How to Know if Your Partner is ‘The One’

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The concept of soulmates dates back to 360 BC in Plato’s Symposium. Plato tells us a story that describes humans as originally having four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces. He explains that we were all split from our other halves, constantly trying to put ourselves back together.

Related: How to Become a Better Husband, Boyfriend or Life Partner

In Plato’s myth we all have a longing to be reunited with our better half. But how do we know when we’ve met them? If he/she is the one?

Is he/she the one?

1. You can feel it in your gut

It may seem a bit cheesy, but our stomach can tell us a lot about how we feel around other people. Have you ever met someone and just knew that they were bad news? Well, we can also have a gut feeling about a potential partner. We usually call it the butterflies, but it’s a good indicator there’s something special about this new person.

2. Being around them is easy

Some people are really difficult to be around. When you’ve met “The One” then being in a relationship becomes 10 times easier. There’s no fitting a square peg into a round hole feeling, because you two just seem to fit together so perfectly. A relationship shouldn’t be a rollercoaster with continuous ups and downs. When you’ve met the right person, the relationship feels surprisingly light and easy to manage.

3. They bring you a sense of peace and calm

Many people report feeling a deep and calming peace around their significant other. Once your heart stops searching for your life partner it can feel like a weight’s been lifted off your chest. Being around your soul mate should make you forfeit all anxiety and stress.

4. You don’t have doubts about them

Sometimes in new romances you can find yourself having doubts. But when you’ve found your person it’s as if you could say, ‘I am one hundred percent sure that this can work out.’ You are hopeful and optimistic for the relationship ahead and are no longer weighed down by another person’s baggage. You don’t find yourself thinking, ‘well, they would be great…if they didn’t have ____ about them.’ And it’s not that you’re naïve, you just don’t have the same doubts you had in previous relationships.

5. They make you better

 ‘The One’ is able to bring out the best in you, and help you work through your lesser qualities. You are also able to do the same for them. If you’ve ever heard someone say “She makes me a better man” or “He makes me an honest woman” this is what they were talking about.

6. They improve your self-esteem

Some relationships can prove to be toxic to your mental health. They bring you down and makes you feel terrible about yourself. We often trick ourselves into thinking we deserve this treatment, but when you’ve met the right person, they make you love yourself.

Related: Get Real: 6 Unrealistic Expectations You Shouldn’t Carry into a Relationship

Your soulmate should make you feel secure. People may even start saying, “wow, you seem like you have a glow about you.” When you’re with ‘The One,’ both of you help each other develop healthier views about yourselves.

how to make someone smile

7. It’s not hard to be honest

Do you ever feel like you can’t be honest with someone? When you’ve met your person, telling them everything doesn’t seem like a big deal anymore. You can talk about your past and talk about your future without batting an eye. They can also tell you anything, and you will be there for them too. Honesty is the foundation of a relationship and with your soulmate there are no secrets.

8. You support each other’s values

As important as it is to be honest with each other, it’s also important to know and support each other’s values. It’s not that you and your partner should be identical in your beliefs, but you know they’d support your choices no matter what. Many times, people say they’ve also met their soulmate when the person shares the same morals as them. Relationships can be tough, but they’re even more difficult when a person’s core values conflict with their partners.

9. You make time to be together

A true soulmate means being better off together than apart. When you’ve met ‘The One,’ even hours apart can feel like an eternity. Soulmates prioritize time with their partner, and value time together over everything else. When you know your partner is the right person for you, you can’t help but want to be with them at all times. You can be yourself with them, completely relax, and bask in the love you have for each other. Soulmates will move their schedules around even if they are really busy so that they can spend more time together.

10. You love them deeply as they are

Part of what makes people soulmates is a complete love and acceptance for their other half. You don’t want to change them, and they’re not out to change you. You love their flaws, and their strengths, and they love yours equally so. Part of completing each other is finding that deep, connected love for another person that trumps everything else. It may seem obvious that you would love your soulmate, but the love you feel for ‘The One’ is very different than all other loves that came before it.

In the Soulmate, Plato says “Zeus developed a creative solution by splitting humans in half as punishment for humanity’s pride. It is said that when the two find each other, there is an unspoken understanding of one another, that they feel unified and would lie with each other in unity and would know no greater joy than that.”

In the time of Plato, myths were often created to explain things that we had a hard time understanding.  Meeting a person’s soulmate is such an auspicious event that we needed to create stories to explain why the feeling is so incredible! People often say you’ll know it when it happens.

Have you met your soulmate yet?

This post was written by Alexis Schaffer. She received her undergraduate degree in psychology and is a registered nurse. In her free time she teaches yoga and writes for various online publications. She’s also the proud dog mom of a beagle named Dobby.

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