Some people find it difficult to be alone. Often, being alone is equated with loneliness, but this is one equation that does not always compute. While there have been times that I’ve been alone and lonely, I often find that solitude has a way of bringing showing me what I need.
Being a remote worker, I am fortunate enough to be able to change environments from time to time, and for the past week, I have been staying on a small island in the central Philippines.
It is not that remote, but there are plenty of places to visit – some more isolated than others. During early morning walks, I find my thoughts floating around like the clouds in the sky. And just like those clouds, they’re sometimes dark and gloomy but sometimes all white and fluffy.
I realize I’m finding some sort of clarity in solitude. With the marathons my thoughts continuously run, I face a truth that I have been avoiding: I’m still haunted by the past (this a mild way of putting things, really), and I am not really doing anything about it.
Too generic? That’s because “the past” is as vast as the ocean I see every day.
I don’t even know where to begin.
At this point, however, I am accepting that fact. I am not turning away from it anymore. And while I have no clue what to do next, I am thankful for this degree of clarity.
Things may not get better during my stay here, no matter the immense beauty that surrounds me. Things may even become more difficult. I don’t know.
I hang on to the comfort that spending some time in solitude has done me good and will do the same in the future.
What about you? How do you feel about spending time alone? Does it give you clarity or does it make you feel lonely? Do share your experiences in the comments.