How to Find What Matters Most to You & Focus on Them

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This far down the road, you’ve probably thought about what matters most to you. You have acquired the requisite gadgets, car, and house, even have a family. But there’s a dissatisfaction that eats at you. 

 One reason for this is because you don’t really know what your priorities are. So you’re stuck in a job you don’t like, you feel anxious and stressed most of the time, and your relationships with family and friends seem empty and hollow. 

What matters most to you?

To find what matters most to you, reflect deeply on what gives purpose and meaning in your life. Having clarity in knowing what your values and purpose are will give you the direction and focus that will make a significant and positive change in your quality of living.

what matters most

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So, do away with the selfies and social media. For the most part, they are distractions. The things that really matter in life, I’ve since learned, are purpose, health, and relationships. Without them, you’re not living. You’re only existing. 


To find what your purpose is, ask yourself what motivates you. It could be your work and its impact on others. It could be emotional, moral or financial support to your family and friends. Other meaningful pursuits are spirituality or advocacy. Your purpose can determine your life goals, guide your conduct, and give you direction. 

find your purpose

Photo by Danica Tanjutco on Unsplash


In the course of your life, your purpose may change following a shift in priorities or experiences you have gone through. Follow that which fulfills your soul and share them with the people around you. 


Funny how a lot of people take their health for granted…until they are seriously threatened with an illness or injury. We ignore the state of our bodies and minds when they’re still functioning well. Don’t wait for them to call your attention to something that’s not right before you start living a healthy lifestyle. Because your health should matter most to you and become one of your priorities.

health matters

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We all know the drill: eat more of plants, nuts, and vegetables, less of red meat, salt and sugar. Exercise on a regular basis. Make meditation or yoga a daily habit to counter the hectic pace that brings stress.

Yet you have burgers and pizza delivered, you sit in front of your computers all day, and you never have alone time. Staying healthy is significant for you and your family. You maintain your physical and financial independence. You avoid becoming a burden to your family. You can enjoy the rest of your life unhampered by sickness, worries, and anxiety. 


Relationships are critical to our physical and emotional wellbeing. Just as unhealthy relationships can destroy a person, strong and positive relationships sustain and nourish you. 

Numerous studies have shown that people who are in mutually satisfying relationships live longer, have stronger immune systems and thus are not as prone to illnesses, and are more caring and kind. These findings go for the giver as well as the recipient. 

relationships matter

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In this digital age, an aspect of relationships that has been ignored is the physical touch. A large part of communication is now done through text messages, chats, calls and social media. This is quite sad since cuddles, hugs, pats, kisses and more intimate forms of touch communicate love, gratitude, compassion, happiness, and affection. 

In the real world, however, even the best relationships go through difficult times. If these are surmountable, and you’d rather not break up a union or a friendship, the best thing to do to counter a negative behavior is to refrain from matching it with the same intensity. Nor should you let your anger and resentment fester inside you. Don’t accept the blame but don’t judge the other person too, by thinking you are better. At the right time, talk about it or suggest counseling. 

When you find what matters most to you, hold on to them and nurture them. Finding your purpose, taking care of your health, and having meaningful relationships help you grow, succeed and achieve self-actualization.

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