Tying the knot might sound lovely and easy on paper, however, in practice, it can become one of the most stressful events in your life. What you once thought to be a spotless fairy tale come true plan can easily be shattered by the realities of modern life, particularly the economy. Surely, there are lots of things to consider before marriage like the venue, the type of wedding, in-laws’ approval, the wedding dress, and of course, some lingering marriage questions in your head. Without a doubt, you will have some questions to ask before getting married.
That is no matter how devoted or long your relationship has been. No worries, people who often doubt are bound to be more intelligent than the average, and if there’s two of you doubting, then all the better. It usually means you guys know what to expect and also weigh in the bad things and the good things, that is called being prepared. Still, among all those marriage questions in your head, you might want to prioritize answering these 10 important ones. We’ve made a list for you, think of it as your marriage checklist before stepping on the altar.
10. Are you emotionally mature?
One thing that is to be expected in all romantic relationships, not just marriages. Being a heartbreak veteran can actually make you a good manager of your emotions for when the storm comes. More often than not, there will be some bumpy roads in your marriage. So if you do not deal well enough with heartbreaks or other strong emotions, be prepared or try to improve your emotional health.
9. Do you learn from your mistakes?
Somewhat still related to how many heartbreaks you have had. It is important to look into your past relationships and reflect upon them to see how well you have improved. Also, your past relationship mistakes would be a good example of what to avoid in your marriage. If you’ve had none, don’t fret, you can always learn along the way, it will be harder though and both you and your partner will need to work together.
8. Are the deal breakers clear?
Going into marriages blindly and not laying clear what the deal breakers are with your partner is a disaster waiting to happen. First off, you got married partly for a goal, it may be to start a family, to settle, or to set a milestone. If your partner does not understand, know, or agree to these, then better start making them or at least let them know, communication is the most solid foundation for marriages, apart from love.
7. How well do you trust each other?
Similar to that question above but is probably more important. This is also applicable to any relationship, marriage or no marriage. Being with a person you cannot or do not trust is toxic. Anyway, you probably would not be with them if you don’t trust them or if they don’t trust you, right? Consider that one in the list of questions to ask before getting married.
6. Do you make time for yourself?
I know, weird question, but the thing is, there is a big chance that your partner likes you for who you are, not who you can be, make them clarify this for added trust. Of course, you being who you are right now is because of the things you did by yourself and no one else. So it is important that you can make time for yourself and be comfortable in your own skin. It helps to build self-love as well.
5. How well do you know your partner?
You would be surprised at how often people put up a mask only to remove it once the knot has been tied. The same can be said with courtship and non-marital relationships. So unless you are a victim of arranged marriages, then it is important that you know full well who your partner really is, oh and it is also vital that they know who you might be. Otherwise, you will both be marrying masks and ideas instead of each other.
Pretty self-explanatory, sometimes also the biggest hurdle for a lot of marriages. This is particularly more apparent for couples with a wide cultural gap or divide. Know that the in-laws will be an extension of your family and how well they interact with you or with your family can be pivotal to the marriage. Being in bad terms with them can whittle away at your near perfect marriage no matter how much the significant other shrugs off the disapproval of their parents. Of course, this can be black and white, so make sure to exercise wisdom in this one or seek some.
3. Is your career solid?
Getting married without getting made can be quite a big mistake that one should not commit unless you plan to be a housewife or house-husband. Having a career before getting married ensures that you have the proper financial capacity to start a life of your own with someone else or at least have enough savings for a wedding. Of course, if money or self-fulfillment is not a problem, by all means, feel free to ignore this question.
2. Can you stay intimate?
Sex and intimacy can fade away faster than a one-night stand partner once marriage sets in. There are lots of factors to this, like being busy, the kids (always the kids), low sex drive, a third party, or just falling out of love. It is crucial to consider how to set expectations for sex and intimacy in a marriage because too often, a lack of both can result in a divorce.
1. Will you marry ___?
Really, the only question you will have to wait for and probably the only one that will be asked verbally. Before you answer a simple and bifurcated yes or no, let your partner know that there is no such thing as simple in marriage, we all love challenges. So follow up a yes with the nine other questions to ask before getting married above and if you both answer it well or come to a resolution, then you just might be ready.