Funny Advice to Give a Bride on Her Wedding Day

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A wedding all about two couples coming together to share their lives for all eternity. It’s two lovebirds vowing to honor, care for, and forgive one another for as long as they both shall live. 

Yes, a wedding is serious business. But luckily for you as a guest, it’s also a time to laugh.

Wedding speeches are a fun part of any wedding reception. There are touching moments and expressions of affection, but there are also hilarious pieces of marriage advice that will have guests laughing the night away.

If you’re in the bridal party, you’re giving a speech or writing a congratulatory wedding card and aren’t sure what advice to give, we’ve got you covered. Here are 5 funny pieces of advice to give a bride on her wedding day.

1. Say it in a Speech

There is a quote that goes: “The relationship between a husband and wife is very psychological. One is Psycho and the other is Logical. Now please don’t try to figure out Who is Who.”

This is a great opener for your wedding toast because it sets the tone for your speech to be humorous without being offensive.

Here is some funny wedding advice that smashes stereotypes and is sure to make your audience laugh. “A woman’s place is in the kitchen… Sitting with her feet up, sipping a cocktail and watching her husband cook dinner.”

Another great opener that will give guests a clue about the content they are about to hear is: “Always remember that marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband!”

2. Use Personal Anecdotes

If you know the bride well, don’t be afraid to use personal anecdotes when giving funny marriage advice. For example, has the bride ever had a hilarious argument with her spouse that you can use to make the audience laugh? Use this example as a segue to give the bride advice about never going to bed angry or learning the importance of communication in marriage.

If you’re airing the bride’s personal business through an anecdote, just be sure to do so with a light touch. You want her laughing along with you, not crying in offense.

3. Jokes about the Naughty side of Marriage

Sex jokes can be a great way to break the ice during your wedding speech, just make sure you have the appropriate audience for such humor. You wouldn’t want to be spouting off an X-rated speech with a bunch of children running around!

Keep your naughty jokes classy. For example, some great marriage advice for a bride on her wedding day comes from Zsa Zsa Gabor who said, “Husbands are like fires  – they go out when unattended.”

This is a funny way to remind the bride that seduction doesn’t end when she says “I do”. She (and her spouse) should work hard to ensure their sex life is kept fiery and hot for as long as they both shall live.

4. It’s Funny because it’s True

The most outlandish advice will only be funny if it’s true, so make sure that you’re giving actual advice – not just looking for a cheap laugh.

For example, Ann Bancroft once said, “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.”  

This reminds a new bride that reverse psychology may be her best friend when it comes to getting her spouse to cooperate around the house. This is a great piece of advice to give a bride on her wedding day because it’s funny and silly, but also effective!

5. Say it with Quotes

If you want to say something hilariously scandalous to the bride, don’t be afraid to use quotes as your scapegoat. Here are some of our favorite funny marriage quotes that you can slip into your reception speech.

  • “Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.” – Joey Adams
  • “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
  • “Marry a man your own age; As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” – Phyllis Diller
  • “Marriage is when a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gets her masters degree.” – Anonymous
  • “After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.” – Hemant Joshi
  • “All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” – Raymond Hull
  • “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.” – Rita Rudner

If you’re giving the bridge funny advice on her wedding day, be sure to use humor with care. This is an occasion for laughter and celebration, but you never want to make your humor offensive or distasteful. By using humor in your wedding speech or well-wishes, you bring levity to the special occasion that the newlyweds will definitely appreciate.

Author Bio:

Rachael Pace is a noted writer currently associated with She provides inspiration, support, marriage advice and empowerment in the form of her motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying about today’s evolving forms of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on all types of romantic connections. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.

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