Mental Health

How to Beat Depression: 5 Counterintuitive Ways

How to beat depression is a topic that has been talked about so much. Is there anything else that we can add to the discussion?

For those who have not been in that sh#thouse of the well of depression, their answer would probably be no. For those who have experienced depression in varying degrees, there is always something to look at, analyze, and talk about.

Depression is hard to describe in itself. It’s hard to understand. It may come and go. For the sufferer of depression, it is a constant battle.

There are many “cures” and tips on how to beat depression, but they usually run along the same veins. In this post, let’s look at ways to tackle depression which may be counterintuitive.

Acknowledge your need for need.

Depressed people withdraw into their own world. It’s easier to stay in that funk and not face what’s really causing their emotional state. While many cases of depression cannot be fully treated without medication, there is a first step that any depressed person has to take: to acknowledge his/her state.

Corollary to this is the concept that depression is closely related to a need for need.

What does this mean?

Depressed people have a need for something although it varies from person to person. It could be a need to feel useful or needed. It could be a need for help in times of weakness. It could be a need for companionship.

Whatever that need is, it is important for a depressed person to acknowledge this and break through society’s idea that needing help is a sign of weakness. Don’t be ashamed of how you feel.

Don’t shield yourself from depression and feelings of loneliness.

[tweetthis url=”https://www.thedailymind.com/?p=3479″]Accepting that loneliness and depression exists in your life is the first step toward beating it![/tweetthis]

Avoid sugar.

But sugar gives you energy and makes you feel better, right? That’s true; but there is also the fact that after that surge of “feel good”, you’ll crash. Then you fall right back to that hole you detest.

That’s not to say that you should totally not consume sugar. As with most things, moderation is key, but probably even more so with those suffering from depression. The AHA recommends 6 teaspoons of sugar a day for women, and 9 teaspoons for men.

Get your butt off that sofa.

For people who are not suffering from depression, this is an obvious thing to do. For those who are in a bad place, however, the intuitive action is to stay inside, holed up.

A reason that often comes up is that they won’t be good company anyway. They don’t want to drain their friends’ energy.

Don’t fall for that trap. Go out. Meet friends. It will be difficult to get on your feet, take a shower, and walk out the door, but you’ll thank yourself after.

More than meeting with friends, getting your butt off that sofa means get some physical exercise. You don’t have to go to the gym and workout like you want to be a champion weightlifter. A 20-minute walk everyday (or every other day, if that’s what you can manage at first) will do you wonders. Mental health is improved, and stress is relieve.

There’s science behind this: endorphins, which are chemicals released in the brain when you engage in physical activity. These chemicals reduce your perception of pain and give you an overall positive feeling.

So if you think that talking a walk will only tire you and drain your energy, think twice.

Don’t spend a lot of time on social media.

Social media is a way of interacting with other people without having to actually go out. At least you’re interacting, right? That should help with your depressive feelings.

Nopes.

If you think this is one of the suggestions on how to beat depression, you couldn’t be more wrong.

Research has shown that “people do not advertise their negative traits on their social profiles, nor do they pose unflattering pictures. Because of this strict control of the way we are viewed, we are often fooled into believing other people’s lives are much better than our own.”

[tweetthis ur=”https://www.thedailymind.com/?p=3479″]What is essential to remember is they too wear masks, the way I do, the way everyone does.[/tweetthis]

Don’t meditate for prolonged periods.

But doesn’t everyone know that meditation is good for you? Of course, but it doesn’t mean you have to spend more time you feel is necessary on meditating.

Alan Watts, author of The Meaning of Happiness (1940) and The Wisdom of Insecurity (1951), was rather controversial in how he interpreted zen and tried to “bring” its concepts into the Western world.

…he dismissed the core Zen idea of zazen (which meant spending hours seated in contemplative meditation) as unnecessary. ‘A cat sits until it is tired of sitting, then gets up, stretches, and walks away,’ was his forgiving interpretation of zazen.

More tips on how to beat depression:

How to Beat Depression: Take Baby Steps

15+ Quotes to Beat Depression

Originally posted on April 24, 2015 @ 8:00 am

5 Things to Stop Expecting From People Around You

Mental Health, Mind

Expectations can be the death of you – whether expectations come from others or ourselves. While there is no getting rid of expectations in this world, if we are more mindful, we just might be able to deal with expectations in a better way.

In this post, we’re going to focus on things to stop expecting from people with whom we interact. Whether they are family, friends, or people from the office, regular interaction with these people will always result in us expecting something from them.

If you are having issues because of your expectations, take a look at these five things to stop expecting from people around you. Reading and becoming aware of them will help!

1. Stop expecting others to make you happy.

“Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” ~Og Mandino

This pretty much sums it up, doesn’t it? The thing is, it’s easy to read the quote and repeat it over and over again, but in real life, it’s not always that simple. To a certain degree, we will always be affected by what external circumstances, and that includes what other people do and say.

We can’t control others, but we can control our expectations. If we stop relying on others for our own happiness, if we create situations that will make us happy, then we’ll be much better off.

2. Stop expecting others to think the way you do.

Birds of a feather flock together, but they still don’t always agree with each other, do they?

The world will be a much better place if people can have conversations and agree to disgree. You don’t always have to be right. Your friends, family members, and coworkers don’t always have to think the way you do. Period.

3. Stop expecting others to be “on call” for whenever you need them.

Source

It is always nice to have a shoulder to lean on. There’s always that one friend that will be there beside you in an instant when you call for help. But you can’t expect that to be the case all the time. That’s being needy.

Other people don’t exist for the sole purpose of being there for you whenever you need them. Not your parents, not your siblings, not your partner.

There will be times when they can’t be there. The sooner you understand and accept that, the easier your life will be.

4. Stop expecting others to be how you want them to be.

Sometimes, we have this image of how we want people to be, especially those close to us. We want our partner to be more expressive and show his/her appreciation more. We want our parents to be more hands off. We want our friends to be more present.

These are all good expectations, but what happens when they don’t live up to these expectations?

We get upset. We feel let down. Arguments may ensue.

How to avoid the complications?

Accept people as they are. Express your sentiments, but do not force them on others; and once you’ve expressed yourself, stop projecting your expectations.

5. Stop expecting others to treat you better than you treat yourself.

How do you treat yourself? How much do you show self-respect?

Surely, your circle will see these things, and no one can blame them if they don’t treat you better than how you treat yourself.

If you feel that other people treat you badly, take a step back and analyze how you treat yourself and how they perceive this. Perhaps the answer lies there.

What expectations do you have of others? Do you think they help you or should you let them go?

Here’s more reading on expectations: 13 Quotes to Help You Deal With Expectations

Featured image source

Originally posted on March 31, 2015 @ 8:30 am

14 Ways to Make Someone Smile Any Time

Life, Mental Health

Have you ever had those days when you just feel like the world is

1. Take the first step: smile first. As they say, smile and the world smiles with you. Even better, smile at a stranger. You never know what a person is going through. Your smile might very well make the difference between a horrible day and a great one.

2. Hold the door open for the person behind you. Simple courtesy is taken for granted a lot these days, and being at the receiving end is sure to make one smile.

3. Say thank you to people who are part of your day but you may not know – to the traffic enforcer who helped you cross the street. To the doorman in your building. To the lady manning the elevator. Oh, and say it with a sincere smile.

4. Say thank you to a co-worker, to your boss, to a friend, or to a family member. It doesn’t have to be about something in particular. Just let them know you appreciate them.

5. Bring food to work, and share it with your colleagues. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. The gesture is what counts, and the fact that you can all spend some down time together.

6. Invite someone out to lunch or coffee. Especially if you know the person could use a shoulder.

7. Help a stranger. For example, if you see a mother struggling with her kids, bags, and everything a mom carries around, offer your help. Help an elderly person cross the street.

8. Buy someone at the bar a drink. While this has the potential to be misconstrued, use your judgement. If you spot someone who looks like he/she could use a break, send a drink their way.

9. Give up your seat in the bus or subway. Sometimes I think that people who do this voluntarily is a rare and dying breed. Prove me wrong. Give up your seat without hesitation if you see that another person could use the seat more than you do.

10. Buy a stranger coffee. While waiting in line for coffee, buy someone a cup of coffee.

11. Give food to the homeless. Depending on where you live/work, you’re bound to pass by a homeless person every day. Instead of merely walking by, prepare some food or buy something from the deli and give hand it over.

12. Give a generous tip. You may tip regularly, but once in a while, splurge a little. Especially if you see that your server looks like he/she needs a pick-me-upper.

13. Compliment someone. Say something genuinely nice about someone’s hair, clothes, or even socks.

14. Take a silly photo of yourself and send it to a friend or loved one. Selfie syndrome aside, a little silliness is good for the heart.

It doesn’t take much to make people smile – strangers and friends alike. All you really need is to be genuine, and you can be the source of a smile epidemic. 😉

Lessons From India 4: The Importance of a Smile

Featured image source

Originally posted on March 11, 2015 @ 1:00 pm

How to Beat Depression: Take Baby Steps

Mental Health, Mind

Depression is so prevalent, but it is something that’s not often talked about in the open. For those who have had to deal with clinical depression, there remains a certain degree of stigma associated with the condition.

This shouldn’t be the case, as being depressed in itself is one of the most terrible things that can happen to a person.

The good news is that there are treatments – medication or natural methods – that can help. However, even when you’re undergoing treatment, there will still be days when you feel as if the weight of the world was on your shoulders.

When you find yourself facing those moments, remember our main tip on how to beat depression: take baby steps.

Here are some simple, “baby things” which you can do when you’re feeling extremely low.

1. Remind yourself you’re not alone.

One of the thoughts that can bring a depressed person to the edge is that he’s alone. No one understands what he’s going through. He’ll have to handle everything on his own.

If you think this way, STOP.

If there is one thing you need to remember, it is this: You are definitely not alone.

You may not realize it, especially in the throes of a low period, but there are people who care about you and your well-being – your family, your friends, your doctors, and even fellow depressed people who may not know you but feel for others who are in the same boat.

Just thinking about this will help you get out of a dark moment, even if slowly. And, if you approach someone close to you in this moment, it will be even better.

2. Do whatever it is you need to do at the moment of extreme stress due to depression.

Depression is difficult to explain to those who haven’t experienced it – and we’re talking about clinical depression, not just bad days/bad moods.

One thing is for sure, though: for a depressed person, there are low moments so intense so much so that it seems there is no hope. At all.

These are the moments that pose the most danger, so instead of going over to the dark side, so to speak, do whatever it is that will make you feel better – even if just a tad – right away.

Call your doctor.

Call your sister or your best friend – whomever is closest to you and you feel comfortable talking to.

Cook.

Do yoga.

Whatever it is that you know will help at that moment, do it. Don’t hesitate.

3. Create/plan one thing a day that will cheer you up.

Over the months, this step is what has worked best for me. Instead of dreading waking up because of not wanting to face the day, why not plan at least one thing for the day that you will look forward to?

It’s a great way of relaxing at night before bedtime, too.

A coffee meetup with a friend at a laidback cafe.

A tub of ice cream at the end of the day.

A walk in the park in the afternoon.

A leisurely breakfast before going to work.

These are little things, but if you have at least one thing that you enjoy and can look forward to during the day, your chances of having a low will diminish.

4. Meet with friends as much as you can.

Depressed people tend to shy away from company.

“I am not good company right now, so why should I meet with others?”

“I just don’t feel like socializing.”

The rationalizations can go on and on, but studies – and personal experiences – have shown that socializing helps beat depression.

Even if you’re introverted, the chances are that you still have a handful of good friends. Make it a point to meet with them – or one of them – from time to time if you can’t do it once a week. Or, at least talk via the phone or messaging.

Human contact does wonders, even if you may not want to admit it. Just try it in small doses. It will still help.

15+ Quotes to Beat Depression

Originally posted on March 3, 2015 @ 8:30 am

10 Things to Do Before You Unleash Your Anger to the World

Life, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Personal Growth

Anger is a very dangerous thing. When you’re angry, you make the whole world know about it through actions. By expressing your anger, you are able to act upon this negative emotion, thus ridding yourself from bad feelings in the process.

On the downside, the consequences of your actions while you’re angry may cause irreparable damage to yourself and your relationship with others.

It is so easy to do something rash and illogical when you’re angry because you may use it as an excuse to explain your actions, allowing you to recompense people you have done wrong. However, anger is never an excuse. You have the ability to manage and defuse your anger. Instead, you decided to act upon it without thinking of the harm you’re doing. By the time you realize this, it might be too late to ask for forgiveness and make amends.

Therefore, before letting anger take hold of you, restrain yourself from doing anything until you’ve done the following first:

1. Get out from the place that’s making you angry

If you’re with company or in an environment that triggered your anger, find a way to excuse yourself politely from the situation and retreat to a place where you can find comfort and peace of mind.

2. Calm yourself down

Focusing on taking deep breaths work best to help you compose yourself. Another method to soothe yourself is to count from one to 10 and back. If you want to do other ways on to get your act together, read “Angry? Tips to Calm Down on the Spot.”

3. Identify the source of anger

Trace back to the events that led to you getting angry. Rationalize how these instances made you angry. From here, you can also determine if your anger has been misplaced because you simply misunderstood something.

4. Come up with a solution

Once you have determined the cause of your anger, it’s time to find a reasonable way of acting upon it. Putting your thinking caps on during these times places back logic in the driver’s seat and your emotions in the back burner. This way, it allows you to clear your head and make rational decisions from this point on.

5. Talk to someone

If you can’t find a solution to your anger, find someone that you trust and talk your feelings and thoughts over with them. Since they have a much better perspective of the entire situation – once you’ve walked them through it – they can provide you with more actionable ways of addressing your situation.

6. Create a platform to discuss your anger

Confront the issue that is causing you to be angry. If it’s a person, find a way to create dialogue and talk about how he or she has done you wrong. If it’s an event, articulate your emotions in your journal or blog.

7. Make your anger exclusive to yourself

When talking to someone who has caused your anger, address your negative emotions by starting every sentence with, “I feel…” This way, you don’t make the person feel like you’re attacking them.

8. Keep cool!

It is possible that dealing with the situation head on can fuel your anger even more, especially if the situation escalates. If you feel you are on the verge of losing it, don’t. If necessary, repeat the first tip of this list and start all over again.

9. Forgive

Once your anger issues have been resolved, find in your heart to not only forgive the cause of your anger, but also yourself for almost letting your emotion get the best of you.

10. Be happy!

Move on from anger and onto greater things. Focus on your dreams and aspirations, as well as doing the things you love for the people you care about. More important, keep a positive disposition at all times so you can move on from your anger much easier.

Once you’ve done everything above, you can guarantee that your anger has dissipated and the only thing you’ll unleash is goodwill and great joy to all!

Originally posted on November 24, 2014 @ 7:00 am

20 Ways to Relax Your Mind and Body

Body, Mental Health, Mind

Life is unpredictable, and while there are times when you feel like you’re on the top of the world, there are times when you just need to be able to relax your mind and body. Pronto.

When these moments happen, you do not have to panic and stress yourself out even more. Here are 20 ways you can relax your mind and body quickly and easily. [Read more…] about 20 Ways to Relax Your Mind and Body

Originally posted on July 29, 2014 @ 9:00 am