Expectations can be the death of you – whether expectations come from others or ourselves. While there is no getting rid of expectations in this world, if we are more mindful, we just might be able to deal with expectations in a better way.
In this post, we’re going to focus on things to stop expecting from people with whom we interact. Whether they are family, friends, or people from the office, regular interaction with these people will always result in us expecting something from them.
If you are having issues because of your expectations, take a look at these five things to stop expecting from people around you. Reading and becoming aware of them will help!
1. Stop expecting others to make you happy.
“Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” ~Og Mandino
This pretty much sums it up, doesn’t it? The thing is, it’s easy to read the quote and repeat it over and over again, but in real life, it’s not always that simple. To a certain degree, we will always be affected by what external circumstances, and that includes what other people do and say.
We can’t control others, but we can control our expectations. If we stop relying on others for our own happiness, if we create situations that will make us happy, then we’ll be much better off.
2. Stop expecting others to think the way you do.
Birds of a feather flock together, but they still don’t always agree with each other, do they?
The world will be a much better place if people can have conversations and agree to disgree. You don’t always have to be right. Your friends, family members, and coworkers don’t always have to think the way you do. Period.
3. Stop expecting others to be “on call” for whenever you need them.
It is always nice to have a shoulder to lean on. There’s always that one friend that will be there beside you in an instant when you call for help. But you can’t expect that to be the case all the time. That’s being needy.
Other people don’t exist for the sole purpose of being there for you whenever you need them. Not your parents, not your siblings, not your partner.
There will be times when they can’t be there. The sooner you understand and accept that, the easier your life will be.
4. Stop expecting others to be how you want them to be.
Sometimes, we have this image of how we want people to be, especially those close to us. We want our partner to be more expressive and show his/her appreciation more. We want our parents to be more hands off. We want our friends to be more present.
These are all good expectations, but what happens when they don’t live up to these expectations?
We get upset. We feel let down. Arguments may ensue.
How to avoid the complications?
Accept people as they are. Express your sentiments, but do not force them on others; and once you’ve expressed yourself, stop projecting your expectations.
5. Stop expecting others to treat you better than you treat yourself.
How do you treat yourself? How much do you show self-respect?
Surely, your circle will see these things, and no one can blame them if they don’t treat you better than how you treat yourself.
If you feel that other people treat you badly, take a step back and analyze how you treat yourself and how they perceive this. Perhaps the answer lies there.