photo credit: D R E A M MERCHANT

“Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god.” - Francis Bacon (English Lawyer and Philosopher 1561-1626)

One of the big things that gets you about meditation training is how quickly you have to come to terms with being alone. When you sit there on your cushion and concentrate on the mind you realize how addicted you are to external stimulation - television, radio, iPod, friends, family, etc. Take them away and you feel lonely and agitated.

So how would you go in a 20 year solitary meditation retreat high up in the mountains? Would you get lonely? Here are some lessons I learned from a man who did just that.

The mountain retreat & the difference between loneliness and aloneness

A few years ago when I was in the Indian Himalayas I was attending a talk by a very important Buddhist meditation teacher. The topic of the talk was “Going on a Buddhist Retreat” and he spent the evening talking about how to plan, prepare for and carry out a solitary meditation retreat in the mountains using lessons from his own 20 year retreat. Let me give you a bit of background information:

Solitary retreat in Tibet
Solitary retreat is an ancient Buddhist tradition that was popularized in Tibet by the master known as Padmasambhava. This master would teach villagers, kings, priests and noblemen (and women!) and then send them off to a cave to meditate alone for years and years with nothing but a blanket and the clothes on their back.

These solitary meditators would soon reach an extraordinary level of meditative realization and peace and as the word spread more and more people ventured off to meditate alone in caves. A great community built up where the locals would bring food and water to these yogis and yoginis and as such they could spend years alone without ever having to leave the cave. Needless to say their meditations became very strong!

The practice of solitary retreat became so infused in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition that almost every single Tibetan Buddhist practitioner will spend some days, months or years alone by him or herself in retreat. I myself went to this teacher to learn how to do a solitary retreat and it was during his talk that I learned the difference between loneliness and aloneness.

Isn’t it lonely being alone for 20 years?
At the end of the master’s talk he asked if there were any questions. I had been a dying to do a meditation retreat for a long time but something was holding me back - loneliness. I decided I would ask him if he ever got lonely when he was alone in his cave for 20 years. I was hoping he would say “yes” and then give me some pointers on how to overcome it.

“I have a question sir,” I piped up.

“Mmmm…” he replied with a smile.

“Did you ever get lonely on retreat?”

“No.”

That was it. No. He didn’t. Everyone laughed a little and looked at each other in disbelief as if he had just told us he didn’t need to breathe air. How could someone spend 20 years alone in a cave and not be lonely some of the time? Well I wasn’t buying it. Just as someone else was raising their hand to ask another question I piped up again, “Really? You never got lonely?”

“Nope,” he assured me without an ounce of doubt in his voice.

I paused hoping for something more. Surely he had something else to say on the matter! After what seemed like half and hour he sat back in his chair and took on a more relaxed demeanor and, as if someone had hit the “play” button, he started talking about being alone.

“In all honesty I never once got lonely,” he began. “You westerners have a strange habit of always having to be entertained. It is as if you can’t stand to be in your own company. I wonder why that is?” he asked himself. “If you want to do a retreat you need to learn the difference between aloneness and loneliness. Being alone by yourself doesn’t necessarily mean you are lonely!”

It didn’t hit me at the time but what he was saying was very profound. At the time I was a little annoyed at him. I thought he was lying. But when I went home and started doing a lot more meditation I came to see what he was talking about. I was addicted to stimulation. I struggled to be alone. The Lama was right - it was as if I couldn’t stand to be in my own company!

As the months and years went by I started to become more comfortable being alone. I saw that the cravings for entertainment were just another destructive emotion that I needed to overcome. Slowly, oh so slowly, I saw that there was, in fact, a big difference between loneliness and aloneness.

The importance of spending time alone

photo credit: mcduwie

Now I am a few years down the track and I actively seek out aloneness. I need it occasionally to recharge my batteries and sought out my head. In the beginning I was scared of being alone. Now I quite enjoy it.

It is important to actively cultivate some alone time. It might be taking an hour away from technology and just sitting by yourself. It might be having a day away from your regular home life and getting back in touch with who you really are. It might be driving to the country and sitting in forest for a few hours.

And I am not talking about the “alone” time where you go off in to another room and play video games or read a book. I am talking about alone time where it is you, your mind and nothing else. Nothing. When you create moments like these you will come to discover things you never knew about yourself. Valuable things.

Loneliness is an extremely uncomfortable emotion if you get stuck in it. But, if you are afraid of being alone and are constantly searching for stimulation and entertainment you will slowly lose track of who you are - and that is much worse than being lonely.

My challenge for you is to find a couple of moments in the next few weeks to be completely alone. Watch the feelings of loneliness come and go. Watch the cravings for stimulation come and go. Watch all the pitiful excuses your mind will create to get you out of that boring situation. Watch them and let them go. Just sit. Just be alone.

My challenge for you is to discover the difference between loneliness and aloneness and all the wonderful things that understanding brings to your being.

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What this does is allows comments to be more conversational by nesting replies to comments. So, if you ask me a question in the comments I can click “reply to this comment” and my answer will appear immediately under your question instead of half way down the page. If I don’t want to reply to any particular comment but still want to leave one I just fill out the form in the normal way and my comment will appear separately.

Why did I install it?
The reason I installed this is because we have such a great community of people on The Daily Mind and some of the comments you leave are pure gold. This way we will be able to have better discussions by replying to individual comments - you won’t have to scroll through all the comments to see if anyone has replied.

We have Avatars!
I can now see your face on The Daily Mind! This software has avatars like in a forum which means we will be able to see what you look like and get to know you better. I am really excited about this.

All you need to do to get a photo on your comments is go to www.gravatar.com and sign up for an account. Make sure you use the same email you use for your comments - that’s how they link your photo and comment together! It is well worth doing this because more and more blogs are using avatars.

Other features of the new comments software
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My long time internet hero Leo Babauta wrote a post today called Success isn’t a Competition. In that post he decided that he was going to open up to the internet community and help others in whatever way he could. He even offered some advertising space on his blog for free (which The Daily Mind was fortunate enough to get!).

One thing I love about the internet is the speed at which a good cause can gain momentum. In my post yesterday on why we desperately need love back I talked about how every action has a result and encouraged others to live in a more loving way.

Therefore, following in Leo’s footsteps and in the spirit of that post I want to open up my own services and blog to those who need it. Some ways I might be able to help include:

• Link love
  If you have written a post that you think might help someone I will link to it on The Daily Mind.
• A shoulder to cry on
  If you have some problem in your life that you really don’t know how to deal with you can send me an email using this contact form and I will try my best to be a shoulder for you to cry on. I’m not guaranteeing that I will be any help but I can guarantee I will listen and support you. Perhaps we can figure out a solution together?
• Any other ideas
  If you have any other ideas about how me or The Daily Mind might be able to help just let me know. I will consider anything as long as the true motivation is to bring some benefit.

Can you help?
If you think you might be able to lend a hand in some way please leave a comment and let us know. I am hoping that Leo’s post will spark a wave of charity across the net! Some ways you might be able to help include:

• Linking to blog posts
• Offering free services (financial, plumbing, etc.)
• Offering some advice
• Etc.

Looking forward to the response!

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photo credit: Eddi 07

Advanced yogis may be able to meditate in the midst of chaos and turmoil but we beginners need an environment that is peaceful and conducive to meditation. In this post I want to show you some cheap and easy ways to make your place a perfect venue for introspection, calmness and quiet practice.

9 Cheap ways to make your place peaceful and conducive to meditation

1. Use candle light
Candles are a traditional offering that originated in India. Candles were the main representation of light which is an offering that is made to your teacher or the Buddha as a symbol of the light of the teachings. When you offer a candle on your altar you make the aspiration that the light of peace and happiness spreads throughout the universe and that the light of compassion vanquishes the darkness of anger and hatred. They are a very nice way to calm your senses and the room.

2. Create more space
The great masters of the past recommended that beginners meditate in a place with lots of space. This could mean a hill, mountain or a valley where you can look out over a big view. In occurred to me recently that many people live in apartments with a view of the city or neighborhood. Sitting by your window would be an ideal place to meditate. Failing that, at least create some space in your room by removing clutter and mess.

3. Clean up
An old Buddhist teacher once told me that it was important to clean your room before every session of meditation. As I grow older I see the importance of this - the mind settles a lot easier in a neat and tidy room. Your eyes have less material to wander on to and you feel less anxious because you know you have done a small part of the house chores.

4. Get natural light
I really don’t like meditating in a room with fluorescent lights flickering away. It is much better to have some sun or the natural light of a candle. Again, I think this type of light is “warmer” and much more natural. A strong fluoro light will be distracting and harsh on the old eyes.

5. Open a window
Fresh air is marvelous for meditation. It allows you to breath in deeply and feel like you are not trapped in a little cell like a monk on a three year retreat. I love opening my window when I meditate. This also has the bonus advantage of keeping you a bit cooler which is good for concentration. If you are too warm you are likely to drift off to sleep.

6. Get a Buddha statue
The Buddha was a truly inspirational figure. He wasn’t a god or a superhuman being. He was an ordinary guy like you and me. I find the statues of the Buddha extremely inspiring because they symbolize the work and hardship that he went through. Most importantly, however, they communicate the very true fact that you can do it to. Sitting down in front of a statue of someone who has completed the path is very, very inspiring. You can get some nice Buddha statues here.

7. Buy some flowers
Many ancient Tibetan and Indian texts speak of the value of having flowers in a room where you meditate. It is thought that flowers have a very good effect on the mind because they are always associated with happiness, good harvest and other positive things. The texts say that any place that has fresh flowers will be very peaceful. I tend to agree. My mother always had several bunches of flowers around our house and it always made it feel lighter and more homely. Try it in your meditation place.

8. Play some chanting music during the day
The monks from the monastery of Sherab Ling in the Indian Himalayas won a Grammy Award a few years ago for their traditional chants. I have visited this monastery many times on my trips to India and always found it a very peaceful and special place. You can purchase their CD and play the chants in your home before your meditation session. I find this really gets the ambiance right and makes your mind ready to go.

9. Burn some incense
If you find the right stuff incense can be really useful to your health and your meditation. In Tibet there was a great medical tantra that was passed down from a great master to his students. In that tantra it explained how to make incense that would heal serious illnesses and clear away blockages of the internal energy. It explained that many diseases can be caused by such blockages and burning incense is a good way to remove them. But of course you have to get the right stuff. Some seriously good incense can be bought here.

It doesn’t take much

It really doesn’t take much to make a room a little bit more peaceful. If anyone has any other tips they would like to share that would be great!

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photo credit: paturiku

“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.” - His Holiness the Dalai Lama.

As soon as I wrote the word “love” in the title of this post I had a vision of 80% of my readers rolling their eyes and thinking, “great… here comes another post about love“. For some reason love is not a very cool thing these days. But I don’t care. I’m not all that cool anyway. In this post I want to talk about how we have lost touch with the art of love and why we desperately need to get it back.

Love is not romance or sex

Before I get in to the juice of this post I need to define some terms. Love is not romance. It is not sex. Actually, I should say that it is not just sex. It is so much more than that. This is one of the reasons that we have lost touch with love because we really have no idea what it is. If you walked up to 100 people on the street and asked what love is I think most of them would talk about being “in love”. That is nice. It is romantic. But, honestly, it is selling love short. Because love is so much more than that.

Let’s take a look at few more encompassing ideas about what love really is:

The Buddhist version of love
In Buddhism love is not romantic at all. It is not about starry nights and sunsets on the beach. Nope. It really isn’t. In Buddhism love is defined as “the wish for all beings to be happy“. It is the other side of compassion which is defined as “the wish for all beings to be free from suffering”. It is the very heart and soul of Buddhism because without love for other beings you have no chance of progressing along the path to enlightenment.

The Buddhist idea of love is an excellent one because it is both personal and impartial. What it teaches you to do is take the feelings you have for your friends and family and expand them out to all sentient beings. Your love is no longer reserved just for your wife and kids; you give it to everyone. Why? Because other people are someone’s daughter or son or brother or sister too. And because you know what it feels like to love your own son or daughter you know that it must be important to others as well. Buddhist love is wanting others to be happy.

The Ancient Greek version of love
One thing that is really limited about the word “love” is that it is only one word. We have one four letter word to describe tens of different emotions and feelings. The Ancient Greeks were on to this and as such they had several different words for love so as to not dilute the meanings.

Philia is a term developed by Aristotle and is a love towards friends and family, co workers and other members of the community. This type of love is about a mutual dependence - we love each other because it benefits us both. Storge is the natural affection that a mother feels for her baby. Eros is the word used for romantic love and xenia is the greek idea of love between a host and his guest where the guest repays the host’s kindness with nothing but gratitude.

The theistic version of love
Christians, Muslims, Jews and Hindus also have the type of love that is between a person and God. This type of love is not romantic but is more about respect, gratitude and even fear.

Christians love God because they are grateful for the life he is given at the same time as being fearful of his wrath. The same is true in Islam where the words rafah and rahmah relate to God’s compassion and mercy respectively. As you can see the theistic idea of love is different to general ideas about love.

Love is many things
The point of looking at all of this is to show you that love is far more than just the romantic versions that we see on TV. It is about brotherhood, community, friendship, altruism, happiness and so on. When we look at love in these broader terms it is easy to see how it can be so important for the world today. And that is why we need to remember how to do it.

Why we have forgotten about love

photo credit: digs86

As I said in the opening paragraph it seems as though love is not so cool anymore. It is not at the forefront of people’s “to do” list. This is a very sad state of affairs.

I like to think of myself as a pretty loving guy. I mindfully try to cultivate love towards all the people in my life - family, friends and strangers. But when I sat down today to write this article I realized that it had been a long time since I had actively thought about love. I can’t actually remember the last time I woke up and thought “I am going to try to be more loving today”.

So what have I been thinking about?

Well, work is high on the list. Why haven’t I got more clients? I think about paying the bills a lot. And the drama of the American elections seem to take up a lot of my time. What about the current financial crisis that is going on? Which bunch of idiots is to blame for that mess? I have thought about going to the gym more, eating healthier, getting some nice food for lunch, going on a holiday, changing my business structure… the list is endless. But, it has been a long time since I seriously thought about love.

The pace of the modern world is scary. We are so absorbed in our own wellbeing and day-to-day activities that we have forgotten about love. We have forgotten about love and we have adopted anger. If someone cuts us off in traffic - anger. If the bank charges you an overdraft fee - anger. If the neighbors are making too much noise - anger. What happened to love? Why is everything now about “me”? Perhaps we don’t have time to think about anything else.

In my opinion we have forgotten about love because we are too interested in self cherishing. We are under the impression that by taking care of number one we will get what we want. If I look after myself I will get happiness. We don’t have time to stop and think about loving other people because we are too busy loving ourselves.

But there is one major problem with this attitude: it doesn’t work. We aren’t happy and we aren’t getting any better.

Why we desperately need to get love back

photo credit: chrisjohnbeckett

Do you remember the song by Tupac called Changes? It was a big hit in the 90’s and it had a really good message in the first verse that was obviously intended for the gangs of America. However, it holds the same meaning for everyone else and I wanted to share it with you today. This is what it says:

“I got love for my brother but we can never go nowhere
unless we share with each other.
We gotta start makin’ changes,
learn to see me as a brother instead of 2 distant strangers.
And that’s how it’s supposed to be -
how can the Devil take a brother if he’s close to me?”
- Tupac Shakur

Tupac is right on the money with this monumental lyric. How can the Devil inside of him make him kill another man if he is close to them? Tupac is talking about brotherhood and about community. He is talking about love.

This philosophy applies to each and every one of us on both a small and a large scale. How could you hate your noisy neighbor if you were trying to develop love towards them? Or, how could people of different races murder each other in cold blood if they had feelings of love towards them? It is my opinion that 90% of the worlds problems are a result of people not loving each other enough. If we have any hope of living in a peaceful world we need to make love so much more important in our lives.

This might seem like an overly simplistic and naive notion. And perhaps it is. Perhaps the world’s problems are so far ingrained that no amount of love can repair them. I mean, is love going to stop the fighting in the Middle East? Is love going to end organizations like the KKK? Is love going to prevent the destruction of the Tibetan culture and people by the faceless Chinese Government? I doubt it.

But its all we’ve got. We simply have no other solution.

Think about love in a long term scenario:

Lets assume that 10,000 people read this article by the end of the year and of that 10,000 people 500 go home and start teaching their kids about the importance of love. In 20 years those 500 kids will have grown up and had kids of their own so now we might have 1500 people (grandparents, parents and children) who think and act in a loving way. Furthermore, we can assume that throughout their lives those initial 500 children have talked about and exemplified love with others. They might have been able to influence people and show them how important love can be. So the actual figure might be closer to 5000 people who think and act in a loving way. Are we making a difference yet?

Now what if one of those 5000 people turns out to be a leader or a role model like a politician, a celebrity or so on? They might be able to influence thousands of people of their own accord. Are we making a difference yet?

The world’s problems can be solved with love. It is my firm belief that human beings are loving by nature and because of that inherent love it doesn’t take much for them to start acting in a loving way. Love in infectious. It is contagious. And it solves problems. We need love now more than ever.

I am not trying to sell you a set of religious beliefs. I do not care whether you are black or white, green or blue, Muslim or Christian, Republican or Democrat, etc. I really couldn’t care a less. What I do care about is whether you love others. Why? Because every thing you do in life has an effect. If you live your life in an angry way you will degrade and negatively effect the people around you. And there is no way of knowing what effect that might have on a person and what that person might then teach to others. On the other hand, if you live your life in a happy and loving way you will enrich and inspire those around you. The love you give will spiral out in to the community and you will create a legacy that you can be proud of.

Conclusion

I have decided that it is time for me to step up and start applying love in every scenario. I no longer want to be the person who only looks out for number one. Sure, I am going to keep working and making money and going to the gym. But what I am not going to do is react in anger or search for my welfare at the expense of others. I am going to start putting others first and love them regardless of their age, driving ability or behavior.

I had forgotten about love but I desperately need it back.

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Want to know the real reason you are overweight and unhealthy? It is because your discipline isn’t up to scratch. It is because you have some depression and can’t find the energy to get to the gym. You see fitness and health starts with the mind. If your mind is off track your body will be too. In this post I want to show you the real way to get lean, fit and healthy. The real way involves some mental exercise.

Why the mind is the foundation of fitness

I want you to follow along with a little exercise here. Think of the last diet that you attempted to do. Was it the South Beach Diet or the Atkins Diet or were you just trying to cut out a particular food? Whatever it was I want you to think of three instances where you didn’t stick to the diet. Of those instances how many of them were because of a mental weakness like an emotional breakdown, laziness or depression?

I’m betting all of them.

You see the mind is the foundation of everything you do in your life. It is like the creator of your universe. Everything you encounter in your world is viewed in your mind. Everything you want to achieve in your life is conceived in your mind. Every excuse you create comes from your mind. It is important to acknowledge this - especially if you want to lose a few pounds.

If you can have a little mastery over your thoughts and emotions you will find dieting and hitting the gym a thousands times easier. Losing weight will be so simple and you will not feel like the gym is a “task” that you “have” to do.

Early morning Kung Fu and my battle with my mind

photo credit: Dave Austria

Ever since I was quite young I have dabbled in Kung Fu. For about six years I took it extremely seriously to the point where I was training four to six hours a day. During these times I would experience a lot of fatigue and have quite a few “mental showdowns” where I would consider chucking it all in and being more normal.

You see Kung Fu is Chinese for “hard work” and it is exactly that. Damn hard work. If you want to get results you need to dedicate a lot of time to the art. I realized this quite early on and so decided to get up at 5am everyday (even during high school exams) and train for two hours. I would then go to school, come home, and resume my training for a further two or three hours. By the time I had eaten dinner and sat down to do my homework I was exhausted. Mentally and physically.

It was during these times of exhaustion that I realized how big a role the mind plays in life. I was this dedicated to fitness and health because of some discipline I had developed in my mind. I was able to push through pain barriers in training because of my mind. And when I had those “mental showdowns” I was lucky enough to see it as just mind’s tricks and move through it.

Kung Fu was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Not because I learned really cool moves that would allow me to rip out your floating ribs before you even saw me coming. No. It was because it is an art that gives equal weight to the body and the mind. It understands that without the two coming together as a team it will be difficult to get past the first few weeks of development.

And this is what you need to learn if you want to lose weight, get fit and get healthy. You cannot really make any long term progress with your body unless you give equal attention to your mind.

How to prepare the mind for your fitness and health journey

There are three important things that you need to do in order to prepare your mind for success. These steps are simple. They do not have to be done before you start either. You can do them as you go along and as you see the mental issues arising.

1. Commit for the long term
The first thing you need to do is commit to getting fit and healthy. Tell your mind that it is going to be a long journey filled with lots of ups and downs. And when these downs come along you do not want to give up. You are going to see them as part of the cycle of ebbs and flows and continue on.

Most people only stick to fitness and health for a very short time because they do not realize that it is a really long term event. They see some gadget on late night television and they think it is going to solve all their problems in a week. And when it fails, they give up. Resolve not to be like this.

2. Learn to meditate while exercising
Learning to do a basic mindfulness meditation is one of the most useful things to know in life. It helps you to see through all of your mind’s bullshit and tricks. It allows you to take control of your destiny and achieve things without creating a myriad of excuses for giving up.

The idea behind this type of meditation is that you become more aware that your thoughts are just thoughts. Nothing more. They have no power over you and if you simply learn to observe them from a neutral point of view they will fade away and let you continue running on the treadmill. Mindfulness meditation will be extremely important when you feel like throwing in the towel and giving up. It is THE only thing that will get you through.

3. Develop some mental toughness
Mental toughness is basically like increasing your ability to deal with pain. When you are on a diet or on a new exercise plan there will be a lot of pain. Sugar cravings, carbohydrate cravings, muscle aches and so on. You need to develop a new level of mental toughness whereby the things that used to bother don’t affect you anymore.

For example, lets pretend you are addicted to coffee. The first thing you do in the morning is make a nice cup of coffee. If you don’t get that morning coffee you tell yourself that you “need” it and you get really grumpy and angry with everyone around you. Mental toughness is all about getting past that whiny stage and realizing that you don’t “need” it. Things are not that bad. When you have mental toughness you can get through anything.

Body and mind working together

One of the first things you will notice when you start eating clean and exercising is that your mind becomes a lot clearer and happier. In this post on beating depression I talked about how exercises is one of the best ways to make yourself feel happy. To me this is one of the most poignant proofs that mind and body and intimately linked.

When you want to get fit and healthy you need to address both the mind and the body but you will also notice that, to some extent, they take care of themselves. Let me give you an example.

I was once talking to an old monk in India who was renowned for being a very good meditator. This monk glowed (quite literally) and looked extremely healthy. When I asked him if he ate a specific diet or did any exercise he told me that his meditation took care of all of that. I asked him to elaborate and he explained that as he started meditating more and more he realized that bad foods were harming his progress. So he quite naturally gave up those bad foods without any cravings or withdrawals. I was impressed.

To me this story illustrates how the mind and body work together but also separately. If you take care of the body the mind will naturally freshen up. If you take care of the mind the body will be easier to deal with. This relationship can be summed up visually with the ancient Yin and Yang symbol you see above.

Actual tips for losing weight and getting fit and healthy

photo credit: popofatticus

Now that I have told you about the mind’s role in this health stuff I want to give you a few of my best health and fitness tips. These are tips I have developed and discovered over my years as a martial arts practitioner and raving soccer fan.

1. Do high intensity exercise instead of low intensity
High intensity exercise is better than low intensity exercise. Unless you are really overweight, unfit or have a heart condition you should be increasing the intensity of your workouts all the time. You see, the fact of the matter is that high intensity workouts burn more calories and they keep your heart rate elevated even after the workout has stopped. This means you will burn calories all day long - calories that would otherwise be stored as fat.

2. Eat an all natural diet
One of the best things you can do for your health and your waistline is to throw out all of those man made foods. Natural foods are so much better for you and after a few weeks you will notice that fat is burning off of your body quite naturally. Get rid of all those flour and sugar based foods that we rely on so much and replace them with fresh fruit, vegetables, nuts and so on.

3. Eat only fruit until midday
All throughout my Kung Fu days I would only eat fruit until midday. This was one of the best things I ever did for my body and mind - fat burned off fast, I had more energy than ever before and my training sessions were more intense. What is really interesting, however, is that I rarely got sick.

Gandhi (and many scientists actually) believed that human beings were meant to eat fruit, not meat. Our eyes can see in color to discern different plants, our hands are meant for plucking and grasping as opposed to slashing and ripping (for flesh) and our intestinal tract is the perfect length for digesting fruit. I suggest that you start thinking of fruit as a whole meal instead of a snack and really increase your dosage.

4. Lift weights
Weight training will help you burn more fat than anything else. Many people think that weight lifting only builds muscle but this simply isn’t true. You cannot build muscle without losing fat. The two do not coexist together. The more muscle you have the less fat you will have.

The best weight lifting you can do is with exercises that utilize a lot of muscles at once. These are called compound exercises. The best ones are:

• the bench press
• the chin up
• the squat
• the deadlift
• the dip

These exercises use a lot of muscles and take a lot of energy to perform. A few weeks at the gym doing just these exercises and your body will be unrecognizable!

A special note for women: do not buy in to the myth that weight lifting will make you look muscly like a man. It won’t. Women simply do not have the testosterone to pack on that kind of muscle. All that will happen is that you will get a firmer body with a lot less fat. Try it out.

5. Sip water throughout the day
Water is a wonderful and very natural way to clean out your insides and keep yourself hydrated. It is also an excellent means of beating hunger pains which would otherwise lead you to snack. It is good to sip water throughout the day instead of drinking it in big chunks because this puts a lot of pressure on your internal organs. Keep a water bottle at your desk and in your car and by the television.

6. Keep mixing it up
Human beings seem to need variety. We don’t like to do the same thing over and over again. And when it comes to fitness it is not necessarily a good idea to do the same thing over and over again. You see the body can adapt to certain workouts and if you keep repeating them you will make little or no progress.

Mix up your routine by trying new things or doing them in a new fashion. You might want to go to a boxing class instead of your normal jog. Or, you might want to lift weights super slowly instead of pumping them out at Rocky’s speed. Mix it up all the time.

Conclusion

I hope this article helps a few of you master your mind in order for you to change your body’s shape and health. If you don’t bring your mind on board it will be extremely difficult to get anywhere with your body. Develop mental toughness, commit to your program for the long haul and learn to see through your mind’s bullshit tricks!

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As my long time readers will know I travel to India every year for a holiday. Over time I have picked up some excellent travel tips which have allowed me to make the most of my overseas adventures. As the holiday season is looming I thought it would be a good idea to share some of these tips to help you have a holiday that is truly amazing.

18 travel tips to make your holiday truly amazing

1. Prepare (REALLY) early
Something I always intend to do but never end up doing is early preparation. I leave Visas and immunizations to the very last minute even to the point where I jeopardize not being able to travel. Take this year for example. I knew I needed an Indian Visa but I still left it to one day before the cut off deadline. This meant I had to race around and beg the Embassy to be kind to me. I got the visa but it caused me a lot of stress.

If you want to make sure your holiday is stress free and enjoyable it is a good idea to prepare a few month in advance. Yep, that’s right. Months in advance. Go to the doctor and get immunizations. Go to the Embassy and find out when to get Visas. Make photo copies of your credit cards, passports, plane tickets and book your accommodation as early as possible. Many a holiday has been ruined due to late preparation. You always forget something.

2. Tie up loose ends at home
Something that I always do now is make sure I prepare my home as much as I do my holiday. You really do not want to be worrying about your dog or your birds or your gardener or your letterbox while you are supposed to be relaxing in the sun.

The first few days of my most recent trip overseas were marred by the fact that I had arranged a business meeting with an important client while I was supposed to be on an international flight. He rocked up to the cafe and I never showed up. I felt terrible. Make sure you tie up all loose ends at home before getting on that plane.

3. Keep your mind open
One of the worst things you can do to yourself and the people you are traveling with is keep your mind closed. Closed minded people are the WORST to travel with because everything bothers them and nothing is good enough. This is especially true if you go to an Asian country where hygiene might not be up to your standards, customs are completely different and the food might make you sick.

I have traveled around India with a few closed minded people. They hated all the con artists and the food was never as good as it should have been. The homeless beggars annoyed them. They spent their whole trip fighting everything that happened.

On the other side of the coin I have traveled with people who are incredibly open minded. They enjoy their trip 100 times more because everything is an adventure or an experience and as such their holiday is a truly magical event full of treasured memories.

My advice: if you want everything on your holiday to be exactly as it is at home then save some money and just stay at home.

4. Don’t sleep in
Okay so you have four weeks off work and you are in a country that you have always wanted to visit. You have no work to go to, no deadlines to meet and no traffic to beat. Why not sleep in? Because there is a lot to see.

I used to sleep in on my holidays because I thought I needed the rest. “That’s what holidays are for” I would tell myself. But as I got more experienced I realized I was wasting a lot of time. You don’t get to go overseas everyday and it would be a good idea to get out and experience the place. You will find your holiday is much more eventful if you don’t sleep in.

5. Be careful who you travel with
Four weeks alone with someone can kill a relationship. If you go with a friend who mildly annoys you when you are in your home situation you will hate them after a few days of traveling. Traveling brings out the most annoying in people. Their neurosis’ come out for everyone to see. Tiredness, fear, fatigue and over stimulation. All of these things lead to a cranky travel companion.

On the other hand, traveling can really strengthen a relationship. I have been to India with my girlfriend and my best mate and it didn’t cause any problems at all. We respected each others needs and desires and as such created a lot of experiences that we are now really fond of. Pick your traveling companion wisely.

6. Underpack
There is a rule in traveling - pack the bare minimum and then half it. I tend to agree.

One of the worst things about traveling is the luggage. Waiting for it in airports, checking it hasn’t been stolen, lugging it from place to place. It is the pits. I much prefer to pack lightly and buy anything I need when I am over there. Of course this strategy doesn’t apply to everyone. I go to Asia where everything is cheap. If you are traveling to Europe you might want to avoid buying things you can bring from home as you will soon be wishing you brought more money.

7. Pick your season

photo credit: wsdot

This year I went to India in July. Monsoon time. 85% of the trip was spent indoors because it was raining far too much to go outside. The year before that I went in January. Winter time. 70% of the trip was spent indoors because it was snowing outside.

There are certain times of the year where it is markedly better to travel. These times depend on where you are going. For example, you want to avoid monsoon season in Asia, summer in the Middle East and Africa and so on.

And I am not just talking about the weather. In Borneo there is a place called Turtle Island where you can watch turtle eggs hatch on the beach. The problem? We went in the non-hatching season. Make sure you check with your travel agent as to whether you are going at the right time.

8. Get a (REALLY) good travel agent
My travel agent is ‘da bomb’. He is the kind of guy who would go above and beyond to look after you when you are traveling.

Let me illustrate with an example. One year in India I got quite sick after being there for only a few days. I cracked and spat the dummy and decided that I wanted to come home. I’d had enough! I got on the email to my travel agent and told him that I wanted to come home and even though my tickets were non-negotiable I wanted him to find me some earlier ones. Within five minutes he had written back saying he had rung the airline and got me an illness exemption and I could leave tomorrow, the next day or the day after that. I didn’t end up going home but I learned what kind of travel agent he was.

Shop around when you are looking for a travel agent. Make sure he/she is going to get you the cheapest flights and continue their service to you while you are on holiday. Many agencies ’set and forget’ - if you need something changed while you are abroad it is your own bad luck.

But my travel agent is busy… sorry.

9. Make sure your bank card has a four digit pin
Many people choose a lengthy bank card pin number because they think it will be safer. This is probably a good idea but when you are traveling you need a four digit pin number otherwise your card won’t work in the overseas ATMs.

Go in to your bank a few weeks before you leave and tell them where you intend on traveling to. They will tell you whether your card will work in all the machines and how much it will cost to make withdraws. Quite often it is very expensive.

10. Check Smart Traveler
The Australian Government publishes an extremely well managed website called Smart Traveler. This website is run by the Government Foreign Affairs Department and gives daily updates on the situation in every country around the world.

For example, if you are in a country where there is a high chance of a terrorist attack you can check the website and it will tell you if there is any credible information that points to an imminent attack. They also tell you about other dangers such as natural disasters, diseases and so on.

Of course, the Australian Government won’t get it right all the time. They don’t have a crystal ball that automatically uploads any dangers to the website. But, it is a good way to check out the general climate in your destination and make an informed decision about whether it is a place you really want to go to.

11. Get a mosquito repellent with DEET
In Australia we have the biggest mozzies in the world. Our mosquitoes are often as big as small birds. Only joking. In all honesty though, the mosquito repellent industry is quite advanced in Australia due to the fact that we do have a lot of big mozzies. And what we have found is that the best repellents are the ones that have DEET in them.

DEET is short for N,N-diethyl-meta-toluamide and it is the active ingredient in a few really powerful insect repellents. In my experience in India it is only the products with DEET in them that do any good. Without DEET you will still get bitten. If you are going to a tropical destination do your research and find a repellent that includes this substance.

Warning - prolonged use of DEET is not healthy. Make sure you read the instructions carefully.

12. Don’t visit too many places
Okay so you are on holiday and you have a few weeks to visit as many places as possible. You rush around, see everything but then on your way home realize that you haven’t really taken any of it in.

As I get older I see more value in spending longer in fewer places as opposed to rushing around and seeing as much as possible. I like to experience the culture, meet the people and really get a feel for the place. I am a little bit over sightseeing. One of my biggest pieces of advice for you is to take your time and really absorb each place that you visit before moving on. Don’t feel like you have to see everything.

13. Watch out for sun burn
Imagine spending thousands of dollars on your dream holiday to a tropical beach only to get burned on the first day and spend the next week in bed in agony. It is not very nice.

Many people from colder climates head to a tropical destination with the aim of getting a bit of sun and relaxing by the beach. You have to remember that the sun is bloody powerful and your skin will burn easily. I new a girl in high school who was hospitalized because she spent a few hours asleep on the beach. Sun burn is a good way to ruin your holiday. Slip, slop, slap.

14. Learn a bit of the language
Most places speak English but quite often you find yourself in a scenario where you need to know a little bit of the local language. It might be a market place where you are trying to barter with the shop owner or it might be trying to tell a taxi driver he is going the wrong way. Get a small phrase book and try to use it as often as possible.

I have actually made a lot of friends overseas whilst trying to speak their language. It normally ends up with everyone having a good old laugh at the terrible accent but it is worth a try! You will be surprised how handy a few words can be.

15. Don’t be afraid to rough it

photo credit: carolyn.will

It is amazing how much you learn about yourself when you are forced to rough it in a foreign country.

When I was 17 I was in the middle of the Indian state of Bihar which has one of the world’s highest crime rates. I was alone and had to catch a midnight train despite everyone’s repeated warnings that I might get mugged or kidnapped and never seen again. But I had to go otherwise I would miss my flight home. So I booked a taxi to the train station with a driver I knew and asked if he would come in and wait for the train with me. He agreed but then at the last minute chickened out! So there I was - alone by myself in the middle of the night in one of the shadiest places in Asia.

Needless to say I made it home and the experience taught me a lot about what I am capable of dealing with if I need to. If you are forced to rough it in a foreign country do not be afraid. Don’t fight it. Just do your best and enjoy the experience.

16. Get a Lonely Planet
The Lonely Planet series of travel books are amazing. I always shrugged off suggestions that I needed one for India. “I’ve been there heaps of times,” I would say. “Why do I need a guide?”. I was wrong.

Last year I was given a guide as a gift and it proved to be really helpful. I found places I had never heard of in towns I had visited five or six times before and learned a lot about my home away from home. Lonely Planet is more than just a travel guide with street maps and sightseeing destinations - it is a travelers companion. They really do some excellent work on digging out the hidden gems in thousands of places around the world.

17. Put your most important gear in your carry-on
Always put your valuables and your most important items in your carry-on bag. Don’t check them in with your luggage because luggage gets lost. And it gets lost for good.

There is nothing worse than rocking up at your destination to find that your bags have been lost and you are without a toothbrush, change of clothes, credit card, etc. Make sure you carry all of that stuff with you so you can get by in the event that your bags go bye bye.

18. Relax!
Don’t take yourself too seriously on the trip. Relax and have a good time. Don’t let worry and stress creep in to your mind. Just let go and relax. After all you are on vacation!

Anyone have any other tips? I’d love to hear them!

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“There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you still get the same soaking.” - from the Hagakure, a famous Samurai manual.

I love Samurai. Ever since I was little I have been fascinated with their way of life and how they mixed the Zen Buddhist teachings with the ice-cold warrior mentality. Let’s face it - Samurai are extremely cool! In this series I want to introduce you to a few of the core Samurai principles and how you can apply them to your modern way of life.

Discipline is essential in all situations

“If you walk, just walk. If you sit, just sit. But whatever you do, don’t wobble.” - Master Ummon

A Samurai will always act with poise and discipline. It would be a rare event to see a Samurai lose his cool and lash out with emotion and passion. Regardless of whether he was under enemy attack, training with his partner or spending time with his master the warrior would always be disciplined.

Nothing has changed since the time of the Samurai - discipline is still essential. Whether you are looking to climb the corporate ladder, improve your family life or develop more wisdom it is essential that you have discipline. When you lose that you lose your focus.

Always carry a backup weapon

“You win battles by knowing the enemy’s timing, and using a timing which the enemy does not expect.” - Miyamoto Musashi.

The Samurai’s main weapon was the Katana (long sword). This weapon was so important to the Samurai that they would often give it a name and talk to it like a living creature. The Katana was known as the soul of the Samurai. However, when the had to check their Katana at the door they carried their smaller Wakizashi by their side. This smaller blade never left the Samurai’s grip, not even when he slept. Sometimes when the warrior lost his primary weapon in a fight he would call upon his Wakizashi to finish the job. As such he was never without a weapon.

This is an extremely important lesson for modern life. I am not saying that everyone should carry around two whopping great big swords in their daily activities. That would be madness! What I am saying is that it is important to have a backup plan for that rainy day that is sure to happen. Diversifying your investments is a good idea in case your main revenue stream dries up. Make sure you are never left without a weapon.

Honor is of utmost importance

“One should not be envious of someone who has prospered by unjust deeds. Nor should he disdain someone who has fallen while adhering to the path of righteousness.” - Imagawa Sadayo

For a Samurai there is nothing more important than honor. They lived their lives in a very honorable way. Many scholars will argue, however, that the Samurai’s honor was somewhat perverted and often mistaken for an inflated sense of ego. For the most part though these warriors were a very honorable bunch.

This is very important in today’s modern world. So many people are trying to lie, steal and cheat. A Samurai would never do this for fear of losing their honor and shaming their family and master. I think this is an important personality trait that we need to see more of in business, commerce and 21st century life. We need more people who see honor and ethics as being more important than money and status.

Study and training are a lifetime commitment

“Study strategy over the years and achieve the spirit of the warrior. Today is victory over yourself of yesterday; tomorrow is your victory over lesser men.” - Miyamoto Musashi.

The Samurai were always studying, practicing and training. He would never let a day pass without spending several hours practicing his martial arts, studying the Sutras of Zen Buddhism and doing a zazen meditation. The Samurai understood that in order to be perfect (and they were perfectionists!) one needed to devote constant attention to studying and training in one’s art without ever giving up or losing enthusiasm.

This devotion to study and practice is something that is lacking in many people’s lives. We really want to achieve certain goals but we really don’t want to put in the study and effort that is going to get us there. Furthermore, once we attain certain goals (like a good job) we stop studying and just meander in our comfortable equanimity. The Samurai way is to keep studying and keep practicing and keep getting better. I would like to be like that.

Make sure you subscribe to our feed to catch Part Two in our Samurai Lessons series.

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The more and more blogs I read the more in tune my bullshit-o-meter becomes. In this post I want to show you a few way you can tell that you are reading a bullshit blog.

WARNING - This post contains harsh language. I know a lot of people who have been hurt by bullshit artists and as such I am very passionate about this issue. I will mostly deal with bullshit “Self Help” blogs.

1. The author claims to be enlightened
There is a very popular blog in the “self help” genre where the author has openly claimed to be a fully enlightened person. Let me tell you something, anytime someone says they are enlightened you should get warning bells.

In these modern times there are so many shady people trying to convince you that they have something special to offer. The truly enlightened person, however, would never claim to be anything special and would certainly never use it as a promotional tool. If you find a blog that is written by a “Guru” there is a good chance it is full of crap.

There is an old saying: “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing”. This is true of these blogs. They are usually written by people who have just begun the spiritual journey themselves and think they have a lot of the answers. Be wary. This type of blog is a dangerous blog to read because they pass on their misunderstandings to you. It is like the blind leading the blind - everyone gets lost.

2. The author tells you there is no work to be done
One of the classic catch phrases of cults and bullshit spiritual blogs the world over is that they tell you that there is no work to be done. You are fine. There is no point in being disciplined because there is nothing to be done. There is no point to your religion or your spiritual journey because you actually are 100% fine.

The problem I have with this attitude is that it is flagrantly incorrect. We are not fine. We are stressed, nervous, anxious, angry, antisocial and depressed messes. Question: if there is nothing to be done then why are we looking at these blogs in the first place? Why are we seeking help?

Happiness is work. Helping others is hard work. Self development takes discipline because you have to work with your mind and your mind is full of millions of bad habits. These bad habits will not go away because someone is telling you “its ok”. Accept the challenge.

I think the idea that “everything is fine” comes from a misunderstanding of some higher spiritual schools. In Buddhism the highest school is that of Dzogchen or Mahamudra. These schools speak phrases like “everything is primordially pure” and “there is nothing more to be done so relax“. This does not mean “do nothing”. These teachings are talking about our potential for enlightenment, not that we are enlightened now. And if you have to remind yourself to “do nothing” you have missed the point anyway.

It is important that we start at the beginning when we want to work with our mind. Don’t jump to the highest teachings because you will miss the point. It is like trying to do the long jump when you haven’t learned to walk yet. We all have to start at the beginning. Blogs that tell you otherwise are full of shit.

3. The author asks for money
When it comes to self help, spirituality and religion it is always a little disconcerting when the author asks you for donations. The issue of making money from religion is a very, very tricky one.

Let me make some distinctions. If a religious organization like The Salvation Army is asking for donations on its blog it is because they want to help someone. These people put blankets on homeless people, feed those who can’t afford to eat and provide medicine to the sick. It is an organization that the Christians out there can be really proud of.

However, if some popular blog full of Google adverts and affiliate links in its sidebar is asking you to “buy them a coffee” you can bet that their advice isn’t going to have your best interests at heart. It is profit driven.

Now here is where it gets tricky. You have to make money to survive. You have to have money to host a website and allow you the time to write the articles. I have Google ads on The Daily Mind. The reason it is tricky is because it isn’t always easy to ascertain who is in it for the cash and who is in it to help people? All I am saying is that there are people out there who use spirituality and vulnerable people to make money. A lot of money. Make sure you thoroughly examine each blog you read to try and get a feel for their motivation for writing.

4. You only get one side of the story
Some of the best blogs on the internet are about a cause or a side. The political blog Huffington Post is probably the biggest blog on the net and has some incredible articles and really well written updates. The problem with the HP is that it is a massive Republican hater and as such you do not get very balanced news. Any election news that you read is in favor of Obama and the Democrats. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing. It just means you have to be careful you are not missing out on some important facts that you might get from a Newspaper that checks and double checks its sources.

Many blogs write a lot of “link bait”. This is the type of post that has an extreme idea and a funky title and is written for the sole purpose of getting people to link to it. And what is the best way to do that? Write something controversial. Controversial articles are rarely balanced and truthful. Occasionally, however, they have something truly groundbreaking to say so, again, use your intelligence to decide.

5. The blog gives little thought to the consequences of their actions
Many blogs are able to influence thousands of people. The biggest blogs on the net have hundreds of thousands of subscribers who read every word that they publish. And a lot of those blogs choose to talk about things that could have a really negative impact on their readers.

There is one blog out there (which I won’t link to because I don’t want to promote it) that is dedicated to hating women. It talks about how selfish and disgusting women are and even advocated violence towards women. The worst part - it has thousands of subscribers.

If you find a blog that is making you more angry, opinionated or greedy then it is a good idea to leave it alone.

Conclusion
The majority of blogs are good. Most of them are great ways to learn new things and meet new people. However, there are a few bad ones. Make sure you examine every blog you read with the methods above to see whether you are reading bullshit.

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