The Daily Mind

Daily Steps To Mindful Living

anxiety

5 ways that social activities can help to ease depression

I wanna hold your hand
When you are suffering with depression it’s all too easy to shut yourself away from the outside world. Shunning human company often seems like the safest option.

The symptoms of depression are many and varied, but range from continuous low mood and sadness to feeling hopeless and helpless, having no motivation or interest and not getting any enjoyment out of life. It’s therefore unsurprising that many people with depression struggle to socialise and find it easier to withdraw from the world. Indeed this is one of the telltale signs that a person may be suffering with a depressive episode.

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Originally posted on September 4, 2013 @ 4:10 pm

How to Deal with Anxiety without Taking Medication

Anxiety is a normal emotion everyone feels in response to perceived threats. It is something we all have to deal with on a day to day basis and, though always an uncomfortable feeling, can actually be beneficial for us since it can make us more focused and be more motivated to solve problems in a more efficient manner.

xanax anxiety meds

Photo Credit: Dean

The problem with anxiety is, therefore, not the feeling itself but a person’s inability to cope with it in a healthy manner on a day to day basis resulting in chronic anxiety. For many, having chronic anxiety means seeking relief through medication. Unfortunately, this tack often brings with it a new set of problems as its many adverse side effects end up affecting the patient’s quality of life. While in some extreme cases medication is undoubtedly essential, a more natural approach to anxiety reduction is often enough and may even be more beneficial in the long run. Furthermore, whether taking medicines or not, it is critical that you acquire other tools to deal with anxiety if you don’t want to be dependent on your anxiety meds all your life.

So just how can you deal with anxiety without taking medication?

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Originally posted on August 9, 2013 @ 11:09 pm

The importance of proper breathing

Most of us don’t give a second thought to the way we breathe – it’s just something that we do subconsciously. And yet proper breathing is essential to good health and wellbeing. Poor breathing can cause us to feel fatigued, reduces alertness and can increase feelings of anxiety. However, breathing correctly can help to reduce stress and anxiety, improve our ability to exercise and can even help to boost our immunity.

By breathing properly we are giving our brain and other vital organs the right amount of oxygen and essential nutrients they need to function optimally. However, things such as stress, anxiety and poor posture can change the way in which we breathe.
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Originally posted on January 27, 2013 @ 10:22 pm

How to fight your fears

Most people experience fear or anxiety in some form or other and stress and worry are very much on the increase during these uncertain times. More and more people are turning to antidepressants or other prescription drugs in order to cope with stress and anxiety. For this blog post I thought I’d take a look at some holistic self-help techniques to help you banish your fears the natural way.

The quick anxiety stopper
The quick anxiety stopper is a useful technique I learnt from an EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) practitioner. EFT works by tapping specific energy points on the body whilst mentally or verbally tuning into the problem you want to address. The idea is that disturbances in the energy flow are removed, along with the emotional response and anxiety. The quick anxiety stopper involves tapping on three specific energy points. Start by tapping gently with one hand under your eye, then under your arm with a flat hand in line where a bra strap would lie, then with a flat hand tapping the side of the upper chest just under the collarbone. After tapping these points for a few seconds, take a deep breath and then exhale. Repeat the sequence until you feel less anxious.

The calming breath
Changing the way we breathe can change the way we feel. Each inhalation is linked to the body’s fight or flight response whereas each exhalation is linked to the relaxation response. When we are stressed and panicked our inhalations become more dominant, which is why we need to focus more on the exhalations in order to reverse this.

Try the following breathing technique next time you feel anxious. Breathe in for a count of five and breathe out for a count of five. Try to keep to this steady rhythm for a few rounds of your breathing. Then, start extending the exhalation by holding the breath out for a count of two after you have emptied your lungs. Repeat this several times and you will begin to find your relaxation response taking over. It takes a bit of practice and concentration but, believe me, you will notice the calming effects.

Flower power
Bach flower remedies are made from natural flower essences and can help with a range of emotions related to fear. The essences are simple to take – just put two drops in a glass of water and sip throughout the day. Here are some specific essences for fear and anxiety:

Rock rose can help when are experiencing terror or fright and you feel unable to move or think clearly.

Mimulus helps when you feel fearful of something you can name, such as spiders, illness, losing your job etc. It’s also helpful when you feel shy or nervous of telling others how you feel.

Aspen can help when you feel anxious or fearful but you can’t exactly say what you are afraid of.

Use your imagination
Visualisation techniques can really help to beat anxiety and fear. Try this simple technique next time you feel an anxious episode coming on. Close your eyes and imagine that you are in a relaxing place, such as a tropical island, a beach or the top of a mountain. Imagine sitting or lying there and concentrate on how you feel, what it looks and sounds like. Really focus on the details to make the scene as vivid and realistic as possible in your mind. Allow your senses to take you into a state of complete calm. Remain in this place until you feel that your breathing is much calmer and your mind is more settled. You should find that your fears have evaporated and you are more able to face the rest of your day.

About the author: Liz Parry is a writer specialising in holistic health and wellbeing, personal development and spirituality.

Originally posted on April 24, 2012 @ 4:41 pm

Be your own NLP master

I’m a big fan of NLP – or neuro linguistic programming – so I thought I’d devote this particular blog post to some of my favourite NLP techniques.

NLP is a personal development system based on an understanding of how the mind works – how people use thoughts, feelings, words and actions – and using this understanding to enhance our potential. Life’s everyday challenges can often produce stress, anxiety or anger if we are unable to find the right strategies to deal with them, so this is where NLP can come in handy.


Creative Commons License photo credit: aithom2

Here are some things NLP can help with:

  • Releasing negative emotions such as anger, depression, anxiety, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt.
  • Helping people who feel stuck in their careers or relationships, or those who are looking to change direction in their life.
  • Boosting confidence and self belief in all areas of life.
  • Demonstrating how to focus on what you want and feeling good, rather than on what you don’t want and feeling bad.
  • Providing effective listening and communication skills to improve relationships with colleagues, family, partners, and most of all yourself.

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Originally posted on December 27, 2011 @ 6:49 am

How to Deal With Anxiety at Parties and Social Gatherings


Creative Commons License photo credit: Amre Ghiba

Parties and social gatherings are a part of life. They are intended to be happy occasions where friends and colleagues get together to catch up and unwind. However, there are a lot of people out there who hate going to parties because they experience high level of anxiety. I used to be one of them. In this post I am going to give you some simple ways to deal with stress and anxiety at parties and social gatherings.

Are you afraid of the marketplace?

First of all it is interesting to look at the condition known as agoraphobia. This word comes from the Greek words agora and phobos and literally translates as “fear of the marketplace”.

Agoraphobia is where people become anxious in situations with which they are unfamiliar or have little control (ie parties). The anxiety is often made worse by the fear of possibly having a panic attack in that unfamiliar situation. The fear and anxiety often spirals out of control and leaves you feeling completely sick and alone.




The condition known as agoraphobia is slightly shrouded in mystery. Experts know what it is but, in truth, they have no idea what causes the problem. There are many different theories and at this time that is all we have to go on. If you find that your fear of parties and social gatherings is becoming more and more serious it is possible that you have this common condition. In that case, it would be a good idea to go and visit your local GP for advice.

How to deal with anxiety at parties and social gatherings


Creative Commons License photo credit: lincolnblues

Even if you do have the condition of agoraphobia the techniques I am about to give you will be of some use. As I mentioned, I used to get extremely anxious before a party. But by using these methods I was soon able to overcome the problem completely.

1. Go with a friend who knows about your problem
Back in high school when I used to suffer from this sort of social gathering related anxiety I had a really good friend who knew my condition. I felt completely comfortable around him and he was very accepting of my reactions. Going to a party with him was a great support because I knew with 100% certainty that he would make excuses for me or support me if I needed to go.

If you have a friend with whom you can be completely open with about your condition it is a great idea to ask them to come along with you. My friend used to be my saving grace – never judgmental or impatient. I remember one party we went to when we were 18 where he sat in the car with me for over an hour just talking to me because he knew I needed to calm down. It was a massive gift for me when everyone else (parents, sisters, etc.) were telling me to just “get over it”.

Try to be open about your problem. I always found that telling people made it better, not worse. If people are aware that you get a little anxious they will always support you.

2. Understand that you’re not that important
The title of this point might seem a little bit harsh but it is something that really helped me out. Give me a few paragraphs to explain because I think it could help you too.

Understanding that you are not that important is a valuable tool to learn. To this day I feel that a lot of my anxiety at parties came because I wanted to uphold a certain “persona” or “character” and I got anxious when I felt that there was going to a be a situation where I might be “exposed”. For example, high school is a time when everyone is trying to be cool and fit in. If you get anxious before a party it might be because you are worrying too much about what other people think about you. You spend so much time worrying what others think about you that it ends up making you really nervous, paranoid and anxious.

Sometimes it is useful to say to yourself, “I am not that important. People are not thinking about me at every moment. My every move is not being scrutinized.” If you be realistic you will come to realize that most people are too wrapped up in their own issues and neurosis to be concerned with you.

3. Cut the pre-party worry chain
Getting anxious at the party itself is only part of the battle. One of the worst things that sufferers of this condition experience is days or even weeks of nervous anticipation. They worry and think about the party so much before hand that when they arrive at the day of the party itself the anxiety is beyond control.

If you want to learn how to deal with anxiety and panic at a party you need to take care of the preparation. Preparing yourself by worrying will only lead to bad experiences. If you can, however, cut the chain of worry you will find that the party itself is not at all that bad.

I wrote a lot about worry in this post on how to deal with worry. The basic technique that you need to learn is simply becoming aware of the fact that you are worrying. Look inside your mind and notice that worry is arising. You don’t need to try to get rid of it or force it out, just become aware of it. When you can do this you will find that it has a lot less power and you are more able to gain control over your mind.

4. Bring to mind the truth of impermanence
When you are suffering from a panic attack or high levels of anxiety it is useful to remember that nothing is permanent. Your panic, anxiety and stress will all go away soon enough.

For example, if you are going to a party and you really do not want to go because you are feeling anxious it is good to bring to mind the fact that both the party and your anxiety will soon finish. They will not last forever. The great thing about this strategy is that you know it is true – you can look at your own experiences to realize that anxiety doesn’t last. It never has before and it never will – it is always going to be impermanent.

The next time you rock up to a party or social gathering and start to feel the anxiety creeping in just take a moment to sit under the sky and say to yourself, “This won’t last.” Remind yourself that your panic will come, but it will also go. The party has started, but it will soon finish. Why get so worked up about something that is only fleeting? This really helped me with my own anxiety.

5. Don’t drink alcohol, coffee or smoke anything
This should be a given but many people do not realize the negative effects that these three substances have on your anxiety and stress. Coffee, alcohol and smoking (tobacco and marijuana) all lead to increased levels of anxiety.

If you cut out these substances you will not automatically cure your party anxiety. It will still probably come about. However, the flip side of this is that if you DO take these substances your anxiety and panic will get much worse. While I have never been a drinker or a smoker, I did used to consume an awful lot of coffee. I didn’t realize it at the time but it was making me very anxious. As soon as I cut it out I noticed that my mind was much easier to control – much more relaxed.

Next time you have a party to go to try cutting out these three things. See how your mind reacts. See how your body reacts. See if you feel more in control. I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

6. Stop the mental chatter
This point is closely related to the strategy about cutting the worry chain. However, this point has more to do with the internal “conversation” that we all seem to have. This mental chatter, in my experience, makes dealing with anxiety a lot worse.

Let’s pretend you are going to a party and all your old high school friends are going to be there. You might start feeling a little anxious and so, as a means to deal with your anxiety, you start talking to yourself about all the different situations that might arise at the party. Your goal is to “cover” all the possible scenarios that might occur and in doing so you believe that you will be better prepared for the party. Wrong.

Mental chatter always makes worry and anxiety worse. The reason for this is simple: worry never sorts anything out. You could spend every minute of everyday for 1000 years thinking about a party but you will never find a solution. The more you internally jabber on about it the worse your anxiety will become.

The next time you notice yourself starting one of these internal dialogues remind yourself that nothing good will come of it. You will not be able to sort out anything by thinking about it. All you are doing is wasting precious time worrying about something that might/might not happen! What a waste of energy.

7. Exercise before hand
Exercise has been scientifically proven to improve the happiness of a person. The reason exercise makes you happy is twofold. Firstly, exercises causes your body to release a chemical called endorphins which make you feel good. Secondly, when you exercise you feel better about yourself mentally. Exercising before a party can be a great way to get a hold on the stress.

The best exercise you can do is something that is considered “high intensity”. My personal favorite are heavy weights or martial arts. These exercises fill you with confidence and to some degree relax your body such that you are less likely to feel the stresses and pains of anxiety overcoming you.

Another form of exercise that might be beneficial is yoga or tai chi. These have been used for centuries to calm the mind and relax the body. It is said that getting the internal energies or “chi” under control will help you to stay calm. Yoga and tai chi certainly do this.

8. Remember, it could be worse!
Sometimes it is tempting to think that a party is the worst place to be on Earth. But it isn’t. Life could be a lot worse.

I always found it really helpful to remember that I am quite fortunate to be able to attend a party with my friends and family. Many people around the world do not have the freedom or the ability to attend parties – their life is spent just surviving. The next time you feel like the anxiety is too much remind yourself that a party is actually a happy event. Don’t let your own issues spoil it for you.

How about you?

I would love to hear whether or not you get nervous before a party. Do you feel stress, anxious and sometimes panicked before it starts? If so, have you found any techniques that help to calm you down? Please leave a comment and let everyone know. As I always say, it might really help someone reading this article.

Originally posted on January 27, 2009 @ 4:02 am