they accept their cause based on blind faith. They do not analyze or use critical thought to come to a logical conclusion. This is extremely dangerous for society because these people are so open to negative influence. They will follow instructions without question and carry out horrible acts in the name of conformity.

Much religious sectarianism, racism, political hatred, violence and even war would be avoided if people would only think for themselves. I truly believe this.

Why being a conformist makes you unhappy

photo credit: mrido

Now let’s take a look at something a little closer to home. I believe that one reason many people are unhappy in their day to day lives is because they have spent so many years conforming to an ideal that they don’t particularly agree with.

The classic example is a young kid who wants to be an artist or novelist but, at the instruction of his parents, goes to college instead to get a Degree in Law or Business. The kid has taken the so-called “right track” but has never really pursued anything that he is really interested in. He is conforming to his parent’s wishes.

We do this all the time. We conform to things because other people want us to. We are afraid to think for ourselves and we are afraid to be different. It is very sad. Instead of setting up our own business we get a 9 to 5. Instead of traveling the world after high school we go straight to college. We seem to live our whole lives in the gray area – the area that is neither here nor there but feels good because everyone else is doing it.

Why we need to think for ourselves

One of the most important things the Buddha ever said was this:

“As the wise test gold by burning, cutting and rubbing it, So, students, should you accept my words – after testing them, and not merely out of respect.” – the Buddha

He is introducing critical thinking into his religion. Here the Buddha is saying that it is not enough just to have faith in something because a priest or great person said so. You must use your own intelligence and critical analysis to decide for yourself if this great person is speaking something factual. It is a more scientific approach to life.

If we want to be happy in this world, and if we want to create a more peaceful place for our children, we need to start thinking for ourselves. We need to question, ponder and analyze the world around us. Do not accept things because your family or priest or political leader told you to. Do not accept things because your friends do it. And, perhaps most importantly, don’t accept things because the media says it is the truth. You need to question in order to find the truth. And when you find the truth suffering and hatred dissipates.

Do it before it is too late

There is a great song by John Mayer called No Such Thing and in that song he sings about how he is so happy that he just realized there is no such thing as “the real world”. He is so happy that he has just realized that he doesn’t have to take the “so-called right track” and he is free to blaze his own trail. There is one line in that song that always hits me hard. He says:

“And all of our parents
They’re getting older
I wonder if they’ve wished for anything better
While in their memories
Tiny tragedies

They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something’s better
On the other side.”

– John Mayer, No Such Thing.

Start thinking for yourself today. Don’t wait till you are old and frail to realize that you have spent your entire life doing what everyone else wanted you to do. It is time to follow your passions. It is time to get out and make a difference in your life and in the lives of others. Question the world around you. Question your own life. And question why you do what you do.

Conforming never brought about anything but mediocrity and dangerous blind people.

Originally posted on November 11, 2008 @ 6:00 am

How to Support a Loved One Through Tough Times

Family, Inspiration, Life, Spirit

photo credit: Blush Response

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill

Every now and then life throws you a curve ball. Your best friend gets cancer, your wife loses her job or your daughter breaks up with her first high school love. In these trying times it is important to support your loved one’s and be a rock for them to lean on. But this can be harder than it sounds, especially when you are emotionally affected by the event as well.

In this post I want to show you a few ways to support a loved one through a tough time based on my own experiences. Hopefully it will give you a bit of inspiration for when tough times strike your loved ones.

Dealing with feelings of helplessness

One of the most difficult things about supporting a loved one through a tough time is how utterly helpless you feel. You might be the person’s mother, father, sister or brother – it doesn’t matter – when a loved one is suffering you feel helpless.

Imagine if your spouse was diagnosed with a serious illness tomorrow. This is the person who you have loved and supported for years and years. Someone with whom you have cried, laughed, fought and made love. Someone who has been there for you whenever you were down. And now they are sick. And there is nothing that you can do to change that.

It is a shit feeling.

But it is just a feeling. It is in your head. And it is natural. So let this be a warning to you. When tough times strike someone you love be ready for those feelings of helplessness because they will always arise. But don’t let them get you down. If you let them get you down you won’t be any help to anyone.

How to support a loved one through tough times

photo credit: halcyonsnow

Now I would like to get into the bulk of this post and share with you some things I have learned over the years about how to support a loved one through tough times. I am by no means an expert on these matters but it seems like I have spent a considerable part of my life trying to support friends and family who were experiencing some hardship. I’ll try to pass on what I have learned.

Don’t judge
When someone is suffering because of a mistake they have made the last thing they want to hear is your judgments. It really doesn’t help the situation at all and, in fact, can make your loved one less likely to come to you for support.

Let’s look at an example. Let’s say your daughter is in high school and she has just fallen in love with the football quarterback. You think he is a bit of a “player” and you know your daughter is going to end up heart broken. After a few months he cheats on her and she comes home in tears, her heart is broken and life cannot go on. If you decide to say “I told you so” she will never come to you again because she is afraid of being judged. The pain she is going through is lesson, she doesn’t need another one from you. [Read more…] about How to Support a Loved One Through Tough Times

Originally posted on November 6, 2008 @ 7:12 am