Human relationships, essentially, will always have their share of grief and sorrow. But learning how to get up again and bounce back from life’s disappointments will benefit you in more ways than you think. When you move on from a hurtful experience and refuse to be resentful and bitter, you’ll soon realize that the quality of your life is enhanced and you find that the once elusive peace, harmony and joy are right there within you. You learn how to be kinder, more compassionate and generous. And you’ll be surprised when the people in your life give them back to you a hundredfold.
Here are positive traits to develop so that when you encounter disappointments, you can accept and overcome them, and emerge a better person for it.
Learn to forgive.
Forgiving someone who has wronged you in a terrible way sounds impossible. And it may be, because the common perception of forgiveness is to forget what that person has done and let them back into your life like nothing happened. But forgiveness has to do with how you confront the wrong done to you; it doesn’t have to involve the other party. When you forgive, you accept that it happened, it caused you pain and you make peace with that knowledge; then you let it go and bring it to closure. It’s not necessary to reconnect with the person who hurt you. They may not be worth it. But don’t harbor bitterness and resentment against them either.
‘Forgiveness means cleansing your soul of “what might have been,” “what should have been,” and “what didn’t have to happen” – Harold Kushner
Develop resilience.
Disappointment stems from many causes – unmet expectations, betrayal, defeat. When these happen, it’s normal to feel like giving up or sulking. But bear in mind that setbacks are unavoidable and, in the grand scheme of things, what happened to you is no worse than other people’s problems.
To be resilient is to bounce back from life’s disappointments and look for solutions to overcome them. A relationship fell short of what you expected, a promotion went to a co-worker when you felt you deserved it, friends or family did not deliver. Put these blows in their proper perspective. What’s the worst that can happen? It’s better to know your prospective partner now than later, the non-promotion is the impetus you need to double up your efforts in your job, and accept other people for what they are, not what you want them to be.
[tweetthis url=”https://www.thedailymind.com/happiness/4-ways-to-bounce-back-from-lifes-disappointments/”]“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good…” – Elizabeth Edwards[/tweetthis]
Lower your expectations.
Expectations are borne out of the beliefs you grew up with. It was foisted on you by your elders and formed from what you observed during your impressionable years. Growing up to adulthood, you feel disappointed when people do not behave according to your standards and events play out contrary to what you expected. Unmet expectations lead to anxiety, anger, hurt and disappointment. Expectations also come from a sense of entitlement. You have an unspoken demand for people to behave according to your standards because you feel superior to them.
To avoid being disappointed, keep an open mind. Discard the guidelines you have set for everyone else to follow. Be more accepting of other people’s behaviors, thoughts and opinions without having to agree with them or having to defend your own views.
[tweetthis url=”https://www.thedailymind.com/happiness/4-ways-to-bounce-back-from-lifes-disappointments/”]“Blessed are they who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.” – the 9th Beatitude[/tweetthis]
Cultivate humility.
Contrary to most people’s understanding, humility is not being a wimp, or allowing others to abuse you, or denying your skills and talents. Rather, humility is letting go of the ego. When you set your ego aside
- You don’t become defensive or feel the need to win arguments
- You don’t seek revenge for a wrong done to you
- You can say “I’m sorry” without feeling small
- You don’t seek applause if you have done something good
Being all these, you treat disappointments as inevitable in your life and you know that they will pass, but life goes on anyway, so you just make the best of it.
[tweetthis url=”https://www.thedailymind.com/happiness/4-ways-to-bounce-back-from-lifes-disappointments/”]“Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues.” – Confucius[/tweetthis]
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Originally posted on April 23, 2015 @ 10:29 pm
