Millennials are facing challenges to marriage that are vastly different from those of their parents and grandparents. This generation (born between 1981-1996) are also getting married at an older age than their parents.
But chronological age aside, their values and how they view their roles in matrimony are vastly different from those of the older generations. These are factors that have raised relationship challenges that were not as evident before.
In the not so distant past, getting married was a goal, more for women than men. I know how politically incorrect it sounds, but that was the way of the world then. As a female, you should ideally have gotten married in your 20s. It gave you social acceptability, economic stability, and the green light for getting pregnant and having kids.
In the 21st century, regardless of gender, young people are not in a hurry to tie the knot. Here are some reasons why:
- They feel they are not financially ready to raise a family.
- They fear divorce, which they experienced as kids of divorced parents.
- They are still pursuing their personal and career development goals.
- Casual sex without lifelong commitment is readily available.
Challenges of marriage for young couples
You are under intense pressure to succeed quickly in your career or business.
The general perception among millennials is, you must have made it in your thirties, like the CEOs and billionaire tech founders of companies in the likes of Amazon, Facebook, and Tesla. The pressure wasn’t as great for your parents because there was no social media then.
Let’s face it. Social media is depressing.
You see your peers posting their awards and promotions in their careers, or setting up another branch of their enterprise, or constantly traveling for work or leisure. And you put in more hours at work to reach their level, resulting in relationship challenges to find more time to spend with your spouse.
A mindset shift and reassessment of values can lessen the pressure to aspire for unrealistic goals so that you make the extra effort to sustain the romance and love in your marriage.
You have greater focus on parenting than the parents of older generations.
Today, moms and dads share parenting responsibilities more than their own parents did. Although mothers still do the bulk of keeping house and seeing to the children’s needs, more fathers are doing household chores and opting for work from home to be more involved in their kids’ growing up and development.
These are worthy changes that foster better parent-child relationships, but active involvement in raising children shouldn’t intrude into your time for meaningful conversations and shared experiences.
Ultimately, what matters most is bringing up enlightened kids with true values of hard work, kindness and caring.
A declining belief in monogamy
A poll in the UK of 2,000 respondents found that one in three young adults belonging to Gen Z is in favor of polygamy.
The generational leaning towards polygamous and fluid arrangements, a temporary marriage contract, and no-fault divorce is endangering marital unions in cultures where monogamy is the default rule.
Reinforce your beliefs in marriage by maintaining respect and showing affection through loving words and actions. Support each other’s dreams and goals and make time for breaks from routine to reinvigorate yourselves.
Technology makes it easier to commit infidelity.
Devices and apps have facilitated instant communication and online meetups without a spouse’s knowledge. Passwords and passcodes that protect a person’s privacy also allow extramarital affairs to continue.
Sharing passwords and shared accounts are not the solution to such relationship challenges. Nurture each other’s moral and ethical principles and sustain your physical and emotional attraction for one another.
Explore new experiences, play out fantasies, and ward off boredom by being physically and mentally interesting and stimulating.