The Daily Mind

Daily Steps To Mindful Living

Mental Health

Is there a link between our emotions and physical pain?

Mental Health, Mind

When we think about pain, it is generally to do with the physical causes – such as an injury caused through a fall, or a headache caused by staring at a computer for too long. But how often do we consider the fact that there could be an emotional reason for our ailments?

There is a growing belief among complementary therapists that our emotional state can often hold the key to the pains or illnesses we suffer from, and this is a topic I’m going to explore in this blog post. [Read more…] about Is there a link between our emotions and physical pain?

Originally posted on January 28, 2012 @ 8:14 pm

How to use the power of positive affirmations

Inspiration, Mental Health, Mind, Personal Growth, Spirit

Since recently coming back from my travels around south east Asia, I’ve been feeling a bit unfocused and unsure of what the future holds. In order to tackle this, I’ve started practising positive affirmations; something I’ve always found useful in focusing my mind and combating any negative thoughts that creep in. So, for this blog post, I’m going to talk about affirmations: what are they, why should we practise them and how can they help us?

A thinking Man
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[Read more…] about How to use the power of positive affirmations

Originally posted on January 18, 2012 @ 11:40 am

The Lifetime Guide to Staying Emotionally Healthy

Mental Health, Mind

“A clear understanding of negative emotions dismisses them.” – Vernon Howard

Stress, depression, panic attacks and anxiety. The modern world is overflowing with emotional problems of all different kinds. And chances are you or someone you know has suffered from some form of emotionally unhealthy state. So how can we avoid these problems? Are there things we can do to prevent them coming about?

In this post I am going to present the lifetime guide to staying emotionally healthy. I hope it helps someone out there.

What is emotional health?

Before I present any ideas about emotional health I need to define it. Without a solid idea we really won’t know what were talking about and we will get lost.

Emotional health is not a single state of mind like “pleasure” or “joy” but an ongoing process. Emotional health is a conversation, a journey and above all it is work. It will change and you will go up and down. Even the most emotionally healthy person will have bad days. But those bad days are all part of the process, and they’re aware of it.

Emotional health is all about gathering new tools and methods to constantly better your mind. It is flux.

To be emotionally healthy you need to spend a lot of time being open and learning. As soon as you close your mind to new ideas or information you cut yourself off from the possibility of being healthy. This post could perhaps serve as a starting point. It is by no means the end point. Read, research, study and practice. And never give up, because emotional health is an ongoing process.

Why is emotional health so important?

Mediating [Struggle For Pleasure]
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I have always found it extremely interesting that today’s society will place a massive emphasis on physical well being but almost nothing is done about the mental state. Unless you are suffering from serious depression or some other mental illness, you don’t hear anything about “working on your mind” or “developing emotional health”. And this is quite troubling.

Imagine how happy we could be if we spent as much time working with our emotions as we did running on the treadmill or cooking a healthy dinner. Imagine how different the world would be if there was less anger and more compassion. I think it would be a very different place.

What I am going to show you in this post, however, is that you don’t need to necessarily sit on a cushion or take separate time out to become emotionally healthy. In fact, going to the gym and cooking a nice meal is a big part of emotional health. Stick around and see if you learn something new and, as always, leave a comment if I have forgotten anything.

The lifetime guide to staying emotionally healthy

Norbulinka, the Dalai Lama's Summer Palace
Creative Commons License photo credit: fairlybuoyant

Now for the main bulk of the post. Here I am going to present some ideas that you can use work with your emotions in order to become more emotionally healthy. Remember, this is a long term project that you will have to stick at for the rest of your life. You will, however, start to see results right away.

1. Understand you are in control of your emotions
The very first step you need to take on this journey is to realize that you are in control of your emotions. This fact is lost on the modern world; many of us become slaves to anger and depression and stress. But when you turn that around and start to understand that you are the boss of what goes on in your head, you are suddenly left with a very workable situation. Without this understanding, however, no progress can be made.

2. Become familiar with your mind through meditation
Once you have conviction that you are in control of your emotions, you need to become familiar with them through meditation. Now, meditation does not mean sitting on a cushion saying “OOMMM” over and over. Sure it can be that, but it is not only that. The way to meditate is to constantly bring your attention to your thoughts and just let your mind relax in that.

The Tibetan word for meditation is “gom” which means “to familiarize”. This gives us a great insight into what meditation is supposed to be. It is not about relaxing so much as it is about familiarizing ourselves with positive states of mind. Compassion, love, patience, silence. And the very interesting thing about meditation is that these states of mind arise naturally when you just start to look at your mind.

How does this work? Simple. According to Buddhism the nature of every being is compassionate. We are not inherently evil and we are not naturally sinners. Naturally we are compassionate but we have lost connection with that innate part of our being. But looking at the mind re-connects us with that state because we all of a sudden get in control of our minds. And when we get in control of our minds the first thing we feel is sadness for all those people out there who are still struggling. It is an intensely powerful moment in your life.

If you want to learn more about meditation you can check back on some of my other articles:

One of the best things you can do for yourself if you want to become happy and proficient in controlling your mind is learn from someone who has already done it. There are so many wonderful meditation teachers in our world, I encourage you to connect with one. And that leads us to our next point.

3. Connect with good people and avoid bad company
A few weeks ago I wrote an article about avoiding bad company which ruffled up some feathers. A got a few emails that day saying that I was a disloyal friend and that you should stick by your mates even if they are bad for you. Okay, fine. I agree. You should stick by your bad mates if you are able to do so without them being a negative influence on you. But when you see yourself in a downward spiral it is time to leave them alone.

Surrounding yourself with good company is one of the most important life lessons a person can learn. Once a dear friend of mine told me that you will become the average of your five closest friends so make sure you choose wisely. I did. I chose people who were happy, successful and who worked for the betterment of others. I very rarely spend time with people who are selfish, hateful and bigoted. The Buddha once said:

“Put a rose in a sack of fish and soon the rose starts to stink too.”

Now there is no problem visiting people with the motivation of helping them or cheering them up. That is a wonderful thing to do. But if you are best friends with a drug addict racist who starts to rub off on you then you are in for problems. If you want to be emotionally healthy you need to surround yourself with people who are living a life you wish to emulate. Let them rub off on you.

4. Practice ethical behavior to avoid depression, anxiety and fear
Once you have become familiar with your mind and have made a commitment to stay emotionally healthy it is important to live an ethical life. Without a solid basis of ethical behavior there is no chance for long term happiness. So why are ethics so important? Let’s take a look.

Grande Dame
Creative Commons License photo credit: Daniel Greene

The first thing you will notice about an unethical or mean person is that they have very few true friends. They may have followers or people around them who latch on out of fear, but they have no trusted confidants. And that is a very lonely place to be. In fact, it is a situation that will eventually drive you crazy.

It is also important to realize that negative acts come back to you. If you spend your life stealing or cheating on your girlfriends the chances are your reputation will come back to haunt you. And I am not just talking about other people being mad at you. Soon you will begin to feel guilty. Imagine living your whole life hurting others and to be in the last stages of your life and feel intense regret. It would be an emotion so crippling that you would struggle to cope. Life your life without regrets.

5. Read the masters and scholars of the past
Will Smith is a Hollywood star that many people admire for his staunch opposition to gangster rap that denigrates women and encourages violence and his lifetime pursuit of being a “nice guy”. A few years ago I saw a video of Will Smith speaking to thousands of kids at a Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards ceremony. What he said really knocked my socks off.

The human race has an amazing history full of struggles and hardships. But out of those hardships have come some amazing thinkers. There have been men and women who, instead of picking up a sword or gun, have sat thinking. Their messages have been passed down the generations long after the wars were over. And now we are left with a gold mine of knowledge and wisdom. These people left a legacy that we should feel honored to be a part of and study. Like Will said, there are no new problems. If you want to be emotionally healthy you need to take a look at what the great adepts of the past have thought and said about being emotionally healthy.

Let me give you a little introduction to a few great minds that have affected my life. A starting point for you.

The Buddha was a revolutionary, possibly the first of his kind. He sat under a tree and developed theories that have served as the basis for most philosophical thinking. Start with the Buddha’s teachings and work your way forward through history. Study the European philosophers and the masters of meditation from India, China and Japan. Do this and you will be well on your way to emotional health.

6. Avoid man made food, eat naturally
For most of my youth I failed to recognize the link between food and depression. I, like most teenagers, ate a lot of fast food and drank a lot of sugary sodas. And I felt crap, all the time. If you want long term emotional health you need to be very careful about what you put in your body.

To prove this point to yourself I want you to go out and buy the most unhealthy lunch you can. McDonald’s, Burger King, KFC or some other deep fried animal should do the trick. Now watch your mind for the next two hours. Are you more irritable? Are you more depressed and tired? Are you quicker to anger? I bet you are. Now for dinner I want you to have a meal that contains nothing man made. That means no pasta, baked goods or anything produced in a factory. Make something full of colorful vegetables and natural products. Avoid meat if you can. Now watch your mind for the next two hours. How much more energetic, happy and alive do you feel?

The thing about food is that it can change your life. If you eat poorly you are more likely to get cancer, heart disease and diabetes. If you eat well you can live longer, avoid illness and look super sexy. So why do we always opt for the bad choice? Laziness? I’m not sure. Eating well is a big part of being emotionally healthy.

7. Enjoy the middle
Quite often the reason we get unhealthy emotionally is because we do things in excess. Instead of partying once a week we do it four times a week. Instead of eating junk food on the weekends we eat it on the weekdays. Instead of having one coffee per day we have seven. A key to being emotionally healthy is doing things in moderation. Quite often it isn’t that something is inherently bad for us, it is just that we do it too often.

8. Develop strength in your own personal set of values
Emotional health is not just avoid depression and learning to cope with stress. That is just a tiny fraction of what we are talking about. Emotional health is also become a less angry person, considering other human beings in a different way and improving yourself on a variety of levels. One of the ways you can improve your emotional health is to develop a set of values and stick to them.

Last Winter, at the Lake
Creative Commons License photo credit: margolove

When I was in high school I remember hearing that “the measure of a man is by how quickly he gets angry“. I found this statement to be extremely inspiring and decided then and there that I was going to avoid anger at all costs. The more I looked into the statement the more I realized how much other people respected calm, strong and un-angry people. This was something I was going to follow through.

Over time life has thrown me many more of these lessons. Compassion, love, patience. All of these ideas I have tried to adopt into my own persona and stick to them no matter what. And it has been an amazing source of strength. Whenever I feel my emotional state slipping I remind myself of who I want to be and whip myself back on track.

Conclusion

Emotional health is all about working with your mind and your body to achieve some sort of personal mastery. It is a long process and along the way you will inevitably stagger, fault and make mistakes. But these mistakes all serve to make you stronger. If you want to stay emotionally healthy for your entire life you need to explore your mind, read philosophy, take care of your body and avoid extremes. If you can do even a few of these you will be far better equipped than the majority of the population.

So how emotionally healthy are you? Do you do most of these things already or do you have work to do? Most important, what have I missed?

Originally posted on November 25, 2009 @ 2:35 am

Technology: The Reason You are Stressed, Depressed and Bored

Life, Mental Health, Mind

bus
Creative Commons License photo credit: Bert Kommerij

“In Tibet you would send a letter and not expect a reply for six months. Now if people send an email and don’t get a reply in 30 seconds they get angry.” – Tai Situ

How long can you go without checking your email? If you find a juicy bit of gossip do you have to Tweet it to everyone you know? Do you SMS more than you talk? Most of us do.And it is making us stressed, depressed and utterly bored with life.

In this post I want to talk about how I believe technology is causing us a lot of problems. In particular I hope the parents reading this will carefully consider the impact all this technology is having on their children.

What technology?

I am going to refer to “technology” a lot in this post so I thought I should clear up what I am talking about. Basically I am referring to media like Twitter, Facebook, iPhones and iPods, Blackberrys, etc. Technology that is providing entertainment. I am not referring to advances in medicine, international travel, etc.

The iPhone, the cafe and addiction

A few days ago I was sitting in a cafe waiting for a friend. I noticed that a lot of people were sitting alone and almost every one of them had an iPhone or Blackberry. Every new visitor to the cafe sat down and within 20 second was flipping away on the phone looking for apps, news or Twitter.

This, to me, is the epitome of the problem with technology – we cannot live without it. This media has become so addictive and we have come to rely on it so much, we wouldn’t know how to live without the constant stimulation. And therein lies the problem.

Technology and its links to stress, depression and boredom

Boredom
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We are constantly stimulated by technology. We are constantly in need of a “hit” and over time that need escalates, just like the need for a drug. We are addicted to technology and it is causing stress, depression and boredom. Here’s why:

Technology and stress
The reason I believe technology is causing us to be stresses is simple – we are speeding up too much. Our lives are lived in a constant rush and this is majorly caused by advancing technologies. Think about the news; 10 years ago if you wanted news you had to wait for the evening report or the paper in the morning. Now if you want news you go on Twitter to see if there is any Trending Topics or you jump on your mobile to see what the latest news app is saying. Its fast.

And while I can see the upsides to this (great access to information, etc.) I am also acutely aware that it is causing people problems. They cannot go for very long without an update. They feel like everything has to be done at a cracking pace. And they get stressed when they haven’t had a hit in a while.

Leo Babauta over at Zen Habits has a new eBook out which is all about living simply with minimal clutter. This is what he is talking about. All the technology and speed that we have in our lives is making us stressed and the sad thing is, we don’t need to be.

Technology and depression
The relationship between technology and depression is more subtle but I wanted to write about it because I have experienced it myself. I would love to hear some reader feedback about this one.

As my long time readers will know, I used to be a bit of a gamer. My brother and I would spend hours play Call of Duty, Counter Strike and even World of Warcraft. But after a while we both started noticing something – we were depressed. There was a really empty feeling that just wouldn’t go away. After a while we linked it to the games because we realized that we were so overstimulated and when the games were off we hit a low; kind of like a sugar hit that inevitably leads to a crash. But it was more long lasting and powerful.

And media and technology are like that. We are constantly Tweeting, Facebooking and listening to music that when it all stops at the end of the day we feel depressed. Our senses finally get a moment to relax and we feel terrible. We feel alone. I think that technology is making a lot of us depressed.

Technology and boredom
The last one is obvious as it is closely tied in with the other two. Technology is making us bored. Why? Because we need bigger and bigger hits. Listening to music is no longer exciting, we need a massive show or an LCD screen in our music player. The addition to stimulation is escalating.

I actually think this phenomena is quite dangerous as the younger generation now needs bigger hits to be entertained. The simple pleasures in life are no longer enough because they have experienced amazing things all the time from such a young age. I think it has a lot to do with why drugs and alcoholism are so prevalent. But I could be wrong.

Next time you have a break from work become aware of what you want to do. I am betting you shy away from relaxing and sitting back and grab for a phone, a TV or some Facebook action. Being still and alone is no longer enough for us.

Creating a need, not solving a problem

The interesting thing about this media and technology is that the new innovations do not solve a problem or need, they create one. In the old days marketing firms would sit down and think about some problems that people had and then try to create a technology to solve that problem. Not anymore! Now they create technologies and make us feel like we need it. In fact, I now think that these things create more problems than they solve.

What do you think?

Originally posted on September 15, 2009 @ 11:36 pm

Say “No” to Television: Why TV is Your Worst Habit

Mental Health, Mind


Creative Commons License photo credit: Loving Earth

Television has become like sleep; you just can’t do without it. Every day hundreds of millions of people around the world sit down and spend time watching their favorite shows. In fact, people love TV so much they might even spend a few hours watching programs that they don’t even like! No where else does this happen. No body goes to a baseball game if they hate baseball. But people will watch bad TV just because they love TV.

In this post I want to show you why TV is your worst habit. I want to talk about why I think millions of us will regret the day we ever turned that thing on. Hopefully someone out there learns to say “no” to television.

How much TV do you watch?

Before I get into the meat of this post I want to ask you all how much TV you watch. Now be honest. Take a good look at your week and think about how many hours you have spent laying on the couch just watching whatever is on. Did you catch the news at six? Did you make it up til Letterman? Did you catch Lost or Scrubs or any of those prime time shows? Perhaps you got them all?

Once you have figure out how much TV you watched last week I want you to leave a comment and tell us. Be brutally honest. How many hours of TV do reader of The Daily Mind watch per week?

Why TV is your worst habit


Creative Commons License photo credit: tim caynes

Now that you have established how many hours you are watching I would like to give you a few reasons why I think TV is a bad habit. If you agree with me or disagree with me please share your thoughts.

1. You can’t get that time back
Life is short. It is fleeting. You have no idea when you are going to die and with that uncertainty comes a real sense of urgency. You will never get that time back. All those days you decided to just watch a few more programs are gone forever. Those hours of your life are gone.

2. It takes away from important tasks
All throughout my childhood my father watched a lot of TV. I remember getting up every morning and getting ready for school while he sat and read the paper and watched the finance news. Then he would come home around 6pm and turn on the new again. We’d eat dinner and I’d go to bed. The whole day I would spend no more than 20 minutes with my father.

And then I moved out. Now I never see him. Maybe twice a month in a good month. And I know he regrets it. He has actually told me that he wished he turned the TV off and just want to a game with me or played some chess. Now we never see each other and he regrets it. You will too.

3. It is never ending
Television is very addictive. You get to sit on a comfortable couch with a nice drink and some snacks and do exactly nothing while the networks get better and better at keeping you there. During the good TV shows like Scrubs and 30 Rock you get commercials for the crap that is going to be on afterward and so you sit there instead of going to bed. And then you are too tired to get up in the morning and do something useful.

But it doesn’t end there. Television stations suck you in for new TV programs that are about to be launched. So instead of being satisfied by a good TV show you are now thirsty for the next thing that is going to be on. TV watching is never ending. You are never satisfied.

4. It makes you numb
Television makes you numb. And it makes you numb because you have spent years now watching everything that has ever been invented. You watch comedy, drama, movies, reality TV, documentaries, porn… everything. Any human experience that you can think of you have already seen it on the TV. And now you are numb. Things don’t excite you as much. Life doesn’t give you the same innocent buzz that it used to. The media has killed that buzz and replaced it with an urge to sit and do nothing.

Your brain is less active when you watch TV than when you sleep. It is numbing. It is relaxing. But you never really get more relaxed. You just want more.

5. It makes you lazy
Television, more than anything else, makes you a lazy person. Going to the gym seems like climbing Mount Everest because you have spent so much time sitting there with a numb mind doing nothing. And when you finally realize that you are out of shape and quit unhealthy you are too lazy to do anything about it. Sad.

I believe there is a direct relationship between how much TV you watch and how much you accomplish in life. The more TV you watch the less you will achieve. Whether it is a happy family, a good career, a fit and healthy body or a loving marital sex life – TV compromises all of those things. And it is not just because it takes up all of your time, it is because all of that stuff seems far too hard.

6. It changes your personality
How many times today have you quoted Bart Simpson or said something from your favorite TV show? My best friend and I are constantly quoting Scrubs lines. When something good happens we say, “Eagle!” like Turk and JD and when I answer the phone he calls me Vanilla Bear. I often wonder what we would talk like if we had never watched Scrubs.

Television changes your personality. You absorb so much of the characters on the screen that you forget to think for yourself. You just mirror what they do. You might be cynical like House or funny like Liz Lemon or witty like David Letterman. But where are YOU in all of that? Where have your own original thoughts gone? What about your political opinions? Are they are own or are you just mimicking Bill O’Reilly or some other talk show host? TV changes your personality to the point that you forget to think for yourself. And that is scary.

Say “No” to television for one week

I am proposing a radical plan. Turn off the TV for one week. Just for seven short days. See how much more you get done. See how much more exercise and sleep you get. Feel how much happier and healthier you feel. Discover how much more you can do with your time on Earth. At first you will feel the separation anxiety. The TV will call you. Resist it and find out how strong you really are.

Will you do it?

Originally posted on April 9, 2009 @ 3:26 am

How to Let Go of the Past and Not Fear Your Future – PART 2

Healing, Meditation, Mental Health, Mind, Spirit


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“When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened.” – John M. Richardson, Jr.

A few days ago we looked at how to let go of the past; the first article in our two part series on letting go of the past and facing the future. Today we are going to go over part two – learning how to not fear your future. I hope something I write is helpful to someone out there.

Letting go of the past is necessary before you face your future

The reason I spent the first article talking about letting go of the past is because it is necessary to do so before you can face your future with any real sense of fearlessness. Those people who have accepted their mistakes/failures and moved on from times gone by are much better equipped to deal with what is going to happen in their future.

If you are really serious about learning to face your future with bravery you need to let go of the past. Accept your failures and mistakes and let go of that baggage.

How to not fear your future


Creative Commons License photo credit: jiulliano

I have always found it extremely interesting how some people are caught in the past while others are terrified of the future. I don’t know why, but it always seems as though we are trapped in one extreme and never balanced in the middle.

When you fear the future you are unable to truly live in the present moment. You destroy your chances for happiness because you spend all your time worrying about what is going to happen instead of enjoying the life you actually have. Here are some suggestions that might help you move away from fearing the future. If you can apply these to your situation you will, hopefully, be able to find some happiness.

1. Understand that the future is uncertain
If you think that something bad is going to happen down the track you need to realize that this is uncertain. No body knows what is going to happen even a few hours from now, let alone ten years down the road.

If you find yourself worrying about the future it is important to remind yourself that it is uncertain as to what is going to happen. Your situation might not be as bleak as you think. In fact, what you understand that the future is uncertain you will be well equipped to understand the second point.

2. The future can be created
Your future is in your hands. No body is going to make anything happen for you unless you go out and try to achieve it yourself. Now, instead of being depressed by this fact it is important to realize that you are in an extremely hopeful place. You are living in a time and a place where opportunities are everywhere. At no other time in history have human beings been able to give up their livelihood and search for something new or something better. But we can.

Why fear the future when we have control over it? Why worry about the next few days or weeks when we know we can do something about it now? And while everyone tells you to live in the present moment you still need to make preparations for tomorrow. That is fine as long as you do it with mindfulness and awareness.

3. Realize that things change slowly
When I was in India a few years ago I was staying in a Buddhist Monastery where a very powerful Tibetan lama was staying. People often reported that being near this particular lama caused powerful emotions to arise and you could either deal with them or let them scare you away. Well, I decided to deal with them. True to legend I started having very emotional thoughts about the future. I was scared. Panicked even. I was worrying about where I was going to be, who I was going to be with and whether I’d ever be happy.

After a few hours of this emotional mess I had a bit of a breakthrough. Although it wasn’t anything like a sudden realization or awakening moment, it has stayed with me my entire life. I understood that things change slowly. It does not all happen at once. You do not wake up one day and all your friends are dead and you have no one to talk to. Things change slowly. When you understand this fact you give yourself a lot more room to move – it is not as scary.

4. Meditate on mindfulness
Mindfulness meditation is one of the premier ways to deal with a fear of the future. Why? Because it brings you in touch with the present moment better than almost anything else. And when you can do that you will find that all of your fears and worries dissolve of their own accord.


Creative Commons License photo credit: hylah

Again, I want to point you to this article on meditating on mindfulness. It is simple to do and extremely effective. As soon as you notice that you are becoming worried about the future begin the meditation. Focus on the breath going in and out of the nose. Count the breaths. Relax. Once you become expert at this you will find that your thoughts no longer control you as much – you learn to see through their illusion. Perhaps your idea of the future was just a false concept that you cooked up?

5. Remember you are not alone
Community is a very important thing. Human beings are social creatures and, more often than not, they need the love and affection of other humans. This is important to remember when you are thinking about the future. You need to remind yourself that you will always have people who love you.

Let me give you an example. A few days ago I was getting quite uptight at the possibility that I might have to leave my home town to go and live in another city. The idea really frightened me – leaving my friends and family behind. But, after a while I realized that a lot of my good friends are now overseas doing other things. We stay in contact on email or sms and usually see each other once or twice a year. Furthermore, I realized that I could always call home or book a flight back for the weekend. No matter how lonely your prospects of the future might seem remember that you are never alone.

And, if worst comes to worst, you can always chat to me on Twitter. I will be happy to be a shoulder to lean on.

6. The future is the same as the monster under your bed
The final thing that I want to say is that worrying about your future is the same as worrying about the monster that was under your bed when you were four. Essentially, us grown adults, are worrying about something that doesn’t exist. The future has not come about yet. It is not a solid thing that will hurt you.

The future is like the monster under your bed – recognize that it is a concept created by your own mind and you will have a great deal of power over it.

Conclusion

Letting go of the past and not fearing the future can be hard. But it is important to try and do it. If you can learn to live in the present moment your life will be a lot more spontaneous and joyful. It will be a lot lighter and spacious and you will feel less stressed and trapped.

If anyone has any other tips on how to not fear the future please leave a comment. I would love to hear what you have to say.

Originally posted on March 20, 2009 @ 4:50 am